Where's everyone been? Surely, a lot has been going on since the "paintball incident."
(Will and Elizabeth are out at a fancy restaurant looking like they are dreading something. They are sitting next to each other in a booth, the one across from them empty)
Will: So...why again did you just call up James out of the blue?
Elizabeth: I know, it was stupid. We were just talking that we haven't seen him for a while and with Jack taking Katie out to Vermont for apple picking...which I think is code for something else...we needed a couple to hang out with.
Will: Elizabeth, we could have come here ourselves.
Elizabeth: No! No, we couldn't have. This is the most expensive restaurant in town and we need James to be here so you can do the "well I have to go to the bathroom" trick to get out of picking up the check. (pauses) You're right. Next time we go out, it will be just us and we'll go to the Olive Garden.
Will: Oh! The never ending pasta bowl is back!
(Just as they begin to chit chat, James and Sailor, dolled up in a very revealing outfit, saunter up)
James: Will! Elizabeth! It's been too long. You guys remember Sailor. (whispers to them) She's my groupie.
Sailor: This is a pleasure! I know all about your adventures and Will, I ordered your book off of amazon and the dvd is far above my expectations minus a commentary.
(they sit)
Will: There's no commentary on the dvd?
Elizabeth: Two whole discs and no commentary?
Sailor: That's what me and my friends have been discussing...when I'm not too busy with Jamiewigs here. (they Eskimo kiss)
Elizabeth: That so, Jamiewigs?
James: Ahem, (becoming very stiff and formal) Sailor, my dear, to whom are you addressing such a ridiculous pet name?
Sailor: Oh! Shhh, I'll play along.
James: Right...so, how is you two's son?
Will: Junior is doing fantastic! Smart as a whip, loves to play, well behaved.
Elizabeth: Now knows how to hotwire a car. We practised on Ted Elliot's Bentley.
Will: Plus the way he can wield Michelle tells us he's going to be quite the unstoppable force.
Sailor: He sounds so great! Oh, I can't wait till we have kids.
James: Hold on to that thought. (he leers at her when the waitress pops up. He's not looking at the waitress.) Oh, uh, scotch on the rocks my good man.
Tina: A good man wouldn't spit in your appetizer, sir.
James: (seeing it's a woman waiting on them) Oh! My apologies. I was lost in my lover's eyes.
Elizabeth: So, Sailor, I here you draw quite a bit. I saw some scans of your POTC4 characters. Very pretty.
Sailor: Oh thank you. It's a hobby that I hope will turn into more.
James: She's just so talented! (gushes praise)
(Will and Elizabeth give each other a "how soon will this be over look."😉
About an hour later,
James: And then, Sailor says to Barbossa, "Well, we have a ship for you too. We call it tiabossa." And guess who that's supposed to be?
Will: Let me guess: Tia and Barbossa?
James: Tia and Barbossa! (slaps his knee) She's a riot this one! (kisses her)
Elizabeth: (whispers to Will) We are never going out with a couple still in puppy love ever again.
Will: Here here.
James: What?
Will: Here, here...is where I gave Junior the Heimlich Maneuver once.
Sailor: So where is Jack? A lot of girls I know were hoping I'd be able to get a picture with him.
Elizabeth: Jack is out of town for the weekend.
James: With Kate Beckinsale, I've heard. I'm sure an A-list celebrity like her will keep him out of trouble.
(Will and Elizabeth exchange another look)
James: Do you hang out with Jack much?
Will: Oh...(shakes head) No, not so much anymore. We're married and have our son to raise and we both work quite heavily...
Elizabeth: Not to mention the lawsuit's now over and we have Gibbs and Barbossa if Junior needs a sitter...(bites her lip nervously)
Sailor: You know who you guys would really like? Ariel and Eric. She used to be a mermaid. They're quite the power couple.
James: Delightful. She's so charming and he's quite the knowledgable sailor himself. We had tons to talk about.
Elizabeth: You'll have to introduce us sometime.
(Will sees the check is about to come)
Will: Well, I have to go drain the lizard. Excuse me, please.
(The waitress puts the check on the table)
James: Well, I guess I'll pick it up.
Elizabeth: (playing along) Oh no, you don't have to do that.
James: I insist. It's not every day Sailor and I get to meet up with old friends and catch up on old times. Sailor, my love, did you know Will and I once sword fought on a wheel?
Sailor: I've replayed that scene again and again and again.
Elizabeth: On the dvd?
Sailor: (gazing at James) And in my dreams.
(Will returns)
Will: So, I guess it's about time for the check wouldn't you say?
Sailor: We're paying tonight, Will.
Will: Oh! How generous! It's so nice to get to see you again, James, and Sailor, you are a delight. (he and Elizabeth rise to leave)
James: (also rising and putting Sailor's coat on her) We were wondering, if it's not too late for you two, if you'd like to come to the club with us. Sailor has introduced me to the world of clubbing and it is so amazing.
Will: Clubbing?
Elizabeth: Well, it is a little late for us and, and...
Will: (blurts) Elizabeth and I spend our nights trying to make another baby.
Sailor (squeals) Oh! That's so exciting!!! I'll have to tell everyone!!! You'll have to come to the forum so we can give you a shower!
James: I hope it all works out. (kisses Elizabeth on the cheek and shakes Will's hand) Night!
(Will and Elizabeth walking one way)
Elizabeth: Were you serious?
Will: Well, it was just to get away, but the more I think about it... do you want to?
Elizabeth: (seeming eager) Do you want to?
Will: I'll drive us home quickly.
Elizabeth: Will. (waits for him to look at her) You don't have to take the car directly home, you know...
(Will gets what's she's saying and grins)
(James and Sailor walk another way)
James: Do you buy that they want another baby?
Sailor: I'm not sure. Besides, I know something you don't know.
James: What's that?
Sailor: They said they didn't hang out with Jack anymore, but did you see their husband/wife pins?
James: Oh, those little cheesy buttons they have pinned on that say, "My son is an Honors Pirate"?
Sailor: The fine print at the bottom says, "Happy Anniversary, Jack."
James: Those cads! They lie to our faces! And Jack gets them cheap buttons for their anniversary?
(Far off in a distant Vermont apple orchard)
Jack: (picking apples off a tree with Katie) Bugger.
Katie: What's wrong?
Jack: I got the sudden feeling I should have gotten Will and Lizzie more than those cheap buttons for their anniversary.
Katie: Is everything all right?
Jack: Everything's fine. Just got a sudden shiver.