Gasp! Okay, Kate. I'll let you tackle the "treasure." I have some things to fix on the boring end...I mean, the Will end.
(On the submarine. Will is watching some crewmen playing gin.)
Bootstrap: Trying to play?
Will: And how. (to them) Deal me in! And deal in Davy Jones as well.
Davy: (enters) You called?
Will: Let's make it interesting, drugstore cowboy. I win, I get the key that unlocks your swingin' love song to your bearcat.
Davy: (seething) And should you lose, you filthy, slimy pushover?
Will: You get me, a whole life of serving you. What do you say to that?
Davy: Pet me! (but is dealt into the game)
Bootstrap: Wait! Deal me in too. Same stakes: my life instead of Will's if he loses.
(They play.)
Bootstrap: Gin!
Davy: You liar! Let me see that. (smacks Bootstrap's cards out of his hands and finds an ace up his sleeve) Well, well, well, game's over. Will Turner, you can go back to the land...if we decide to make port. Guess you'll just have to scratch out your stories on my sub's walls. (laughs and exits)
Will: (to Bootstrap) You idiot! Is no one home up there? It wasn't about winning or losing.
Bootstrap: (thinks) The key?
Will: Now he's catching on. Didn't you see that his eyes rested on his pocket when I mentioned the key? That's where it is!
CUT TO...Davy's cabin
(Davy is fast asleep in his bed. Will sneaks in. He pickpockets the key and tiptoes out of the cabin.)
CUT TO...interior of the sub.
(Bootstrap is commanding the sub. He has it surface briefly. Will comes up to him.)
Will: I got it! This is just the berries! I can't wait to hear that song and see him cry like a little girl.
Bootstrap: Sounds like a plan, kiddo. Here, take this. (hands him his knife)
Will: Ritzy. But won't you need it? You didn't have to help me.
Bootstrap: Don't be a sap. They can't do anything else to me. Go now. Go save your girl and put an end to this mobster. (Will gets ready to go, but Bootstrap pulls him back and hugs him) You're a swell kid, Will. (Will leaves and Bootstrap calls after him) Don't take any wooden nickels!
LOL i feel LOST...
Cut to Will on the deck of a small fishing freighter off the coast. Onboard are a rowdy crew of partially drunk fishermen.
Bellamy: (eyeing Will dubiously) So... last you remember you were in Tortuga Joe's, and then you find yourself here in the middle of the puddle?
Will: That's about right.
Bellamy: Sounds like you had a hell of a night, kid. And more than one soggy cracker. The hooch aint what it used to be.
Will: Anyhow let's book it to shore before I wind up in Belize.
Bellamy: Not so fast, mister. We've got a cargo of fish to drop.
Will: Fish?
Bellamy: (stepping in front of a load of booze) Yeah, fish. Ever since old Beckett took the macho seat we've had to light it up, just to make ends meet.
Crewman: (runs up from the wheel) radar's showing some risky business on the ribbon, sir.
Bellamy: Applesauce. Get me a ciggy and the kid a pair of suspenders.
Crewman: Ain't like that. We're talking big guns.
Will: Jones.
Bellamy: Jones?
Will: Yeah, the Squid. It's possible he's after me, and likely he'll blow this freighter to 1930 just in case I'm on it.
Bellamy: Run up the Swiss flag, boys! We've got a submarine to tank!
Suddenly, the Sub surfaces and a massive underwater torpedo lets loose, heading straight for Bellamy's boat.
Bellamy: Holy moly! What kind of torpedos are those?!
One blows up a few hundred feet away, creating a small tidal wave and destroying half the ship.
Bellamy: Not the dreaded K.R.A.K.E.N. torps?! I thought those were only available in Europe!
Will: Looks like we're in for a doozy.
Another torpedo strikes, and the ship begins to sink. Crewmembers dive into the water frantically as the Sub gets closer.
Bellamy: (watching all the liqueur go under) Damn! (grabs a flotation device and begins paddling away)
Will: (getting an idea, he swims to a floating crate of the hooch, pries the lid off, and slithers inside.)
In the command center of the Sub, Jones and his gang are smoking cigars and celebrating.
Gang member: If that sorry sheik was on there, he's not anymore!
Jones: I do love the smell of destruction in the morning.
Meanwhile, Bootstrap is plotting courses, sweating and looking worried and upset. He spies the floating crate of booze and a thought strikes him.
