Got mugged? Kram3r did.
It was a bit of a Saturday evening when I was with me mate and we were walking back to his place after going to his work party at the North Ryde RSL (Bit of alright; dunt eat the food). Anyway, I got a bit of me ass drunk and we was walking for a bit with these other blokes. Anyway, they're all more drunk than me and my friend is all shits and giggles because the bloke ain't even 18 so he ain't drunk. The blokes are all "MATES LETS TAKE OFF OUR SHIRTS, ****ING HOT OUTSIDE, ****ING GOT ALL THIS ****ING SWEAT ON MY SHIRT". So I'm like "A bit of alright! I'll take off me shirt!!!".
So you have 5 topless blokes walking Parramatta road or some ****ing road screaming out Mother****er at cars and yelling out Harry Potter because that's who my mate looks like. So we're all haermm and crylaugh that and it's a pretty good mother****ing time down in ol' Sydney town. Anyway, the blokes get a lift because they're going to the Bottle O to get some drinks and crash a mate's house so my mate and I keep walking.
About five minutes later some cunts come around the ****ing corner and are all "OI, WHY THE **** YOU SCREAMING FOR 'EY!?" and we're all like "Oh, a bit of sorry mate" and then they're like "PUT YOUR ****ING SHIRTS BACK ON!!! NOW!!!" and we're like "YEAH A BIT OF CALM DOWN MATE, PUTTING 'EM SHIRTS BACK ON!" and then my friend managed to get a bit of a safe distance but the ****ers got me in a mother****ing headlock and then the other ********** is all "GIVE ME YOUR PHONE AND YOUR WALLET!" and I'm like "MATE, CAN I KEEP MY PHOTO ID?" and he's like "**** GIVE US YOUR ****ING PHONE AND WALLET" so I'm all "****, TAKE IT!" and then out of no where
BAM!
Mother****er smashed a beer bottle on me head, just like that. So I get out of it alright and ****ing Lad cunts only got $20 and a phone that's worth half as much. I got a bit of a sore head a 15-20 small cuts due to shrapnel. Other than that, I'm a bit of alright. Cancelled me debit card and got myself another dodgy phone.
Funny thing about it was, that all I could think about was how fat the other **** was, I mean, like Jesus lose some weight or something.
BTW, despite the comical apporach, this actually happened (except for me think about how fat the lad **** was, although he was fat). It was a lot more serious and scary than it's made out to be. Also, for the record, yes, I am a bit of alright. mmm