Jerry
Dear Me,
Gore and I arranged a special Fan Girl Day for everyone. Just to piss them all off. (especially the Pansy... after all this, I'm sure he'll be back terrorizing all again)
We've found out that they have been ad libbing every important scene(we didn't find out until yesterday when we ACTUALLY read the script.). And just to mess with the pansy's head, because he frightened me half to death.
So, here we are.
We found this... website known as KMC forums.
and we invited everyone over.
we found out Jaeh, Leo- Davenport's stalker, and Tee know them.
time to spread havoc all over the set.
Oh.. here they come.
----
Everyone: JOHNNY!!!! *rushes to Johnny's trailer and tips it over, pulls out Johnny and starts snogging him. Some climb in and get some of his personal stuff. They drag him to a private helicopter and flew away*
----
...I never expected that to be so quick.
Some were left though... One, (known as potcfan) sneaked into the Pansy's trailer and.. got... some.. err, personal effects of his. She kept shouting that she'll be giving some of them to miss swann... I also found a note saying they kidnapped him, and he won't be back until next week.
Leo kidnapped Davenport. He won't be back until next week either.
Jaeh and Tee took my laptop. I think they're going to edit the Willabeth scenes again. But, no matter what they do, *sighs* those two writers got-*grits teeth in anger*-all the-*snaps pencil and gets another one*-say in this!
Ted and Terry was found beaten half to death behind Knightley's trailer. Beside them, a note saying:
We need SPARRABETH
I doubt it'll do anything.
Everyone else is missing, except for me and Gore.
Now we could finally work on the paperwork in peace.
Will get them all back next week,
Jerry-poo
Im suddenly stricken by inspiration!
which seldom happens for POTC nowaday so sorry if i have to type...
Jerry B.
Dear me,
After that long and fateful shoot of that bloody whirlpool battle, we finally had a few days to relax.
The actors are back agan, wreaking havoc on the set. I caught the parrot and the monkey snogging- that scene would never be erased ever from my mind. Now, I could proudly say that I've seen a Parrot and a monkey snog each other to death.
All the threats from the sad-sack ceased to exist after the "fangirl" incident. HE got what he wanted. *silent moment* I say that AWE would be flop because of him... Remind me *says absent mndedly to JAeh* to throw him over board into the atlantic, will you please?
Poor Depp got back after that week, his eyes wide with fear, clothes tattered, lipstick all over his face and his hair sticking out. Serves him right! After all those stunts he and knightly did- I could never forgive him to the underwear incident!
Knightly. Wears underwear now. wanna know how i managed to make her? I THREATENED TO SUE. that's right- I DID! and it worked! YES! YES! IT WORKED!
Jaeh is now more sane- although she still mumbles to herself alot about Riley Poole, that character in that other movie-the treasure one- and she still keeps on waving that lightsaber around and stealing that hat. she and tee has stopped following depp though- they sensed the meltdown depp had coming...
Don't get me started on the two writers! teddy and terry is still at it! i had more two movies with them, and THEY ARE KILLING ME. this is insane! They're still fighting over the willabeth and the sparrabeth issue!
PS: The code to the safe is... um. I kinda lost it. I forgot.
should've just used something that'll keep it under lock and key~
Looking all over for that bloody sparrabeth key,
Jerry-poo
not funny, but i just miss it so much, so...
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I MISS YOU WERE ARE YOU COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.
Aw, I want to try one. Just a diary entry from someone involved in POTC?
Ted's diary between DMC and AWE
Dear Squishy,
If I had to pick one mistake as the biggest mistake of my life, it would be filming this maelstrom of a movie with only a minimal script. Nice alliteration. I wonder if I can use "maelstrom of a movie" in another screenplay. I must remember to discuss that with Terry. I just had to yell at Keira. We were filming the scene where she sells herself off to Sao Feng because she's mad at Will...we don't know why yet, but we know we want her to be a Pirate Lord, maybe even King if we feel ambitious. But she played it like she got kidnapped, and when we straightened her out, she looked confused. They all look confused nowadays, and here we thought Johnny was smart. They all assume we know what the hell we're doing. We don't even know how we're ending this thing! We have half our fans pushing for an ending where Will and Elizabeth get married and the other half wanting her to sail off into the sunset with Jack. I can't make decisions by myself, but I have to sound intelligent in front of Terry. He already thinks I'm batty.
