Pissing contest
Thanos and Darkseid are hanging out having a couple Bloody Mary's, because even bad guys need to unwind now and again. After awhile they're both getting an argument over which one of the two is more evil. Thanos then smugly states "Dude, I got this. My old lady has The Living Tribunal on speed dial, all I gotta do is make one phone call and he'll straighten this sh*t out." Darkseid replies"Word? Even I've heard of The Living Tribunal and I live in a sh*tty little podunk Universe that hangs it's hat on the most annoyingly holier than thou person to ever put on tights." Thanos then remarks "Sh*t negro, I don't know how it is back home in the sticks, but over here, I keep these b*tches on lock down. That's just how I roll." After a few more drinks Thanos phones home, and much to his delight, the Living Tribunal happens to be over returning the platter he borrowed last Christmas and as luck would have it is more than happy to be the designated driver. Upon arrival the two bickering despots climb into the back of the Trib's van and resume their argument. After hearing both sides the Tribunal issues his decision.
Pick a side, who do you think would win and how would they prove that they are more evil?