Bootstrap: Hey boys! We're in luck!
Jones: Hardly an appropriate way to mourn your son's passing.
Bootstrap: Something to soften the blow, sir. (points to the radar screen) Looks like they left us a present.
Jones: Send someone up top to bring it in. (rubs his hands together) It's been a long day...
I love the line "holy moly." So glad you remembered dear old Bellamy, God rest his soul. K.R.A.K.E.N? Love it!
CUT TO... Jack, Liz, Norrington, Pintel, and Ragetti leaving a longboat and coming up to an island. Pintel and Ragetti are minding the boat.
Pintel: What you suppose the song is that's in the chest?
Ragetti: Chest?
Pintel: What they're digging up.
Ragetti: Oh. I had forgotten. (thinks) Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey?
(Norrington is the only one digging. Jack and Liz watch from opposite sides.)
Norrington: I've hit something!
(They all scramble and lift up a small chest. They break the locks and sort through some of the junk in the chest...love notes, an old photograph, some costume jewelry.)
Liz: Look! (picks up some sheet music and begins to sing it) There's a somebody I'm longing to see/I hope that he turns out to be/someone to watch over me.
Norrington: It's real. You were telling the truth.
Jack: Naturally. You don't think I spin these yarns for the fun of it, do ye?
Will's voice: (off-screen) You high-button hayburner!
Liz: Will! I thought you had gotten bumped off! (kisses him awkwardly)
Jack: How did you get here?
Will: Turkey vultures. Oh, and I met my father on the Dutchman...after you abandoned me, you ossified palooka! Put 'em up!
Liz: Wait, wait, wait...you abandoned him?
Jack: Yeah.
Will: And I met my father, did I mention that?
Liz: (to Jack) You lied to me?
Jack: Right again!
(Will goes to the chest and begins to gather up the sheet music. Jack pulls a gun on him.)
Jack: Just what do you think you're doing?
You're up, Kate!
Okay, up to me...
Will: I'm taking this song and singing it to the Squid. I'm no Bessie Smith, but I can croon just a little. Allow me to demonstrate...
(Jack lunges forward and points the barrel of the gun into Will's neck.)
Jack: Can't let you do that, pal. You bump off old Davy and then who's going to see to it no K.R.A.K.E.N.s blow me to smithereens?
Norrington: (pulls out a knife and surprises Jack, who drops his gun. Jack whips out his knife instead) I'm afraid I have to be the one to take that song, gentlemen. Got no beef with ya, just going back in Beckett's good graces.
(They all begin to fight. Elizabeth watches.)
Elizabeth: Well this is just the cat's meow! Fighting! You know this isn't solving anything? (they pay no attention to her) Um...hey! Hey, guys! Check out these gams! (She exposes her legs in a sexy manner, but they pay no attention) Fine!
(She lights a cigarette and watches the fight until she catches Pintel and Ragetti running off with the chest.)
Elizabeth: Applesauce. (runs after them)
(The guys continue to fight, running deeper into the island and inside the ruins of an old church. The key changes hands many times. Finally, Norrington corners Jack. Will joins up with them.)
Will: (out of breath) I'll just let you finish him off, sound good?
Norrington: With pleasure!
Jack: Pipe down now! I don't think you want to be doing that.
Norrington: I think I do. (has his knife at Jack's throat)
Jack: I would think you'd want to bump off the pill that stole your girl, leaving you out to dry in your glad rags, not to mention eventually leading to you becoming just another mobster in need of a job and a haircut.
Norrington: Enough! (shoves Jack so he falls down, but at enough distance to get away) Unfortunately, Mr. Turner...he's right! (Norrington turns on Will)
(Norrington and Will fight. Jack for the moment, has the key.)
CUT TO...Elizabeth
(Elizabeth runs after Pintel and Ragetti, her own knife drawn. She heads them off at the pass.)
Elizabeth: End of the line, boys.
Pintel: (he and Ragetti draw knives) Don't think so, doll!
(Before they can turn on her, Jones' men come running up behind them. Elizabeth, Pintel, and Ragetti fight them off, Elizabeth doing most of the work. Before long, she is the only one fighting and Pintel and Ragetti have the chest again.)
(They start to laugh at their success, but some more crewmen come up. As they run from them, they drop the chest. Jack sees this.)
(Jack runs to the chest and packs up the song, heading back to the beach with everyone else.)
Okay, NOW will someone continue? Good parts are on their way...