I imagine it as so
The rest of the cast are taking their bows after the performance. The performance was short lived and finished a long time ago but the bows continued. I remained behind the curtain because I believed that my appearance during the bows was insignificant compared to the idea of me being behind the curtain. If I am not on the stage then I am behind the curtain, I think it's important for the cast to know that.
Still remains in my head that the idea is more important than the actuality.
In the reality of reality recently I figured this out and I still much prefer it. I suppose it's a method of control although it feels demeaning to my human experience to filter it down to boring psychology.
Still, I find this all beautiful. Sincerely mean that.
I wish I had someone in my reality to share it with. There is someone although the way I have structured my life it won't be until next week (perhaps even the week after) until I can share it with them.
The sadness is that the beauty is only apparent to me, perhaps some of you here but at the moment it is only me that can see it.
There is nothing wrong with keeping something beautiful to yourself but I would like the occasional chance to share it.