Star Wars: The Mandalorian Wars

This is my own version of the Mandalorian Wars, featuring Revan and Malak. The story is currently in process, and it may take a while until I've finished it completely.

PREFACE

The newborn Sith Lords were waiting in the outskirts of the galaxy. The Mandalorians were dead, and everything was going as they had planned. The two Dark Lords stood at the very center of the bridge, inside their flagship, the Reaper, as they observed the darkness of the universe from the colossal window. The taller one of the pair turned to look at his new master, and his overly-damaged face was revealed. His mouth and his jaw were no longer in place, replaced by a silver breathing machine covering the wholes, and making his voice sound dark and mechanic.
“Are we ready?” He asked, coldly to his master.
“Not yet. We must be certain the Jedi believe we are lost forever. Only then will we be able to go. Our scouts have not returned yet.”
“They better quicken their pace. I am getting impatient.”
“I know, my apprentice. Soon we will find the Star Forge, and the galaxy will be ours. The Jedi won’t know what hit them.”
“I am concerned, Master. Do you think it’s wise to trust our… followers?” Malak asked, emphasizing the word followers.
“Don’t worry. We will make them trust us.”
“How?”
“We will seek out every Force-user with enough potential in our ranks. We will train them to use the Dark Side of the Force.”
Malak’s eyes widened with understanding.
“They will learn, either willingly or not, and they will surrender their lives to us. We will be… invincible.”

CHAPTER 1

REBELLION

Revan was walking around in desperation, just outside the Jedi Council Chambers, on the Temple’s illuminated halls. The Jedi Council was not going to act. They just sat in their fancy chairs made of expensive leather, while countless innocent lives were lost in the Outer and Mid Rim planets of the galaxy. The Republic was being torn apart. They were desperately petitioning the Council for immediate aid, but the Council always ignored them. This is outrageous! Are they blind!? If we do not act now, there will be no more chances, he thought. He knew the Republic military forces needed the Jedi in order to defeat the invading Mandalorian fleets. Without us, they are doomed.

But Revan knew what he had to do. No longer was he going to argue for Jedi intervention. He was going to intervene. And he was not the only one who was desperate. Many others, hundreds of the Order, believed the Council was not acting wisely, and would join the war if given the slightest of opportunities. Even some Jedi Masters were in complete disagreement with the Council’s senseless decision. And Revan knew this. He needed to take advantage of this convenient situation.
The decision was made before the war had even started. If the Republic was to survive this galactic confrontation, this had to be done. He knew many would join his cause, even if it meant going against the Council itself. But he needed to do it secretly. For now, at least. If he was discovered, the Council would utterly put an end to his rebellious plan. A few days were going to be necessary, maybe even weeks… but he already knew who to approach first.

***

Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy.
Jedi use their powers to defend and to protect.
Jedi respect all life, in any form.
Jedi serve others rather than ruling over them, for the good of the galaxy.
Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training

Alek sat awkwardly in the center of the training room. He was exhausted. After four hours of sparring against combat training droids, he always recited the Jedi Code over and over again inside his mind. He was a big, broad-shouldered man, who stood at an impressive two meters in height. He had pale skin, and his head was completely shaved, showing off his silvery-blue tattoos covering a big part of his skull. The intimidating man always wore red Jedi armour.

A few unexpected knocks on the chamber’s door abruptly interrupted Alek’s meditation. The man got to his feet and walked towards the door, opening it, to find a young man, notably shorter in height, who looked about the same age as him, wearing obscure Jedi robes. He removed the robe’s hood, as his handsome features, which contrasted with his bright, aqua eyes and his dark brown hair, were exposed. Alek recognized the man instantly.