Pros to marriage ending:
- possibility of sequels with very attractive children
- weddings equate to drunken debauchery in pirate times and I've betted Geoffrey Rush that I can get Orlando drunk...so far, he's winning
- Johnny can show off more of his acting ability performing the ceremony
- Orlando has been asking for "less gay" lines
Cons to marriage ending:
- Marriage? That's not much of a writing challenge.
- Keira hasn't been the same since we finally let her kiss Johnny. She's been following him around like the British follow around tea. (Is that a good simile? I'm not sure)
Pros to sailing ending:
- Writing Elizabeth and Jack as sympathetic characters after that would be a challenge
- We get to piss off Orlando
- We get to piss off Keira's mom who has a crush on Johnny also
- We get to lose the Will character
- uh, I'm going to repeat my last pro. Will is a writer's nightmare.
Cons to sailing ending:
- Might lose the younger audience demographic since they don't know what sex is
- Would piss off Gore, and we all know what happens when you piss off Gore (cough, get assigned the Bootstrap Bill subplot, cough)
- Would piss off Jerry, and we all know what happens when you piss off Jerry (will assign me and Terry to be a team on The Amazing Race)
- We would have to make press release after press release stating that Keira is of age and POTC does not endorse pedophilia.
Well, all this thinking has made my head hurt. Johnny entrusts his "stash" to me and yet wonders why more and more of it winds up gone. Poor foolish hunk.
LOL, you're awesome at this, willo!
Jerry B.
Dear Me,
After that poorly written diary entry, I'm back for more poorly written ones.
We had a meeting last night, me, ted, terry and gore. Half of us is all for the sparrabeth, as the fans call it these days, and half for the cheesiest wedding scene of all time. as we ran over the pros and cons, which 'teddy' laid down quite nicely, i can't help but wonder if we are doing it right.
But heck, what they want, we do it.
Cons of the wedding scene, which, we apparently would go with.
-Riots from fans. both from the "willabethers" and the sparrabethers. the willabethers would probably literally cry in front of us gratefully, and the sparrabethers would trash the site and rip it apart.
-The sad-sack would be found skipping for joy around the set. Imagine that, bloom, skipping around the set. Those bloody willabeth shirts, pants, and fleece underwear and buttons woud circulate again. Oh someone help us.
-I WON'T get the ending i secretly want... that sucks.
Pro's:
- the sad-sack would stop threatening everyone. not that he was a threat...
- another cross off depp's "i won" list. I knew it wouldn't last. *evil laugh*
Not a peep from the other actors- apparently exhausted from that fangirl raid we had. Except for Davenport(who had his one and only loyal fan sailor beside him) and that parrot and the monkey. They are constantly seen hanging around, occasionally, a can of pepper or cheese or paint spray in hand.
I know they're planning something huge, i just know it!
Figuring things out,
Jerry-poo
PS: bear with my entry, I had a long day today. *stares at tombstone, RIP Sparrabeth*
From Jack Davenport's diary during filming of AWE
Captain's Log (that's me trying to stay in-character)
I've received terrible news today. Gore called me into his office. That's bad enough because he has The Imperial March from Star Wars always playing at full blast. But today he sported his eyepatch and showed me the Persian cat in his arms, so I was pretty confused. Turns out, my character is going to die. I get about two scenes, maybe 10 total minutes of screentime, no scenes with Johnny, no scenes with Orlando, and not even a swordfight! I get to point my sword at Stellan...which, let's face it, everyone's been wanting to do.