ITT: Epic grade school sport stories

>Be in 5th grade
>Playing Dodge ball
>Suddenly, stomach has begins to rumble
>remember than day old burrito I had for lunch
>Andrew Thomas has the dodge ball
>launches it at my stomach
>direct hit
>ass cheeks unclench
>mass semi-liquid crap explosion all over my pants
>Noise that emits rivals Qwest Field
>dat smell
>Screaming girls, screaming girls everywhere
>get suspended
>Spend my week finishing Earth Worm Jim on Sega Mega Drive
>my face when

>5th grade
>flag football
>usually WR or some shit, but the QB in this game is sucking dick
>my friend on the team is the coach's dad so I get him to tell his dad to put me in as WR
>we're down by like 5 TDs so coach is like **** it, get in there Barker
>get in there
>BLUE 42 GREEN 19 HONK HONKS HIKE
>ball sails over head
>ball is downed because of gay flag football rules
>2nd down
>try to set an RB in motion
>not allowed
>hike ball, throw perfect arc for 3 yard gain
>3rd down, throw for a 20 yard gain
>feel like Stan Humphries himself
>walk up to line like a pimp
>hut hut hike
>throw perfect INT
>mfw

barker is so cool, when i grow up i wanna be just like him.... only, minus the child molestation part.

She was 14 and I was 16, it was still legal then. 13

yeah,
but then you turned 20, and were dating her 14 year old sister.
it wasnt so legal then.

No davo, that is not ok to be telling everyone.

>In grade 3
>Had stinky farts
>Running around the gym in P.E.
>Running and pooting at the same time
>Gym teacher catches a wiff
>Looks around
>Hits the floor
>Everyone walks the dinosaur

>Preschool daycare
>We were supposed to be playing tag
>I was it
>Her name was Tiffany
>She was hiding under the "big toy"
>Kissed her under the "big toy"
>She was now "it"
>Victory with a win-win

>playing cowboys with my friend david
>he wants to be pinhead larry
>my face when

Some guy got hit in the nuts in dodgeball once...was pretty epic...he cried