“Revan,” He greeted politely.
“I’m sorry I interrupted your training, Alek… but I fear we have important things to discuss.” He said in a dark voice, sounding suspicious.
“What is it? Something wrong?” He asked with sudden concern in his deep voice.
“It’s something about the war… about the Council.”
“Right. The Council. I thought we had already talked about this, Revan. Hadn’t we agreed that the Counci—”
“I want to go to war, Alek.” He broke in. Such an unexpected choice of words. “I’m tired of doing nothing, while billions suffer in the hands of the Mandalorians. I’m tired, Alek, and I want to do something about it, even if it means going against the Council itself.”
Alek was unprepared for this kind of conversation. But he knew Revan was right. Both of them had always thought, since the beginning of the war, a year ago, that the Council was not acting they way they should. They said patience was necessary, they said that if the Jedi stroke now, the Republic would fail. But, strangely enough, they never gave the rest of the Jedi any explanation, either. It was really completely the other way around: If we didn’t strike now, the whole galaxy would be speaking Mandalorian by the end of the war.
For a moment, he stood silently, his head down.
“And what are we supposed to do?” He finally asked, not being able to deny the truth in his friend’s words.
“You know many of the Order are not happy with the Council’s attitude. And I know that, if we ask these people to join us, they will follow.”
“How are you so certain?”
“They’re desperate. And they don’t trust the Council, like us. Not anymore. They don’t respect them, as they did before the war.”
“So you think that if we just ask them to come with us, they will follow without hesitation?”
“Certainly. Most of them will. I even believe some Jedi Masters will. As I said before, they’re desperate. They only need that little, extra push. And we will give it to them.”
“Hmm… It’s worth a shot. What do you have in mind?”
“We have to do this secretly, at least for now. It’s better if the Council remains unsuspicious. The plan’s pretty simple: We both pretty much know who trusts the Council, and who doesn’t. We need to make a list of every single one of those who oppose the Council. When we finally talk all of them into joining us, we’ll be ready for the next step.”

I am all but a newb in story-writing, so.

Interesting interface and verbial useage. Be waery of Plot bunnies escaping your grasp and this will turn out fine. Grammer usage more suited to writing a script/audio drama but passable. Nothing novel settled but a very good attempt. i'm going to keep posted on this one PM when the next parts done.... 3/10 (which is good) 🙂

Actually, I've changed it a bit. I'll re-post it tommorrow. But thanks. 🙂

Right. Here. Decided to change things. Make it a little bit better, in my opinion.

CHAPTER 1
REBELLION

The Mandalorian Wars erupted a little less than a decade ago. They started their crusade on Outer Rim worlds of the galaxy. They chose carefully, silently invading only planets which were not associated to the Galactic Republic. It was a slow process, and as years passed by, they had more than half of the Outer Rim worlds under their control. Once they believed they had enough planets under their own jurisdiction, they suddenly attacked Republic-associated worlds in the Mid and Outer Rims of the galaxy. That was when the Republic realized what was going on. But it was already too late.
I was walking around in desperation, just outside the Jedi Council Chambers, on the Temple’s illuminated halls. The Jedi Council was not going to act. They just sat, doing absolutely nothing, while countless innocent lives were lost in the Outer and Mid Rim planets of the galaxy. The Republic was being torn apart. They were desperately petitioning the Council for immediate aid, but the Council urged patience as they claimed to be ‘assessing’ the Mandalorian threat. “Careful, Revan. Your desire for war will be your doom. You have to understand.” They said. But I had no desire for war. It was merely the desire to help those in need, those who would die if we did nothing. If we did not act now, there would be no more chances. I knew the Republic military forces needed the Jedi in order to defeat the invading Mandalorian fleets. Without us, they were doomed.
But I knew what I had to do. No longer was I going to argue for Jedi intervention. I was going to intervene. And I was not the only one who was desperate. Many others, hundreds of the Order, believed the Council was not acting wisely, and would join the war if given the slightest of opportunities. Even some Jedi Masters were in complete disagreement with the Council’s decision. I knew this. And I was willing to use that in my advantage.
The decision was made before the war had even started. If the Republic was to survive this galactic confrontation, this had to be done. I knew many would join my cause, even if it meant going against the Council itself. But I needed to do it secretly. For now, at least. If I was discovered, the Council would utterly put an end to my rebellious plan. A few days were going to be necessary, maybe even weeks… but I already knew who to approach first.

***

Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy.
Jedi use their powers to defend and to protect.
Jedi respect all life, in any form.
Jedi serve others rather than rule over them, for the good of the galaxy.
Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training.

