A question for the masses

This is going to be a relationship question kinda thingie... Anyway I got this neighbor and I found her sweet, nice, homely and yadda yadda. We hung out many times. We went out to eat, cooked at her palce, watched tv, just hung out. I thought we were great with each other. So on V-day (yeah i know its been a long time but i just started thinking about the situation again anyways...) I sent her a card and some hot chocolate and marshmellows. It was not professing my love but it was subtle like , "i kinda like you" "would like to get to know you better" kinda like that. She did say the other day she didn't have a Valentine and maybe I thought that was a clue or something. So your all wondering what happened after that. By the way i did not give it to her in person. Since that day she has slowly acted more cold toward me i.e. avoiding me, not saying hello (most of the time), just pretty much closing all contact with me. So here is my question. Its's obvious she doesn't see me the way i see her; but Ive accepted that but can I still be friends with her? Should I bother? What should I say if I do confront her? Will confronting her do anything? This is my 1st thread on this Off-Topic Forum, be nice please 😄

you should tie her up and rape her

Originally posted by Lord Feron
This is going to be a relationship question kinda thingie... Anyway I got this neighbor and I found her sweet, nice, homely and yadda yadda. We hung out many times. We went out to eat, cooked at her palce, watched tv, just hung out. I thought we were great with each other. So on V-day (yeah i know its been a long time but i just started thinking about the situation again anyways...) I sent her a card and some hot chocolate and marshmellows. It was not professing my love but it was subtle like , "i kinda like you" "would like to get to know you better" kinda like that. She did say the other day she didn't have a Valentine and maybe I thought that was a clue or something. So your all wondering what happened after that. By the way i did not give it to her in person. Since that day she has slowly acted more cold toward me i.e. avoiding me, not saying hello (most of the time), just pretty much closing all contact with me. So here is my question. Its's obvious she doesn't see me the way i see her; but Ive accepted that but can I still be friends with her? Should I bother? What should I say if I do confront her? Will confronting her do anything? This is my 1st thread on this Off-Topic Forum, be nice please 😄

Just stay friends with her.

Eventually, she might develop feelings for you.

As of right now we aren't really friends.

I think you should confront her about why she is avoiding you and make sure that she understands how you feel about her and let her know that if she doesn't like you in a boyfriend kind of way that it's okay with you and that you still want her as a friend.

Being friends is fine its just that I don't even have that anymore.

wow! it's gotten that bad? I would confront her

Originally posted by Lord Feron
As of right now we aren't really friends.

In that case, confront her.

Drop her off in the middle of nowhere and leave her for dead.

Originally posted by gefallen_engel
I think you should confront her about why she is avoiding you and make sure that she understands how you feel about her and let her know that if she doesn't like you in a boyfriend kind of way that it's okay with you and that you still want her as a friend.

what should i say like "whats yup with not saying hello anymore was it b/c of V-day...." Even on IM she always says "sorry im signing of" like all the time its ****ing annoying so for the past couple of weeks I just blocked her. I'm not even sure how I should go about confronting her.

HAha all the evil deeds ppl are telling me. She is my neighbor and I harbor no ill will toward her, just some explanation.

Just tell her you want to know why she is avoiding you, what she thinks you did wrong, you deserve an explanation

So knock on her door and say "can we talk?" Should I call her? I was hoping maybe i can do it over the phone but that might not seem sincere but i think im too much of a chicken to do it in person. What would yeild the best result?

It probably would be better to do it in person. But I would do it over the phone cuz I'm a chicken too.

What im wondering if I go though all this trouble of getting the courage and asking her and having one of the most socially uncomfortable situations in my life will I benefit from it at all? Will the answer I get satisfy me and I can go on peacefully. Or will it continue to bother me and she will continue to act like she is acting now. Is there any way for a girl to be friendly again? THrough what has happened I have spoken to a girl who was in her position and she says the guy and her are no longer friends. So is it worth it, i may never know but it can't get any worse then now right??? So might as well right?

I feel you have nothing to lose, who knows things might get better. Only you can answer the question of wether or not to do it. If things don't get better then it's her loss.

awesome

Ugh i think deep down I knew I had to have a talk with her I just wanted to see if there was a better alternative. I do like the idea of "can't get worse then this" mentality kinda takes a edge off it. Arggh I don't wanna do this but I think i really really should so I will. I think my self-esteem is gonna be on the chopping block tonight lol. Thanks for the advice Gefallen and Yoshi.

hey no problem. Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.

Originally posted by Lord Feron
This is going to be a relationship question kinda thingie... Anyway I got this neighbor and I found her sweet, nice, homely and yadda yadda. We hung out many times. We went out to eat, cooked at her palce, watched tv, just hung out. I thought we were great with each other. So on V-day (yeah i know its been a long time but i just started thinking about the situation again anyways...) I sent her a card and some hot chocolate and marshmellows. It was not professing my love but it was subtle like , "i kinda like you" "would like to get to know you better" kinda like that. She did say the other day she didn't have a Valentine and maybe I thought that was a clue or something. So your all wondering what happened after that. By the way i did not give it to her in person. Since that day she has slowly acted more cold toward me i.e. avoiding me, not saying hello (most of the time), just pretty much closing all contact with me. So here is my question. Its's obvious she doesn't see me the way i see her; but Ive accepted that but can I still be friends with her? Should I bother? What should I say if I do confront her? Will confronting her do anything? This is my 1st thread on this Off-Topic Forum, be nice please 😄

I guess the only thing one can do is bring it up in a conversation. I think one would have to do it in person, because otherwise she/they might not give you an honest answer, either for fear of hurting your feelings or something else.