You are all missing the main use of spoons, weapons.
You can start off quite tamely by using them to flick bits of food across the table at people. Then you can move on to flicking marbles or other hard projectiles, like a long distance attack similar to that of a catapult. Once you have run out of ammunition to fire you can advance on your target and use the spoon to prod them with thus causing uncomfortable bruising, much like if you run out of ammo in your rifle and use the bayonet as a weapon, only you need no attachments with the spoon as it it both the tool for projectile attack and the bayonet style attack. If you become really vicious you can use the spoon to beat your enemy senseless akin to using a club or baseball bat of somekind, this kind of attack is somewhat restricted to the type of spoon you have to hand, for example a teaspoon may be rendered useless for close hand to hand combat due to its obvious deficiencies whereas a ladle is the most useful. On the other hand a teaspoon is the most useful item to use in place of throwing knives due to it easy handling size and the fact that you are most likely to ‘have someones eye out’ with it, it also has semi-stealth qualities because when thrown at high speeds it is harder to pick out than the ladle.
If there are any other better uses you can think, other that the obvious self-mutilation usage, please post them.
😎