Originally posted by Deja~vu
People are so into marriage. They are so in love that they want to stay with the person forever, yet once you move in together, things change/people change. It might take time, but it does.
So what else is new. Change: fact o' life. But neither does it always have to be "bad." How things change depends a lot on what choices people make, which often involves expectations, which often are not realistic. Marriage (among other things) = work.
Isn't it better to stay single and keep your own space and keep your own identity?
For many people, I would imagine so. On the other hand, one can be a "whole person" within and comprising the "larger wholeness" of couplehood. I would even say that one can't truly be all they can be without being part of something bigger than oneself. Part of "growing up," IMHO, means being able to put your needs second. This becomes especially true with parenthood.
What about respecting your views and seeing you as special like they first saw you?
Respecting another's views is one thing; having someone see you as special as when they first saw you is something else. For the former: this should be an integral aspect of
any relationship. For the latter: again, things change, and it can be for the better, especially since "love at first sight" is often based on physical, relatively superficial characteristics as well as what one person is "projecting" onto the other. With time can come honesty and clarity in a relationship, as well as an appreciation of the partner's sacrifices (ie, them putting
your needs first). In essence, with proper care, love deepens.
Why is it that we feel that we MUST live together to be complete? Shouldn't we already feel that way? Why do others feel they need someone to feel that way? Are people that insecure?
Some people
are that needy/insecure (not a good basis for
any sort of relationship). But I don't think that's the majority. At the very least, I think pair-bonding has been evolutionarily selected for, given the extended care-time human babies need once they've been popped out into the world. Certainly, we
are social animals.
Sorry, but been watching some horrible TV shows about Valentines Day tonight.
I have a feeling this
is what prompted you to post this...plus, perhaps, some less-than-ideal personal experiences? 😕
Unfortunately, more and more, we seem to be living in a celebrity-fizz culture with me-first values which -- largely for the sake of profit -- indulge our adolescent drives and fantasies. This is not fertile ground for forming meaningful, long-lasting relationships.