me and my friends literature idea

Laugh My and My friends comic book idea

Name could change-->Shadow’s game
PROLOG
In the year 3000 a strange event called known as the apocalypse caused earth quakes of massive sizes all around the globe shook all the continents in to one large land mass now called Gaia it also resulted in flooding and resulted in mass destruction and death. this was all a result of the earth tilting off its old 90 degree axis on to a new one at a nearly 135 degrees. The tip of Southern hemisphere is now always facing the sun and the tip of the northern hemisphere is free of light. This devastation caused a worldwide revolution called rebirth. All former civilization collapsed and a new united civilization called Gaian emerged. With the entire world working together science has advanced much faster. In the year 4000 The entire population has agreed to believe in Gaia, mother earth, without the influences of multiple religions causing conflict between the people the humans know peace. there are sect dedicated to other religions but these are very rare.
That is until the discovery of a two new regions, now titled the ring of flames and the ring of ice in the year 6000. Both rings are unable to be traveled to because of the intense heat and cold. A few months after trying to venture to these rings the blue sky turned dark red. The thick red color marched across the sky the people confused sent planes to find out the cause. In seconds it was shot down and the red wave came crashing down to land. Weird creature attacked the people, having no means to attack the people ran. The government couldn’t retaliate and the people knew it to be so. That day was to be known forever in history as “The Day the Sky Was BLOOD RED” The rampage of the beasts seemed never ending they marched and flew across Gaia destroying everything. They reached the Ring of ice when all turned to our favor. Totally new beings repelled the beast. They set out across the world to fix their destruction and make sure all the bests went back to their world. In a day a month of destruction was fixed almost all forgotten. The beings stated that they refuse to bring back the dead and don’t want to do this again so they gave us some of their power. That day was known as “The BLUE MARCH.” the blue creatures also claimed the worldwide apocalypse millions of years ago was caused by the demons attempting to breach a portal into the world of the living, the first resulted in the extinction of the dinosaurs, the second the ice age, and the rest resulted in minor changes in reality we hadn't noticed, while the most recent resulted in the apocalypse except this time the portal worked and the demons forced their way into our dimension.
The beast attack regularly so the government established cities closer to the south for military proposes. Scientist known as sorcerers studied the powers and figured out how to use it to the max potential creating things out of nothing and even enhancing one’s natural abilities and the strength of objects such as swords. With this knew knowledge the military cities turned in to schools where one learned to master his or her powers. Because of the time and difficulty it takes to master suck things known as magic and advanced sword play children are taught to harness their powers because of their large capacity for learning things.
this is the general story the actual writing my friend came up with is up next

Gender:
Location:

