Ss & Rj's Project Mayhem!!!

Started by P23918 pages

Originally posted by P23
A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?

The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

😆

how many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

one
he holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around him 😐

Originally posted by Because I can
how many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

all my personalities.

How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

Originally posted by ~Wålshy~
How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.


lol
😊

What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Maddie McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril,and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He was gourgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman,and whispers: "Iron

Originally posted by ~Wålshy~
What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Maddie McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.

Ha, best non-pc joke ever.

i got touched by the Pope

Down Under 😐

Originally posted by dadudemon
I think it's hot that you weld.

How YOU doin' you hot sexy momma?

aww, and I wasnt here 🙁

I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.

So I pushed the old **** over

Originally posted by ~Wålshy~
I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.

So I pushed the old **** over

an atm machine?

Originally posted by P23
an atm machine?
aweawe awe totally mahn

Originally posted by gefallen_engel
aww, and I wasnt here 🙁

*smacks ass*

313

Originally posted by dadudemon
*smacks ass*

313

Hi there.

Originally posted by Sol Valentine
Hi there.

Sup, dude.

So, at Pole Position, yesterday, I had to suck it up BIIIIG time. I was stuck behind a very very large fat guy and the director dude kept waiving the flag for "let the person behind you pass" but he didn't listen so I got stuck behind him waiting to pass him...then, we got stuck behind this really really slow lady for two laps which REALLY sucked. While trying to pass her, she stopped, I got stuck behind her, my brother passed me, then I passed her, then for the last three laps, we got to go as fast as we wanted. It was great! If I could have done all of my laps like the last three, I would have gotten into the top 1% of all races ever run. That would have been awesome.

My brother had a better average lap time than me... 🙁 I also weigh more than 20 pounds than he does, though.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Sup, dude.

So, at Pole Position, yesterday, I had to suck it up BIIIIG time. I was stuck behind a very very large fat guy and the director dude kept waiving the flag for "let the person behind you pass" but he didn't listen so I got stuck behind him waiting to pass him...then, we got stuck behind this really really slow lady for two laps which REALLY sucked. While trying to pass her, she stopped, I got stuck behind her, my brother passed me, then I passed her, then for the last three laps, we got to go as fast as we wanted. It was great! If I could have done all of my laps like the last three, I would have gotten into the top 1% of all races ever run. That would have been awesome.

My brother had a better average lap time than me... 🙁 I also weigh more than 20 pounds than he does, though.

Awwww.

Workout more! 😠

Originally posted by Sol Valentine
Awwww.

Workout more! 😠

True. 🙁

True true true true....

🙁

I could walk around, extremely ripped, if I lost 20 lbs of body fat. I'd be around 3-4% bodyfat.

I work out in about 30 minutes.

BTW, the carts go REALLY fast. The fastest I've ever ridden. It was scary how fast they could go when they "flipped the switch" to make them go all out. I couldn't believe it.

Originally posted by dadudemon
True. 🙁

True true true true....

🙁

I could walk around, extremely ripped, if I lost 20 lbs of body fat. I'd be around 3-4% bodyfat.

I work out in about 30 minutes.

BTW, the carts go REALLY fast. The fastest I've ever ridden. It was scary how fast they could go when they "flipped the switch" to make them go all out. I couldn't believe it.

Go out there and drop those pounds, fatass! 😠

Spoiler:
I do this all the time to my friends who try and workout.

Did you shit yourself at the speed?

Originally posted by Sol Valentine
Did you shit yourself at the speed?

no. But it was very very very very fun.