2 October 2009

Today, I would like to talk about Megan Fox. I recently was privy to the latest movie starring Megan Fox, entitled "Jessica's Body." Now, before I get into the proverbial meat and potatoes of my rant, I would first like to mention just how horrible this movie was. I am personally humored by the "Horror" genre, as most scary movies are not scary at all. But, this was a cross between a comedy and a horror movie. It was neither funny, nor scary. It was poorly written, and just plain stupid.

Anyways, getting back to Miss Serious Actress, she portrayed the title character in this steaming pile of cow dung.

Spoiler:
Jessica, who is dragged away from a bar by an up-and-coming band "Low Shoulder" after said bar caught on fire, and attempted to sacrifice her in order to become wealthy and popular. However, they find out she is not a virgin, and she becomes more demon and less High School tart.

Now, to the reason I hate this woman. Granted, she is attractive, as are most leading ladies in Hollywood cinema. But, I read an article that she was approached to play the next Bond girl. She turned the role down, claiming she wants to be known for her acting abilities, rather then as a face or a body. Sorry to disappoint you, sweet heart, but you will never be known as anything more then the average adolescent/20 year old male's wet dream. The fact that you want to be known for your acting, and then you play the role you did in your recent "masterpiece," shows that you have no ability to make judgment calls.

Bravo, Megan Fox, you ain't smart much.