A Wondorful Blind Date....to bad I'm a shallow ****
I'm in such a happy mood today....i know im always goofy, or blissfully stupid, but today I'm geninuely happy.
And no..this is not another "sl*t" thread, or another "I f*cked three guys last night" thread...this is something I want to share with people...an experience which helped me clear my mind and open my eyes.
I have been utilizing a website called Adam4adam.com, made an account, and in like 3 days I got 60 emails..no kidding..from tons and tons of guys all over Long Island, NY. Most of them ofcourse are slutty gay guys who just want hook ups who arent interested in freindship or ne thing beyond that, so i delete a lot..
However, this one guy seemed really cool. So I decided to meet him. He didn't live to far, just a 45 min drive away.
I am not going to mention his name, or post his picture, because last time my ex bf bitched at me for posting his pic on this website and mentioning our business...also, I find that whenever I post either my pic, a pic of a bf, or something really personal, i usually get bashed for it by lonely high school outcasts on KMC...so i prefer to be a bit discreet about my business now...
He is a 37 year old Irish/Italian man....he has gorgeous blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. He is so cute..not just that, but a TOTAL sweetheart...one of the nicest people I have ever met in my entire life...so genuine, so affectionate, so non-judgemental, just a man trying to live his life with the people he cares about.
He is one of a kind...I never met a person this...i dunno...down to earth....
I can tell he really liked me...but ...I only wanted freindship and that was it. Physically, I wasn't that attracted...if he were a bit younger, and a bit buffer, I would totally want him....but his personality is so beautiful....I never met a person who was THAT nice ...EVER....its so rare ...atleast in my experience it has been.
He wasn't trying to show off, or make me feel less than he was, or challenge me, or ne thing like that. A man I never knew before last night was more supportive of me than most of the people I have in my life...
I wanted to like him...I wish I were attracted...but I'm not. Well, mentally yes, but physically I only go for certain types...why am I so ****ing shallow ????
We talked for a long time...I showed up around 9:00, and stayed until 2:00 on he morning...ofcourse I lied about where I was, told my fam I was hanging with freinds at some party...
We talked a whole lot...as if we always knew eachother, just opening up....he wanted to massage my back so I let him....then he wanted to massage my whole body lol droolio so I let him as well...and when I say whole body, I mean WHOLE BODY 😄
It didn't go ne further than that...then he just held me, and didnt let go for an hour....really romantic, but I wished I were more into it..or atleast as much as he was.
I told him I still wanna see him, but I also told him that I want to meet other guys as well...I think it hurt his feelings, because I can tell he reallly ....reallllllyyy....liked me.
I still have his #, and I told him to call me ne time he wants...he told me to let me know how the other dates go, and to come over more often. I said ofcourse.
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Why am I so shallow ? I ask myself....i hate shallow people...i hate people who judge other people by the way they look, or tear people down for being who they are....I'm such a fkn hypocrite....
He's perfect...he'd be the perfect boyfreind..he's rich, he's cute, he's genuine, he's amazing...but because he isn't this huge stud, I wasn't interested....
And what's worse is that I let him touch me...I pretty much seduced him....and for what ? I don't even know why....I'm a fkn whore and a half....
I'm tired of being a fkn sl*t, I am tired of hurting people's feelings...I'm tired of allowing my mind to be influenced by mean guys, and becoming like them...I am not like that. I'm VERY nice and freindly to people...I don't wanna hurt another person's feelings again...
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Why do we all have a tendency to be shallow ? I don't understand...
If anyone can share thier experience....anything having to do with shallowness, connecting with other people....letting amazing oppurtunities slip by...
Then reveal....
Why do we hurt people who do not deserve to be hurt ?