I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.
Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
Originally posted by VathuI believe that first one is Emo Phillips
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.