I smelled the tumbleweed. I could only assume that he did it. That’s right. I said he. I saw his penis. It was larger than mine. The tumbleweed was what closed the Mongoose joint down. I hadn’t gone inside the burlesque house yet, but for one, There might be creepy bugs in there. 2, our strong man’s Ravaged corpse could be in there, and 3, I left my key in my other pair of trousers.
I heard music. It was the sound of an accordion. This diabolical tumbleweed was playing mind games with me. It hadn’t moved in 3 hours, but I knew it was up to no good. I finally swallowed my gum, and as it stuck o my throat on the way down, I swallowed my fear, and ripped that tumbleweed to shreds, and went screaming head first into the fortress. The poorly built fortress that was in the shape of Apocalypse’s head. I felt as if I had just walked into an episode of Scooby doo, for not only did I have the munchies, I saw Superguy’s skeleton in it’s usual place, gripping an accordion, some how playing music. I heard a raspy voice, and turned to my side to see Tricksterpriest on all 4’s. he kept calling me…raggy….and kept talking about…Hamster Cages, I latterly thought it was Scooby Doo, Til I saw the blue lipstick, which was a dead giveaway. And having sex right before my very eyes were two familiar faces in the guise of Daphne and Freddie, I couldn’t tell he was Freddie, The Dur expression wasn’t any help, but the ascot was a dead give away. And who would I behold would be humping my leg, but little Scrappy doo, in the guise of the local pedophile, Llagrok. Some how these people were appearing before my very eyes, which led me to believe there was a higher power at play. The higher power, in which I like to call the writer, but that’s practically breaking the fifth wall, so let’s move on.(we already bulldozed through the other 4 walls, it’s we do.)
I gazed at the shady relic that was constructed from used, wet timber, and some bent nails from the 40’s. I went up to Freddie humming a Beatles song, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just taken right out of the 60’s, the loveable mutt followed close behind, with his nametag swishing back and forth.
“Geez, Freddie, Like, what happened to this place, man?” I asked intellectually.
“My Girl Kinda broke I-” he said before, Daphne pulled on his leash, “ I Mean, the evil Goober did it! The evil goober of the west, and his little dog too!” He said
“Like, Zoinks!” I said astounded.
“You’ll need to make 3 new friends along a yellow brick road stranger, and you must find the wonderful wizard of Cresh. He’ll get you home, and he’ll tell you how your thread truly died!”
My shoes, turned into ruby high heels….they hurt like a *****.
“This road is dangerous, there’s evil Martian Munchkins, of the mysterious Elite Lollipop Guild, who’ll attack you, and Flying Smurph’s, who defy nature, and were never truly meant to fly. You’ve been warned Stranger.” And like that the Durish hermit’s leash was pulled back to the attention of Daphne, and I was left to ponder. My thought process was disrupted when I saw my sidekick, with the attention span of a moth in the corner smoking pot, and his sidekick, in another corner being anti-social. I called their attention, as we were about to embark upon a new journey. I told Trickster-Doo that the evil Goober of the West, and his little Dog too I.E Soljer, were responsible for our speakeasy’s demise. He stood up, unshaven, on his hind paws, with a rugged manicure, because he’s a man, and shouted at the top of his lungs, “WRYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!” it was so awkward and scary, that the pedophile Scrappy-Doo and I made our way out to the yellow brick road.
TBC.
Top 10 best animated movies for traumatizing American kids according to my good buddy Creshosk:
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
10. Batman mask of the phantasm. The badyguys succeed and Batman gets shot.
Jason says:
agreed
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
9. The incredibles. Pointing out that vigilantism is illegal, superheroes are vigilaties, therefore superheros are illegal.
Jason says:
😂
Jason says:
mhmmgo on..
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
8. Song of the south. Disney and racism...
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
7. Transformers the animated film. Let's watch optimus die!
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
6. The lion king. It' Hamlet, but with lions, songs by Sir Elton John and fart jokes.
Jason says:
😆
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
5. Who framed roger rabbit... Jessica rabbit.
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
that and murderous cartoons.
