So, I've been trying to pen some lyrics to this song I wrote about one of best friends committing suicide. I think the music expresses the emotion better as I originally wrote it as an instrumental, but I really want lyrics for it. Now, I've tried to flower it up with some more eloguent language and some dandy rhymes, but ulitmately it doesn't fit the song's rhythm. So I decided to go with some very plain language and I'm just tell the story from my perspective and go through some the thoughts that preoccupied me about the whole situation. There is no need to change the timing and rhythm because it fits the music, but I'd love some critical feedback that points out some of the weakest spots, or, potentially the whole thing. Thanks a lot 🙂

Vanguard of Innocence

Verse 1:
Days passing by,
Wishing that I knew
That things were falling down
Before you lay up there.

Floating in the air
What did you see?
Is this what you wanted?

Bridge 1:
Lost again in memory,
I wish that I had seen.
You losing the last thing
That you ever had.

Verse 2:
A stolen heart
You lost the one you loved.
Going back, I wish
That it could be undone.

Chorus:
Why did I have to be…
Couldn’t you have stayed?
Speak from the past
And rest my mind.

You know we’ll meet again
And I’ll set it right.
I pray it wasn’t me
That did -

This - in the vanguard
Of innocence.

Verse 3:
Forgiven above
Why can’t I do the same?

Chorus:
Why did I have to be…
Couldn’t you have stayed?
Speak from the past
And rest my mind.

You know we’ll meet again
And I’ll set it right.
I pray it wasn’t me
That did –

This - in the vanguard
Of innocence.