HI my name is Sam I’m a normal sized girl with normal length hair and I wear a uniform daily, its black jeans white shirt and black sweater. I am absolutely normal. I go to Sahara Invention School of the Arts its one of the most famous boarding schools in all of Gaia. Here we learn the most advanced techniques before we go out in the world as adult sorcerers. From the age of 5 we train to e come walking weapons, to stop total emotional deterioration we take normal classes such as math history and science as well as our training course. The school ranks students by a star system. The better star grades the more allowance you get. All allowances are really big it’s just the lower star grades get little to spend on extra fun and luxuries. There are 4 ranks 1 star 2 star 3 star and special star. 1-3 stars are just normal students 1 stars are kids who can enhance there own abilities like speed. 2 stars can enhance and change objects like making a burning sword or a rusty sword work like a new one. 3 stars can create things from nothing and even summon monsters to help fight. To be a 2 or 3 star you don’t need to have mastered what is standard and what is below it just the standard in necessary for example 3 tars only need to be able to create things nothing more the reason being that this skill is higher on the chart than enhancement. Special stars are those who are way higher than the normal kids and they get sent to do on the field studies. To be a special star you have to far exceed in any ability even if it’s just self enhancement. It’s rare for someone to become one so each class doesn’t even have 1 kid of that level. The second term of 8th grade has just started just a little ways more until the end of the year and no one has shown any signs of being a special in my class
STORY
CHAPTER 1-arrivel
I reach out to turn off my alarm clock. I get out of bed, shower, grab breakfast and head off to school. I sit in my seat and drift back to sleep. A girl runs over to my desk screaming. “Sam Sam Sam wake up wake up I got news.” I wake. “What do you want Julie.” Julie continues. She’s my best friend number 2 a short girl with glasses and same uniform as me she has one red eye and one blue one. “There will be two new students.” “SO?” I say. “Why does that need to be known?” “THERE GUYS DUR” Julie shouts. “Normally I’d be all giddy with you but I had a bad dream. The one I haven’t had in a while.” I sigh. Oh Julie says while putting her arm around Sam. A boy appears behind me. “What dream?” “Jake don’t do that” I say with anger” This is Jake he’s my best friend number 3. He’s taller than me but isn’t a giant. He has messy hair and is left handed. Once again same uniform but he has dress pants. “Okay okay okay” Jake repeats. “What Dream?” “Its long you don’t want to hear it” I lay back down. “I do now tell.” Jake commands. “Fine.” I start to tell my dream. “I’m a little kid again maybe 5. It’s raining hard outside. I’m on my bedroom floor and then this weird kid is standing at the door. His lips move but I’m too afraid to hear his words he slowly comes closer and closer. He sits in front of me and looks in my eyes. He keeps talking but I don’t listen. He raises his hand up close to my face then kisses my forehead and I then wake up screaming and my parents come in to the room. That’s it” “Creepy” Jake says “when exactly did you start to have that dream” “whenever something bad comes along” Julie says. “So she’s some old women with a sick sense to sense danger.” Jake's jokes. “YES.” I say. “Well let’s not focus on it” Julie says. “okay.” Jake and I say. School goes on normally homeroom, history, then math, lunch, science, and training (gym). Julie and I head to the dorms, shower then sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary happened before bed. But that night I had I dream. Everything was blurry but I could make some things out. There was a tall boy my age was standing over me, everything was burning around us; he reached out his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me close, I couldn’t really make out his face and I didn’t want to. I felt safe there but I was still afraid of him.
“OK class let me in traduce the new students. Said Ms. Home. They both used to live in the nearby city and moved before they were old enough to be enrolled in school. But I should let them talk about themselves. Guys come in now” Too tall guys walked in they were almost exactly the same but exactly different. The 1st one was a guy clad in white armor with a serious face wearing white computer gauntlets and hover armor boots. His helmet had a visual visor but no mouth cover. And he had a large broad sword. The second was clad in what seemed to be hi-tech but gothic armor with a creepy smile with computer claws and jet skates with retractable wheels. He had head phones on, the bridge connecting the speakers acted as a screen and shades; He had a black katana on his waist. “Hello I’m light oblivion of the holy order of the disciples of the blue men” the 1st boy said with a high and mighty tone “I know oblivion is very weird of some one of the order. Oh I’m getting ahead of myself for those who don’t know the order is a group who use pure “light” magic and believe in the blue men who save us so long ago. I personally have reached the top class in the order, blue man, so I am in search of more knowledge from this school.” “That’s lovely HEHE” said the second with a dark jokey sarcastic tone with lots “I am…. DARK yea dark creation... of the dark union. It’s just like the holy order but we believe magic should be based on the demonic power that can easily destroy any thing and not magic that restores things . I have also ascended the ranks of the union and have been titled demon. I hope you all welcome us to your school HEHE.” “Any questions for the new kids.” Said Ms. Home. “If not you guess can talk amongst your selves for the rest of the period.” “Lovely HEHE” said dark as he walked to one of the empty seats. “That’s a very nice catch phrase you got their dark” said light “I have no idea what you're talking about” he said sarcastically. the class soon crowded the two guys asking all sorts of questions seeing if they would want to eat lunch with them. Basically all they are doing is annoying the new guys. “I have this feeling that dark has his eyes on me” I said to Jake and Julie the only two not crowding the guys. “Yea right” said Jake. “You can’t even see the guy’s eyes only that visor” “well that’s why it’s creepy” I said a bit too loud.
CHAPRTER 1- END
This is part 2 this is this the first part of the actual story, take note that we are very young and my friend is not the best writer, but he insisted he should write it anyways i will be posting my own story soon, so dont touch that dial big grin