I sat awkwardly in the center of the training room, exhausted. After my intense sparring session against combat training droids, I always recited the Jedi Code over and over again inside my head. I moved swiftly through the training room to grab the towel on the floor. I wiped my bald, tattooed head with the towel until the sweat was off. I reached towards my beautiful red armour, and was about to put it on, but a few unexpected knocks on the chamber’s door interrupted. I slowly walked towards the door, opening it, to find a young man, notably short, who looked about the same age as me, wearing obscure Jedi robes. He removed the robe’s hood, as his handsome features, which contrasted with his bright, aqua eyes and his dark brown hair, were exposed. I recognized the man instantly.

“Revan,” I greeted politely.
“I am honestly sorry that I have interrupted your training, Alek… But I fear we have important things to discuss.” He said in a dark, suspicious voice.
“Is something wrong?” I replied quickly.
“I’m afraid we’ll be forced to take extreme measures, my friend.”
“Right. The Council. We have already addressed this matter, Revan. Hadn’t we agreed that the Counci—”
“Let’s go to war, Squint.” He broke in. He hadn’t called me like that in a long time. Being named Alek Squinquargesimus would eventually get me one of those strange nicknames after some years. “I’m tired of doing nothing, while billions suffer in the hands of the Mandalorians. I’m tired, and I want to do something about it, even if it means going against the Council itself.”
I was frankly unprepared for this kind of conversation. But I knew Revan was damn right. Both of us had always believed, since the beginning of the war, that the Council was not acting they way it should. They told everyone patience was necessary, they said that if the Jedi stroke now, the Republic would eventually fall. How the hell…? It didn’t make any sense. And strangely enough, they never gave the rest of us any explanation, either. It was really completely the other way around: If we didn’t strike now, the whole galaxy would be speaking Mandalorian by the end of the war. There had to be something more…
For a moment, I stood, silently, my head down.
“And what are we supposed to do?” I finally asked, not being able to deny the truth of Revan’s bloody words.
“You know many of the Order are not happy with the Council’s attitude. And I know that, if we ask these people to join us, they will follow.”
“How are you so certain?”
“They’re desperate, Alek. And they don’t trust the Council, like us. Not anymore.”
“So you think that if we just ask them to join us, they will follow without hesitation?”
“Certainly. Most of them will. As I said before, they’re desperate. They only need that little, extra push. And we will give it to them.”
I took a minute of consideration. “Hmm… It’s worth a shot. What do you have in mind?”
“We have to do this secretly, at least for now. It’s better if the Council remains unsuspicious. The plan is simple: We both pretty much know who trusts the Council, and who doesn’t. We need to make a list of every single one of those who oppose the Council. When we finally talk all of them into joining us, then we’ll be ready for the next step.”

CHAPTER 2
ACT OF DESPERATION

***

Weeks had passed since the day Squint and Revan had tried to persuade me into joining their foolish cause. I had warned them, but everyone joined anyway. Only I was wise enough to know the Council was right.
By the time I convinced the Council about Revan’s plans, it was too late. I was, actually, one of the few apprentices of the Order who didn’t join Revan’s cause. I knew the wisdom of the Council was far greater than any of those who opposed them. I knew it was completely wrong.
At first, they did not believe me. It all seemed completely absurd and ridiculous for them. After all, Revan was one Jedi Knight to be talked about. Such a charismatic, talented, bright young man… Or so everybody thought. I disagreed. Revan had always been reckless and wild; not exactly the best way to describe a Jedi. But some would go as far as saying his abilities match those of the masters from the Council. In their minds, a person like Revan would not fall so far as to give into his desire for war… Would he?
“How could this be possible?” Master Dorak asked in disbelief. Dorak was the perfect example of a Jedi Master. Arrogant and mistrusting. Yet, he was still held in high regard amongst the Order, and many young pupils, sometimes even me, sought the master out when in need for wisdom or guidance.
“I…They don’t trust your decisions anymore. They think that if they do not act now, the Republic will perish.” I replied worriedly.
“Do you know how many have joined Revan’s cause so far, Bastila?” Atris, one of the female masters, asked in a seemingly shocked and offended tone. I certainly hoped that one day I would become a Council member. I hated the idea of having only two women on the Council, while having two times more men.
“He has gathered more than seventy followers by now, I believe.” I replied, ashamed, “and I am aware of the fact that some of these are masters.”
“Masters, you say? Hmm…” Master Vandar said out loud. I remained silent.
“This is a matter that should be dealt with delicacy. We should not try to stop them, but the consequences these fools will face when they return—if they do return—will be severe.”
“Do you think the Republic will emerge victorious from this confrontation, Master?” I asked in disbelief.
“With the aid of our rebellious friends, the Mandalorian fleets will be slowly annihilated. They are no match for Jedi.” Master Zez-Kai Ell answered sharply.
“I… I don’t understand, Masters. If you know the Mandalorians will be destroyed once Revan takes control, why didn’t we act before?” I asked, puzzled.
All eyes were suddenly on me.
“An act of desperation, this was,” Master Vandar replied, narrowing his big, green eyes, “and turn them to the dark side, it will.”
“There is one more thing, Bastila.” Master Lorna Shaad broke in.
“Yes, master?”
“No one must know about this. I know Revan sought out each Jedi individually, trying to hide his intentions. The rest of the Order mustn’t know about his actions. It will only weaken our say in this matter.”

