Aaaaaaaaaaahahahahaaa!!!!
Examiner Exclusive: Zombie outbreak cause of Gulf BP Oil Spill
A recent article on Worldzombienews.com revealed that Zombies were spotted near the oil spill in the Gulf. Reports have now surfaced that Zombies actually caused the oil spill.
In a recent Examiner.com exclusive interview with survivor Brandant Snyder details were released of exactly how a small outbreak has turned into a 45+ day clean up effort and a massive cover-up effort by the mainstream media. Snyder claims that as a member of the custodial staff of the BP Oil rig he was in the process of a routine floor cleaning when he heard a loud thumping coming from one of the large oil Storage drums.
"The sounds were muffled at first, but as I got closer, I swore I could hear a soft moaning sound." Snyder said.
Snyder and other BP employees had been concerned about a missing crew member who had been thought to have abandoned the rig. "I thought for sure he [the missing crew mate, name withheld] had fallen into the drum and somehow got sealed in. I knew we had to help him."
Snyder then explained how he and two other crew members removed the lid to the massive four hundred pound storage drum and were attacked by an oil-covered humanoid creature. Snyder claims the creature had originally pulled one of the men into the drum, then both it and the crew member emerged and attacked Snyder and the other worker.
Later, the rigs security arrived and, in a an effort by a dozen humans to eliminate (by Snyder's estimate) sixteen to eighteen zombies, one of the oil feed lines was hit by a stray bullet. This caused a massive explosion, and the oil leak now being investigated under orders of the President of the United States.
"The guns used were not designed to kill... Those type of creatures" one security officer who asked to remain anonymous stated.
Snyder has given permission to be contacted via facebook but has asked that the constant calls from other media outlets stop to respect his privacy. He says he barely escaped with his life and was glad that the majority of the zombies were destroyed in the explosion but that they chased him inland (See inset picture).
CNN and other news outlets have yet to cover this side of the story, opting instead to focus on the clean up efforts. BP could not be reached for comment.
Brandant Snynder now lives in a small town about 45 minutes from Des Moines, Ia with his wife and child. His house is a beacon of Zombie Defense.
BP, British Petroleum. Leave it to the British.