Scenario Time!

Guys

You're in your living room on your couch, and right next to you is your lady. But not just any lady, the women of your dreams. Perfect in every way, and she's crazy about you. You guys are about to get it on on your couch when suddenly a masked man jumps through your window, kicks your women straight up into the air, jumps into the air and then piledrives her into the ground while screaming "Extreme Lotus", all before you can even get up. Then the masked man pulls off his mask and it turns out that it's Roland.

What would you do?

Gals

Same thing, but instead it's your perfect man that gets pizzowned.

Since I piledrived the woman, I would have sex with her, then jump back out the window. haermm

Bumbs!!!!!!!!!

I would've shaved his face off. But then again, he's like that killer form TCM, he'll come back.

Roland would get a beatdown. Women suck, so if mine was perfect I'd have to take off his nuts as a tribute.

Or if she wasn't hurt I'd probably lol, then give him a high-five and make him pay for the window.

i'd tape him to a chair, then let my wife shave his balls off, SLOWLY.

I be like, wtf??? noway

I'd be like what the ****... i don't even know roland, and i doubt he'd come anywhere near alaska... cuz alaska sucks. and then i'd ****ing kamehameha him. and he'd be like "his power level is above 9000." then I be like hey im not really in the mood right now ( because using the kamehameha makes unhorny.) then we'd fly to namek and he'd be like frieza made me do it. and id be like ok i forgive you. then ****ing go super saiyan and kill frieza. Then resurrect roland using the 7 mystical penguin balls. but later he'd repay me by killing a bunch of people. cuz hes somewhat possessed by an evil wizard. but it really doesn't matter cuz we still got the ostrich balls.

BTW is roland your real name or is it just a dark tower referance

Roland's head would be off so fast that I would get paid everytime I told the story about it.

I don' tget it 🙁

I'd pimpsmackm him so hard his 'hos' and his mom will feel it.

Originally posted by DanZeke25
Roland's head would be off so fast that I would get paid everytime I told the story about it.

New scenario 13

It turns out that a plane carrying approximately 200 school children (Ages 6-30) and staff, including the pilots, has reported that it's suffered a serious malfunction and it is locked in flying in one direction. It is flying over San Francisco (I was gonna put New Jersey but no one cares about New Jersey.. so eh.) and the San Francisco Airport has tracked the Airplanes trajectory. If the malfunction isn't fixed, it's going to fly into a crowded School filled with two thousand children ages 6-17. The Plane will collide with the School in thirty seconds, not enough time to evacuate the school.

For irrelevant reasons, an anti-air Missile is stationed only a mile away from the School. You are the penultimate guy who is in charge of the missile and can order it to be fired at any minute, so the choice is on you. The Pilot of the plane radios in that he thinks there is a POSSIBLE way to fix the Plane in time to avoid crashing into the building. Right before he tells you what the plan is the radio cuts out.

So you are left with an ultimatum. Either order the missile to be fired and it will destroy the plane in time to save the children in the School, or trust the pilot to fix the plane and save everyone.. or trust him, and watch as he fails and the plane crashes into the building, killing everyone. You have twenty seconds to decide before the plane reaches the "no turning back zone", were neither the missile nor the pilot can keep the Plane from hitting the plane. What do you decide to do?

*waits for the pictures of the "I ain't reading all that shit" pictures*

I'd call Roland to rape everyone.

I'd wait until the plane was at the no turning back zone, then fire the missle with a post-it note reading: lol sry

And for that.. I love you.

i wouldnt care since im not into guys....

..

What's that got to do with anything?