King of the Thoren

Thoren Herb was in the backstreet, downing a cool, refreshing beer. "Howdy, Kram3r!" said Kram3r a happily surprised Thoren "Want a beer?". "No Doubt about it, throw me of them, gently now" said in his thick, ol' boy Virginian accent. Kram3r moved to Le Paso, Texas to start up his BBQ Products store. He loved Le Paso. "How's the business, Colonel?" said Thoren inquisitively, paying respect to Kram3r's rank and time spent in the Gulf War and US military. "Now now, Call me Kram3r like you did before, no need to flatter me. Business is fine son, mighty fine." said Kram3r sipping from his can. "Good to Kram3r, Did you hear about Barker?" asked Thoren who had only heard the news himself. "What about Mr. Barker did you hear?" inquired Kram3r curiously, raising an eyebrow head slightly turned to Thoren, Rock-style. "He too also set up his OWN BBQ store" parlayed Thoren in a manner of casualness. "He did WHAT, Son!? My God in Heaven, I must talk to Mr. Barker at Once!" a shocked Kram3r proclaimed throwing his beer on the ground, running towards the direction of Mr. Barker's home. "Hey you can't litter on this here Prize-winning backstreet, we keeps it clean!" shouted Thoren at a now distant Kram3r. "Sorry! Talk soon!" bellowed back Kramer now easily almost a mile out.

OH DEAR LORD!!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU OVER THERE!!
OH THE CRUELTY!!!

haermm

Don't mess with Tejas. biscuits

haermm

haermm

Kram3r rules. He is god of all and shall never be questioned. His sexiness and personality are on par with none. If ever given the chance Kram3r will rock thy world five ways from Sunday but not including Mondays. If you haven't come to terms with this then you'll only make things worse.

I am woman hear me roar.

BANG. BANG. BANG. There was someone at the door. "Hold on, hold on, I'm coming!" said Mr. Barker and indeed he was, although not in the manner in which he was professing to to whoever was at the door, as he put his life-sized plush toy of Pikachu aside and answer the door. "This better be important or I'll get my lawy--" Mr. Barker stopped abruptly realizing it was Mr. Kram3r at the door. "Well hello Colonel! How are we on this fine Texas day?" welcomed Mr. Barker "What can I do for you?". There was a slight pause and immediately Mr. Barker felt some tension, a distress in Mr. Kram3r. "Colonel, are you okay?" asked Barker a tad worried. "Yes indeed there is sir, close down your store!" answered Mr. Kram3r angered, but controlled. In an instant it, Mr. Kram3r's presence made sense to Mr. Barker. "Oh, BBQ store? Now why would I do a thing like that? Afraid of a lil friendly competition? Com'on Mr. Kram3r this I thought you wou--", "It's COLONEL Kram3r to you, son" interrupted Kram3r as tension rose. "Alright, you want some friendly competition is that it? Well Mr. Barker, the game is on. Prepare yourself, your ass is going to feel like it went on tour in Folsom after I'm done with you."

I think Barker really does have a blow up pikachu doll. haermm

Originally posted by Thoren
I think Barker really does have a blow up pikachu doll. haermm

Haermm, remember Barkermon?

Yeah.

Barker shit himself the first time he read it, told me so himself.

How the hell do you shit yourself?
Is that when a shit version of youself comes out of your arse made of shit?

I did in fact shit my pants and seat when I read the first 4 words.

haermm

I reported him, nothing happens.

DDM reports me for calling him a moron, I get a ****ing warning. haermm

Because obviously mods are constantly online and at your beck and call.

You really need to change your attitude.

All I have to say is, SO I WENT TO THE SHOP FOR THE SPECIAL MIDNIGHT OPENING OF THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK, IT WAS A COLD DARK NIGHT AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS ABOUT TO RAIN SO I BROUGHT AN UMBRELLA JUST IN CASE SO I WOULDNT GET MY NEW BOOK WET, ANYWAY LIKE I WAS WAITING FOR THE SHOP TO OPEN SO I COULD BUY THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK CALLED HARRY POTTER AND THE SIVIENCE OF THE ANCIENT MONARCHS BUT THEY TOLD ME THE BOOK WASNT WRITTEN YET AND I SAID **** AND WENT HOME.

Originally posted by silver_tears
All I have to say is, SO I WENT TO THE SHOP FOR THE SPECIAL MIDNIGHT OPENING OF THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK, IT WAS A COLD DARK NIGHT AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS ABOUT TO RAIN SO I BROUGHT AN UMBRELLA JUST IN CASE SO I WOULDNT GET MY NEW BOOK WET, ANYWAY LIKE I WAS WAITING FOR THE SHOP TO OPEN SO I COULD BUY THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK CALLED HARRY POTTER AND THE SIVIENCE OF THE ANCIENT MONARCHS BUT THEY TOLD ME THE BOOK WASNT WRITTEN YET AND I SAID **** AND WENT HOME.

That 'Mist,' such a funny boy herbvin

Chapter One: My name is Kram3r, stranger.

It's night time here, in ol' Sydney town. It's a peaceful night -- a peaceful Saturday night. the city is alive with people my age "getting it on" and "sipping back a few" and "giving oral sex" and "barfing on the side walk for the city council cleaners to wash off Sunday morning". Yes, Sydney is a fine woman with breasts like a pregnant Grizzly Bear lactating ever so quietly in the woods. So, the question begs at my feet and yours, fine readers. Why am I here? Well, that's a good question, and one I assume that will be answered in due time.

See, I'm what they call a man. Now, as a man, I have a fine coat of hair that extends from my head to my face to give me a rich, full look. A look that says "Hey, you're alright." and you know what? I am. Oh, but the hair doesn't stop here. The hair grows. It grows around my belly button, where once my mother fed me. The diet wasn't too good, but I admired the hospitality. I also have hair around my genitals, probably not the most ideal place to grow as it covers the full view of my penis but, when I shave, boy am I surprised. It's like mowing the lawn and finding that football that gave you your first touchdown -- Magnificent.

Ever smoked a cigarette? A cigar? Some weed? Or perhaps for those in lower income districts, a crack pipe? Well not me, no. No sir, I'm a clean man. In this game, you've got to keep your wits about you. If you don't, you'll die, and frankly, I don't want to be six feet under with Nonna Dentice who once embarrassed me by wearing her old Ballet outfit. That's a true story. That woman had hands like a Ox. One tug and she could rip your arm off. What I guess I'm trying to express is that, be live O' citizens of New Earth! That saying will ring ever true as I reveal more.

Originally posted by silver_tears
All I have to say is, SO I WENT TO THE SHOP FOR THE SPECIAL MIDNIGHT OPENING OF THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK, IT WAS A COLD DARK NIGHT AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS ABOUT TO RAIN SO I BROUGHT AN UMBRELLA JUST IN CASE SO I WOULDNT GET MY NEW BOOK WET, ANYWAY LIKE I WAS WAITING FOR THE SHOP TO OPEN SO I COULD BUY THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK CALLED HARRY POTTER AND THE SIVIENCE OF THE ANCIENT MONARCHS BUT THEY TOLD ME THE BOOK WASNT WRITTEN YET AND I SAID **** AND WENT HOME.

ilufu