Woohoo, official off-topic thread!

I'm gonna go Bruce Lee on your ass.

I'd like to see you try.

Regardless of what you do, you can't hurt me.

Yes I can.

Try it.

You can't pierce through my defense.

*Pokes eye*

That didn't hurt.

Are your eyes made of steel? O.o

😎 I have heavy duty contact lenses.

WTF?

Exactly, so poking my eyes won't do much.

You haven't hit me as yet.

I just choke-slammed you.

I meant after that.

You haven't hit me, either.

I'll feel bad if I hurt you two times in a row.

You did.

Really?

Yes.

Okay.

You're not sorry?

Not really.