Ryu Hayabusa vs. Tekken
- Ryu would strip Kunimitsu and tell her she'll never be the kunoichi Kasumi is.
- Ryu would one shot Alex in the way of Jann Lee.
- Ryu would take off King's mask and yank his nose.
- Ryu would send Baek Doo San back into a coma for eternity.
- Ryu would beat the shit out of Bruce Irvin.
- Ryu would show Bryan Fury how it feels to be kamehameha'd.
- Ryu would push a button on the back of JACK-5's head turning him off.
- Ryu would have Devil Jin's wings for dinner.
- Ryu would throw mints in Dr. Boskonovitch's mouth.
- Ryu would be challenged by Eddy to a breakdancing match and Eddy would get served.
- Ryu would rape Anna in the butt.
- Ryu would rape Nina in the butt.
- Ryu would slap Christie and play baseball with her legs.
- Ryu would speedblitz Martial Law and tell him he'll never me the kung fu artist Bruce Lee is.
- Ryu would punch Ganryu in the balls and THEN in the gut.
- Ryu would play beach volleyball with the DOA chicks using Gon.
- Ryu would tell Heihachi to "act his age" and the fvcker would die.
- Ryu would rinse Hwoarang's dye out and then dye it again with Hwoarang's blood.
- Ryu would have sex with Julia and tell her she's nothing but a Chinese ho because her last name is "Chang".
- Ryu would give Jun another baby and tell her she was almost as good as Tifa.
- Ryu would dropkick Kazuya and tell him to never approach him with hair like that again.
- Ryu would tell Kuma that Panda doesn't like him, causing Kuma to forfeit.
- Ryu would tell Panda that Kuma thinks she's ugly, causing her to forfeit.
- Ryu would kick Lee Chaolan in the face and tell him to never wear tights or say "KAMOON" in a match again.
- Ryu would steal Lei's gun and tell him he'll never be the Hong Kong detective Jackie Chan is, shattering Lei's dream of replacing Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 4.
- Ryu would make Xiaoyu scream and tell her she's somewhat less of a ho than Julia Chang is.
- Ryu would make a collection of wooden swords out of Mokujin.
- Ryu would disarm Ogre of his shield and proceed to beat him with it Captain America style.
- Ryu would choke True Ogre's cobra/left hand and make him suffocate.
- Ryu would slice off Paul's hair causing Paul to forfeit.
- Ryu would snatch Roger Jr.'s gloves and punt him 100 meters away.
- Ryu would play bowling with Marduk's head.
- Ryu would poke Wang Jinrei in the back causing him to die.
- Ryu would tool Yoshimitsu and tell him to stop wearing a new costume every other day.
- Ryu would give Raven a tutorial and then b*tchlap him back to Africa.
- Ryu would beat the snot out of Steve Fox and then teleport him back to Britain.
- Ryu would take off Asuka's bra and do what a typical horny man would do.
- Ryu would rinse out Jinpachi's mouth with a garden hose.
- Ryu would tell Jin Kazama "Your jobber aura can't save you now...MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
Ryu Hayabusa wins.