Profiles On [merged]

The Coat Hanger, or Chuparcabra as it's known in 'Nam, is the invention of a project spanning well over three decades. The project consisted of the excellent mathematical skills of the most gifted Asian, the sniffing ability of biggest nosed Jew and the sleepiest Mexican which donated his body for human testing.

The need for a hanger of coats was realized in the dream of a mad man who was so high on cocaine, he was doing time for raping himself with his own foot but that's a story for another time. Whilst in prison, the self-raping maniac found that there was nowhere to squat when he needed to perform the ancient ceremonial dance of the "Prison Rape". So, with a flash of inspiration, he started urinating on a guard who was passing by at the time. This, inevitably, led to solitary confinement.

It was in solitary confinement that he invented the coat hanger.

The more you know.

coat?
coat?

no.

floor!
Floor hangers.
they go on the floor.

Originally posted by ZeeProfiler
The Coat Hanger, or Chuparcabra as it's known in 'Nam, is the invention of a project spanning well over three decades. The project consisted of the excellent mathematical skills of the most gifted Asian, the sniffing ability of biggest nosed Jew and the sleepiest Mexican which donated his body for human testing.

The need for a hanger of coats was realized in the dream of a mad man who was so high on cocaine, he was doing time for raping himself with his own foot but that's a story for another time. Whilst in prison, the self-raping maniac found that there was nowhere to squat when he needed to perform the ancient ceremonial dance of the "Prison Rape". So, with a flash of inspiration, he started urinating on a guard who was passing by at the time. This, inevitably, led to solitary confinement.

It was in solitary confinement that he invented the coat hanger.

The more you know.

First we need to understand the history of remote controls, which is a
large subject, due to there being so many uses of them!

Originating with Ezio Auditore, before he became a rapper and created
IGN to review his horrible video games, Ezio decided that getting off his
ginormous ass was too taxing, so he discovered a magic genie inbetwe-
en his sofa cushions.

"Now that I'm free," Said he, "I will grant your wishes, three!"

In the brief moment of realization of what he had done, he jumped up &
shouted with all his breath.

"By the holy ghost! 'Ere I was watching Ready Steady Cook and now I'm
at the mercy of this megical genie!"

"Could you not speed this up?" The genie inquired.

"Kay!" was the response.

Before he said another word, he thought very carefully.

"An easy way to change channel on my TV!"

"By the beard of Odin, I will grant this wish."

"Excellent!"

And that's how the TV was invented, or the automocar, or triffles. Honestly, I forgot what I was typing halfway through, so I'll leave you with that. Enjoy.

Hey wow, that coat hanger one was hilarious...This? not so much...

Idontgetit.

There is but a question that has plagued scientists for centuries. The lime, what are they are how can they be converted into a weapon against the Muslims? Well, dear carrots, I shall teach thee.

Once, in the garden of Eden, a man stood. He stood taller than all the other vegetables before him but with great power comes great responsibility. It was with this in mind that God approached and allowed him the message.

"*****, yo' need to be makin' babies or I'll pop you in the motherf#@$ing ass with my gat, foo'."

Days passed. The meaning still unclear. The man was beginning to become frustrated with Gods devious ploy when all of a sudden a brainwave occurred. LIMES! Many of them, in fact.

Days passed. The meaning still unclear. What the f#@$ are limes? Tormented by his own imagination, he began to design two separate languages; English and Jihad. It was the mans understanding that only he could speak English and the limes would mutter in Jihad. With a plan so perfect, so flawless, what could go wrong?

Well, cancer struck.

Okay, that's enough. Stop making separate threads for these.

yeah man, listen to more abba or something.

take a chance on me is on the radio.

i hate abba.