Much better.. still a little squashed which irked me a little... try double line brakes like I do after each character speaks, much like the way I RP in SW: GAW ...

Thanks, mate.

What do you mean a little squashed?

Originally posted by Cpt. Valerian
Thanks, mate.

What do you mean a little squashed?

He means that you don't put spaces between your lines and paragraphs. The ideal entry:

Weeks had passed since the day Squint and Revan had tried to persuade me into joining their foolish cause. I had warned them, but everyone joined anyway. Only I was wise enough to know the Council was right.

By the time I convinced the Council about Revan’s plans, it was too late. I was, actually, one of the few apprentices of the Order who didn’t join Revan’s cause. I knew the wisdom of the Council was far greater than any of those who opposed them. I knew it was completely wrong.
At first, they did not believe me. It all seemed completely absurd and ridiculous for them. After all, Revan was one Jedi Knight to be talked about. Such a charismatic, talented, bright young man… Or so everybody thought. I disagreed. Revan had always been reckless and wild; not exactly the best way to describe a Jedi. But some would go as far as saying his abilities match those of the masters from the Council. In their minds, a person like Revan would not fall so far as to give into his desire for war… Would he?

“How could this be possible?” Master Dorak asked in disbelief. Dorak was the perfect example of a Jedi Master. Arrogant and mistrusting. Yet, he was still held in high regard amongst the Order, and many young pupils, sometimes even me, sought the master out when in need for wisdom or guidance.

“I…They don’t trust your decisions anymore. They think that if they do not act now, the Republic will perish.” I replied worriedly.

“Do you know how many have joined Revan’s cause so far, Bastila?” Atris, one of the female masters, asked in a seemingly shocked and offended tone. I certainly hoped that one day I would become a Council member. I hated the idea of having only two women on the Council, while having two times more men.

“He has gathered more than seventy followers by now, I believe.” I replied, ashamed, “and I am aware of the fact that some of these are masters.”

“Masters, you say? Hmm…” Master Vandar said out loud. I remained silent.

“This is a matter that should be dealt with delicacy. We should not try to stop them, but the consequences these fools will face when they return—if they do return—will be severe.”

“Do you think the Republic will emerge victorious from this confrontation, Master?” I asked in disbelief.

“With the aid of our rebellious friends, the Mandalorian fleets will be slowly annihilated. They are no match for Jedi.” Master Zez-Kai Ell answered sharply.

“I… I don’t understand, Masters. If you know the Mandalorians will be destroyed once Revan takes control, why didn’t we act before?” I asked, puzzled.

All eyes were suddenly on me.

“An act of desperation, this was,” Master Vandar replied, narrowing his big, green eyes, “and turn them to the dark side, it will.”

“There is one more thing, Bastila.” Master Lorna Shaad broke in.

“Yes, master?”

“No one must know about this. I know Revan sought out each Jedi individually, trying to hide his intentions. The rest of the Order mustn’t know about his actions. It will only weaken our say in this matter.”

Right. Thanks, Gid.

Any more, I need something to read...

Sorry, my laptop is currently being repaired.

Ahhh... lol

hey can I illustrate the book thing you are working on? people say Im a good artist artist

you can illistrate mine if you like?