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
that kill real people
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
4. Cars, cause anthropomorphism of cars living as humans is kinda creepy especially when you throw in romance and don't actually have humans to explain where the other cars come from...
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
3. The hunchback of notre dame. The main character doesn't get the girl... remember I said american kids, no happy ending means they're traumatized.
Jason says:
Good point.
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
2. Watership down. This is not for kids... if you haven't seen it consider yourself lucky.
Creshosk Pethyirt Creshaurek Trill says:
1. pom poko. Magical raccoon testicles...
Originally posted by Capt Spaulding
I smelled the tumbleweed. I could only assume that he did it. That’s right. I said he. I saw his penis. It was larger than mine. The tumbleweed was what closed the Mongoose joint down. I hadn’t gone inside the burlesque house yet, but for one, There might be creepy bugs in there. 2, our strong man’s Ravaged corpse could be in there, and 3, I left my key in my other pair of trousers.
I heard music. It was the sound of an accordion. This diabolical tumbleweed was playing mind games with me. It hadn’t moved in 3 hours, but I knew it was up to no good. I finally swallowed my gum, and as it stuck o my throat on the way down, I swallowed my fear, and ripped that tumbleweed to shreds, and went screaming head first into the fortress. The poorly built fortress that was in the shape of Apocalypse’s head. I felt as if I had just walked into an episode of Scooby doo, for not only did I have the munchies, I saw Superguy’s skeleton in it’s usual place, gripping an accordion, some how playing music. I heard a raspy voice, and turned to my side to see Tricksterpriest on all 4’s. he kept calling me…raggy….and kept talking about…Hamster Cages, I latterly thought it was Scooby Doo, Til I saw the blue lipstick, which was a dead giveaway. And having sex right before my very eyes were two familiar faces in the guise of Daphne and Freddie, I couldn’t tell he was Freddie, The Dur expression wasn’t any help, but the ascot was a dead give away. And who would I behold would be humping my leg, but little Scrappy doo, in the guise of the local pedophile, Llagrok. Some how these people were appearing before my very eyes, which led me to believe there was a higher power at play. The higher power, in which I like to call the writer, but that’s practically breaking the fifth wall, so let’s move on.(we already bulldozed through the other 4 walls, it’s we do.)
I gazed at the shady relic that was constructed from used, wet timber, and some bent nails from the 40’s. I went up to Freddie humming a Beatles song, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just taken right out of the 60’s, the loveable mutt followed close behind, with his nametag swishing back and forth.“Geez, Freddie, Like, what happened to this place, man?” I asked intellectually.
“My Girl Kinda broke I-” he said before, Daphne pulled on his leash, “ I Mean, the evil Goober did it! The evil goober of the west, and his little dog too!” He said
“Like, Zoinks!” I said astounded.
“You’ll need to make 3 new friends along a yellow brick road stranger, and you must find the wonderful wizard of Cresh. He’ll get you home, and he’ll tell you how your thread truly died!”
My shoes, turned into ruby high heels….they hurt like a *****.
“This road is dangerous, there’s evil Martian Munchkins, of the mysterious Elite Lollipop Guild, who’ll attack you, and Flying Smurph’s, who defy nature, and were never truly meant to fly. You’ve been warned Stranger.” And like that the Durish hermit’s leash was pulled back to the attention of Daphne, and I was left to ponder. My thought process was disrupted when I saw my sidekick, with the attention span of a moth in the corner smoking pot, and his sidekick, in another corner being anti-social. I called their attention, as we were about to embark upon a new journey. I told Trickster-Doo that the evil Goober of the West, and his little Dog too I.E Soljer, were responsible for our speakeasy’s demise. He stood up, unshaven, on his hind paws, with a rugged manicure, because he’s a man, and shouted at the top of his lungs, “WRYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!” it was so awkward and scary, that the pedophile Scrappy-Doo and I made our way out to the yellow brick road.TBC.
baha