maybe

Started by Punkyhermy2 pages

maybe

Glistened cheek with its drops like liquid
Slide and itch.

Nail. Embossed bath tissue stuck.
Threadbare, filmy. Ripped.

Thud thud, look.
Sing. Collide blocks that build.

Julia. Maybe amazed lets it be.
Kissing kisslessly.

whoa, riveting and haunting, nice. 😄

aw thank you.😄

...

sweats haphazardly cut
cover the ass.legs,
Shine white. Whiter than
The wall divided.

sunshine yellow flats
Not for ballet. Scarlet
Camels walk the feet
On marble as white.

B. bold and red. outlined
white. Evening blue that
Hides eyes.not lips fuzzy
Edged and pink that
Move in rhythm.

short and sweet, succinct yet detailed.

i like it 🙂 the style is cool ✅ the imagery is very clear

😛 the first stanza is best i think ✅

aww thanks kev!😊

i'm glad you liked.😄

i see😛
thanks for reading!🙂

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
i see😛
thanks for reading!🙂

anytime dahling 😊

Simple, but beautiful.

Nice work, Punky! 🙂

Originally posted by Roulette
Simple, but beautiful.

Nice work, Punky! 🙂

thanks sweetie.😊

btw. batman love!!!

😱

Welcomes! ^-^

Haha. 😄 Yay for The Bat! Can't wait for The Dark Knight. *Claps loudly*

😄

I knowww!!
😱

dancing

Comes out in July, right? Crapz, I wish it was July. 🙁

I don't want to seem like the sour apple here but I think your poetry lacks...I don't...that little something something that lets the reader know what the poems about.

The first poem left me with a nagging of a girl getting ready for a date. I wasn't so sure the imagery painted something, that though was a stretch.

The second poem reminded me of articles in papers and magazines. Now for this I am positive was not the intention of the poem. The stanza's don't seem to flow to form one coherent image and/or story, which makes it very confusing to determine what it is your trying to say. Maybe a title will make it easier to see what it is you are trying to write.

That's my two cents.

The thing is tho AOR, my poems were meant to be of abstract nature. It is SUPPOSED to be up to the reader to make of them what he will. This isn't a flaw just another style of composing poems.

I didn’t hear the wind
That threw to the worn
Out parquet white
Sheets faced down.

Blank rectangles of
Whiteness at my
Chilled feet
Lay threatened
To forever stay.

But I was looking
at the distance
as Murkyness
dubbed it unseen.

dont likee youur sdtuff rely

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
I didn’t hear the wind
That threw to the worn
Out parquet white
Sheets faced down.

Blank rectangles of
Whiteness at my
Chilled feet
Lay threatened
To forever stay.

But I was looking
at the distance
as Murkyness
dubbed it unseen.


haha, i like 😛

the subject seems so very simple and random 😄

Originally posted by Mr. Bacon
haha, i like 😛

the subject seems so very simple and random 😄

I;m glad.😊

it is. it was written really quick😛