Michael just happened to have his whore ***** ex stalker in his orientation group, which rustled his jimmies to no end. Fortunately, there were two very attractive females in the group, one who's name he does not ****ing know, and one 2D, a girl so pretty the world literally stopped turning and Michael finally understood all the love songs in the world.
He made intermittent small talk with her through the orientation, but never enough to actually form an acquaintance - after all, this was just orientation - there was no way they'd actually have a class together!
Or would they..
- TO BE CONTINUED -
Because
That summer, amid summer nights of Bioshock and GTA IV, of Bacon and Eggs, of CM Punk and FBI investigations of my dumb roommate's phone, Michael forgot about 2D girl.
"There will be plenty of other girls, I bet, when classes start," he told himself convincingly one night.
"YEAH RIGHT ***," his roommate yelled from the other room.
And so it was, when the morning of August 15th dawned, Michael got ready for school for the first time in two years. He showered especially well, ate a small breakfast, and went off for his first class of the day, marketing.
Solid 7s everywhere, don't take marketing.
And then later, after a quick shift at work, he went back for both Math and Art classes - a very pretty 8 was in Math, but Michael was biding his time - wait to see all the cows before making a buy, he thought, that's what cowboy T had always said.
It was 12:55. The door to the art class slammed and Michael looked up from his decrepit Palm Pre to see what he was working with. A 7 here, a heffer there. A friendly looking dude. And there in the middle table, all alone, was the 2D girl.
His moment had come.
At this point in time, Mic, unfortunately, wasn't sure if he wanted to sit by the girl. It was the perfect opportunity to introduce himself again, and he was walking towards the middle of the room. He had to act quickly - at the last moment, he sat at an almost full table instead and introduced himself. Some dude named Andrew knew about some wrestling and they quickly made loud and obnoxious talk about mangrapple, so as to let any ladies within 500 feet know they were unworthy of talking to.
Instantly, Michael knew he had made the wrong choice -Andrew was funny, but he didn't have ****. A few girls ended up sitting by 2D that day, and that was it - Michael wouldn't be able to just randomly sit at the 2D table for the rest of the semester. That would be preposterous. Throw off everything.
And as luck would have it, the first few weeks of semester Michael went home after school and work every night and laid in bed with his hands behind his head, staring at his dark ceiling, hating his life.
And so Michael spent the rest of his days alone, pondering his life and purchasing rope in bulk.
At least until September, because then one day he randomly talked to her outside of class..
It was the perfect line he thought -
"HEY DIDN'T YOU GO TO MY HIGH SCHOOL?"
"Uh, I don't think so."
Anyway, Michael made some headway that day - they were from the same town and were both good looking. It would be easier to talk to her now that he had his foot in the door, so to speak.
That night, he went home and watched wrestling with a silly grin on his face. He started printing up wedding invitations and told all his KMC friends he had a girlfriend.
He went to check out the latest music and saw to his surprise a picture of 2D girl staring him back in the face from iTunes. There was no way!
It was a free single from 2D girl - single of the week or something. He quickly downloaded that shee and played it at 900 decibels. It wasn't 2D - just a girl who looked eerily similar. Eleanor Friedberger.
And from that moment on, 2D and EF were intertwined, one and the same.
It wouldn't be long until that two became three.
The days turned to weeks, and intermittent small talk with his future wife continued, though Michael was apprehensive about asking her out. What if she said no, or worse, was XYZ in drag?
His thoughts carried him to early November, when he visited Chicago to see his brother or something. On the plane over, he looped the Deadly Syndrome and got lost in thoughts of marriage to 2D. Oh boy, would he rub it in KMC's face. As the trip wore on, Michael began to feel feels and got very sad.
It was time to ask the DD out.
Unfortunately she didn't show up to class until like Thanksgiving haermm, at which point semester was almost over. Luckily, Michael and 2D were placed in the same final project group. He was working on some dumb crap about a country. It was amazing - it would almost definitely be more work than anyone else in the class was doing - but it wasn't a ring and baby with the girl of his dreams.
One cold winter day in Cedar City, the class met and the groups converged to critique in-progress pieces. As luck would have it, Michael sat right next to 2D. Oh man she smelled good.
He reluctantly showed off his work to the group. She was really impressed haermm.
And so as Thanksgiving break started, Michael went south to St. George to work on that shee and polish it up to really knock her socks off as the semester ended.
Originally posted by Thoren
When does the massive fail in not being able to talk to 2d, and your obsession with a shemale start?
Originally posted by Barkerlaughcry
The days turned to weeks, and intermittent small talk with his future wife continued, though Michael was apprehensive about asking her out. What if she said no, or worse, was XYZ in drag?
But also disturbing for XYZ's sake. haermm