Edward Cullen runs a Guantlet

To "celebrate" the upcoming sequel to Twilight, Edward decides to attempt to prove his masculinity by taking on a cadre of vampires/ vamp hunters. He has no prep, and no knowledge of his opponents, and he doesn't get any recovery time (not like he needs it, apparently). He topped off with some deer before he headed out, so consider him at peak form, I guess.

1. Buffy
2. The Lost Boys
3. Lestat
4. Van Helsing
5. Selene
6. Dracula
7. Blade

So does the "pretty boy" Cullen get to impress his Mary Sue, or does he get burned faster than a copy of Twilight doused in kerosene and shoved in a furnace?

Buffy takes off his head.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
To "celebrate" the upcoming sequel to Twilight, Edward decides to attempt to prove his masculinity by taking on a cadre of vampires/ vamp hunters. He has no prep, and no knowledge of his opponents, and he doesn't get any recovery time (not like he needs it, apparently). He topped off with some deer before he headed out, so consider him at peak form, I guess.

1. Buffy
2. The Lost Boys
3. Lestat
4. Van Helsing
5. Selene
6. Dracula
7. Blade

So does the "pretty boy" Cullen get to impress his Mary Sue, or does he get burned faster than a copy of Twilight doused in kerosene and shoved in a furnace?

edward would spend all of his time arranging the gauntlet so by the time new moon comes out he could just say "whoops! i'm so sorry guys. i really thought this was going to come through, but you know lestat, he has to go to all those fan rallies and buffy is out of business and everything....

but hey! Spike and me exchanged insults about who was more manly, and spike won because he threatened to go after my reader-proxy. oh! i mean, i let him off easy."

Lucian and Raze appear on the horizon and wolf rape them.

Vampire Jack Bauer kicks his shithole

I dont see Ed getting past the Lost Boys.

I think every one of these people would kill him.

Originally posted by XanatosForever

1. Buffy
2. The Lost Boys
3. Lestat
4. Van Helsing
5. Selene
6. Dracula
7. Blade

Despite Twilight being a truly horrific movie, one of the worst I've had the displeasure of seeing, the gaypire has great speed, strength and fewer of the classic vampyre weaknesses, he's probably more than Buffy has faced or the Lost Boys have displayed, as they were bottom-barrel vamps.

Lestat seemed faster though, so he's probably make Eddy into his twink and it'd end there.

Why Lestat is #3, I don't know, as he'd ass-rape Helsing and kick the shit out of Selene and then steal her fashionable boots. He'd also give Dracula (Blade version?) and Blade a good run for their money.

I was just wondering also about the order.

Don't get past Buffy, IMO

I was lazy, it was late at night, and I didn't feel like putting the order proper. What popped into my head was what got put up. 😐

He might sweat amateurs like Van Helsing but I down't see him as a threat against professional hunters like Blade and Selene.

Which version of Dracula?

I'd say he makes it to 3. There is no way he can beat Lestat...especially if you consider the current version has the same powers as Akasha, Queen of the damned. He could probably burn Edward with a thought.

I wish Alucard had a live action movie...I could see Edward trying to fight that monster..lol

Okay, well I don't feel like letting this die yet, so how about of a revision?

You guys take the original gauntlet and reorder it to what you think is proper, and tell me how far you think glitter boy goes.

Feel free to add in anyone I missed, as well.

Buffy
The Lost Boys
Blade
Van Helsing
Selene
Dracula
Lestat

Okay, and where do you think he stops?

The Lost Boys.

Why?

Because they can fly, and there are four of them.