Hey Scribble I'm not sure about all that's going on in your personal life but I am worried about the kinds of things you're saying.
I side with the idea that life doesn't have any inherent meaning. This however is not meant to be a bummer or a drag, but a chance at living a life for ourselves. It's up to us to find meaning within it. Without some grand plan or destiny, we are more than welcome to pursue our own.
But maybe it feels good just to type these things out and that's your therapeutic way to cope, in which case - power to you. But keep in mind, you saying that you not being here makes no difference to anyone in the long run is not actually up to you. You're robbing the rest of us of the agency of actually appreciating you. We'd miss you, you're our friend.
Being relegated to KMC or social media doesn't change that bit.
Originally posted by QuincyHonestly I'd be fine with life having no meaning, but it's also relentlessly boring, painful and irritating. There is no good argument for existence and no good reason to stay alive, either. It's only our fear that keeps us alive, and I'm slowly losing that fear. I would rather fly to ills I know not of than bear those I have.
Hey Scribble I'm not sure about all that's going on in your personal life but I am worried about the kinds of things you're saying.I side with the idea that life doesn't have any inherent meaning. This however is not meant to be a bummer or a drag, but a chance at living a life for ourselves. It's up to us to find meaning within it. Without some grand plan or destiny, we are more than welcome to pursue our own.
But maybe it feels good just to type these things out and that's your therapeutic way to cope, in which case - power to you. But keep in mind, you saying that you not being here makes no difference to anyone in the long run is not actually up to you. You're robbing the rest of us of the agency of actually appreciating you. We'd miss you, you're our friend.
Being relegated to KMC or social media doesn't change that bit.
I'm being serious when I say my death wouldn't cause any real long term pain - I've lost friends and it was intense at the time, but we get over these things, compartmentalise them and then regulate them to occasional wistful memories. The pain you guys would collectively feel would be nowhere close to the pain I suffer monthly, so it's ultimately selfish of the world to expect me to keep living just so I don't hurt anyone.
Again, though, I'm sadly doubtful that I have suicide in me as a real possibility. I'll likely have to keep living through this worthless existence only with the hope that my smoking and drinking will end it sooner than later. Although that isn't even that likely, statistically. The very thought of another ten years in this life absolutely horrifies me.
Originally posted by Wonder ManLaughing is nice, but it ends all too quickly. As soon as I am finished laughing, it's as if I never was. The pain returns immediately. So ultimately humour in general is facile and pointless to invest in.
Quincy. I disagree. Scribble find sometimes in your life that make you laugh. You have a great sense of humor and you can have the purpose of life just by laughing.
Originally posted by Scribble
tbf I have been ending every other post with "Heil Hitler" for the past 6 years so I'm surprised you didn't realise earlier
Oh yeah I always thought that was weird, oh well!
Originally posted by Scribble
Honestly I'd be fine with life having no meaning, but it's also relentlessly boring, painful and irritating. There is no good argument for existence and no good reason to stay alive, either. It's only our fear that keeps us alive, and I'm slowly losing that fear. I would rather fly to ills I know not of than bear those I have.I'm being serious when I say my death wouldn't cause any real long term pain - I've lost friends and it was intense at the time, but we get over these things, compartmentalise them and then regulate them to occasional wistful memories. The pain you guys would collectively feel would be nowhere close to the pain I suffer monthly, so it's ultimately selfish of the world to expect me to keep living just so I don't hurt anyone.
Again, though, I'm sadly doubtful that I have suicide in me as a real possibility. I'll likely have to keep living through this worthless existence only with the hope that my smoking and drinking will end it sooner than later. Although that isn't even that likely, statistically. The very thought of another ten years in this life absolutely horrifies me.
Hmmm, boring is an interesting way to describe it. Boredom to me is usually something we can actively do something about. Whether we can replace that boredom with hobbies - writing, watching movies, One Piece, creating, hooking up, reading, going for a walk. Any and all of it counts. I think it's hard because sometimes I used to struggle with like "Okay I'm playing video games and thats got no real point to it and just a waste of time" but if life has no real meaning ultimately, why not live for the things that are just fun to do?
It sounds like you're going through a lot a lot on your end of things. What kind of pain are you feeling? Just like, sick of what the world is?
Originally posted by QuincyI have almost completely consuming anhedonia, so basically I very rarely find anything truly enjoyable / fun. Things can be distractions but not much else. I often fake enjoyment in conversation so that I don't seem weird, and thus become more socially isolated than I already am. I have a lot of hobbies and none even come close to filling the void of ennui. Life, I think, is overhyped and generally pretty dull. Like, I get it, stuff happens and some of it is cool, but none of it has any real substance or point in engaging with other than to simply distract temporarily.
Hmmm, boring is an interesting way to describe it. Boredom to me is usually something we can actively do something about. Whether we can replace that boredom with hobbies - writing, watching movies, One Piece, creating, hooking up, reading, going for a walk. Any and all of it counts. I think it's hard because sometimes I used to struggle with like "Okay I'm playing video games and thats got no real point to it and just a waste of time" but if life has no real meaning ultimately, why not live for the things that are just fun to do?It sounds like you're going through a lot a lot on your end of things. What kind of pain are you feeling? Just like, sick of what the world is?
The pain is more or less manifold. Frequent physical pain (sickness, joint ache, toothache, indigestion, slowly decaying ability to walk, usually more than one at a time and with no cool-off periods in between), and constant intense spiritual and psychic / psychological pain. Also as I've said before I'm more or less constantly beset by incredibly painful or uncomfortable intrusive thoughts and images. But yeah, I also just hate the earth, and especially humanity, to its very core. Dysfunctional, callous and moronic; incapable of progress or further evolution; idiot apes who spend their time masturbating over how special and unique they are, the insolent sons of bitches. We are a truly pathetic little self-aggrandising pack of walking maggot food.