It snowed last night

mi casa es su casa

You mean your moms house?

Tomato, tamato

No I don't think so

chinga tu casa

I got molested in the elevator today

reported it to HR

Nah I kind of liked it.

double reported then

It didn't happen today

was she a qt pie

I don't speak idiot.

did she look like ee ef

don't worry, the black dude looked like a gay hipster

that does little to calm my nerves

fool

So I go into the gas station hoping to score a small bag of chips for cheap, thinking like 80 cents or a dollar, nothing too fancy

turns out they have this bigass "NOW BIGGER SIZE" bags for fatasses that are $1.50 and I'm all mmm but I have no choice but to get it because my jimmy johns needs salt and vinegar

but why can't i just buy a smaller bag for less money? I'm not that damn fat

salt and vinegar? what are you, a ******?

michael likes his chips salty

Get munchos