(Ian looked up at the sky and sighed. "Dammit. I knew I was late!" He took out a gun to shoot himself but ended up dying in fits of coughing and being sick. He was found sometime later by the local authorities who immediately put a call out to any passing transport to pick up the pile of puke at the coordinates they enclosed and dump it into the nearest star or reputable black hole. Unfortunately no-one answered. 😄)