It didn’t seem like any one cared but Ms. Home was glaring at me “well I still feel his stare on me.” “He’s talking to the crowd he’s surely not looking at you” said Julie “so calm down your crazy.” “ nope she’s right HEHE” said dark who snuck up behind me. I yelled and fell out of my seat, he even caught me while I was falling in the opposite direction of him. “HEHE don’t get up on my account” “…That smile is creepy” I said “right again HEHE” he stated “you are good at describing creepy things” the crowed just noticed that he was no longer was there. “Um how did you do that” said a random kid “my secret , if i tell you im going to have to kill you.”he said back . the boy smiled but then quickly stopped "no laugh holy crap are you serious". no answer. “you could put me down now” I said shyly. He picked me up higher and held me like a princess. I clung to him instantly and he said. “HEHE but I finely found you why would I let go” his smile became less creepy and more well normal and I was blushing like a little girl. “hehe…..I mean that’s sweet but I have a fear of heights.” I said “awww that’s C U T E” while that creepy smile came back. “I bet you don’t like the attention you’re getting now anyway not that you realize it.” “What attention" I said as he put me down. Then I saw that the whole class was staring. I immediately blush. I also realize his last sentence was off as I saw him walking back to his seat. “Dark you didn’t say HEHE in your last sentence.” He looked at me “ true” the sat down and the crowd just looked at us. First at him then at me and back to him, the questions continued now some about me and him going out in the past. Which doesn’t make much sense, they all knew me since I was 6. I guess that’s school a bunch of stupid questions. “so you got a new boyfriend while I was gone aHeHe” said Jake attempting to mimic dark jokingly. “I mean it’s cool and all but I wish I knew aHeHe” I just smacked him instead of giving an answer.
Those two sure showed their worth in every class. History they knew all the answers. In math they solved all the problems. And in training…actually in training they didn’t do much as they didn’t have any star category. They just surfed the web I wish could do that.the strange thing was when real classes started and they took of their armor they looked weird it was strange but it was true.but when battle exercises started and they replaced their armor it felt normal again. Sigh I have to work even harder being a 1 star and all so is Julie by the way. Jake on the other hand is a 2 star so he gets it a bit easier it still hard but slightly less reps. “okay class enough running get over here” said Mr. J “okay that was a good run but you have to pick up the pace. Who wants to demonstrate true speed.” Normally no one would volunteer but I felt it in my gut that they would want to try. When looked back I was right. “So the freshmen want to try, good we can make this a race.” Mr. J was happy. “Now run the course hmm” “how about 50 times” said light. Mr. J snickered “so you thing you a think you're a speed demon well fine but do it without the boots” Mr. J pointed at dark “and you no skates” dark looked at Mr. J and said “ if we blow your mind give the class the rest of the period as free time HEHE” MR.J was now ready to work them to the bone. “Make it 100 and sure. Get in position.” They just stood at the line waiting.these guys seriously seemed to cool to be normal people. they had no running stances. they just waited for him to say go. The class was silent ready to sit and relax as they watch the two new cocky students sweat. “GO” Mr. J shouted. They started to walk. The class laughed. They kept walking for a bit more then ZOOM. They took off neck and neck, every time they got to the start they went faster and faster in no time what would take the class an hour. the class wasn't laughing anymore.They were done in 4 minutes. The class was shocked MR. J even more so “um well that was excellent…class that was a brilliant example of speed needed to win a battle. Um wow any questions?” “Why were you guys walking in the beginning” I asked. “to synchronize our movements. So we finish at the same time.” Light answered. “Oh’ I replied “thanks for answering” “class” Mr. J said called “you can have free time now, all 60 minutes” dark laughed “HEHE” “SO Sam was it. I noticed you running before and your form was perfect.” Light completed me. “Thank you but I don’t believe that I get so tiered running” I said to him. “Well that can be changed” light stated “I can help you by showing you some tips so you can raise your star level.” “That would be awesome…but could you show me and Julie some tips I couldn’t lever her at 1 star.” I looked at him with puppy eyes. He didn’t even make a smirk. “You don’t have to beg I would gladly help you both” “YAY lets start now. HEY Julie come here” I shouted. The rest of that period we learned some tips from light. While we were training I saw Jake head over to dark and they had a heated conversation…..well Jake seemed heated while dark took pleasure in his rage. I couldn’t hear what they said but seemed important because Jake was really angry.in a way dark seemed like a jerk but one of those likeable jerks. Later that day after school I asked Jake what happened and he said he didn’t know what I was talking about. Julie said she saw him to but he just denied it and ran away saying he had to be somewhere. Julie and I walked to the dorms on the way we saw dark and light talking. “Hey guys” Julie and I shouted. They waved “why are together so much” I asked “HEHE we’re roommates so we decided it’s best to be friendly to one another.” Dark said “yes that is true it was also decided that we should hang out together. If you girls want we could all hang out together.” “Sorry guys we have to go” Julie said quickly. And we walked away me waving bye. Them returning to the conversation they were having. At the dorms ready for bed I asked Julie why she didn’t want to hang out. “so” “Because” she cut me off before I could ask “they both want you and if you hang out with them you’d mess up their friendship just as fast as it started.” “no” I started. “yes” she cut me off again “they do want you think about what dark did in homeroom then what light did in gym. They find you attractive i guess.” “But” I tried to respond “yes you’re normal and they’re amazing but it’s said opposites attract. Now let’s not talk about this anymore okay. Night.” She turns her back to me and tries to sleep “…” I open my mouth “oh and I know you hate when I answer you be for you finish. But face it I’m your best friend and I know what you’re going to say hehe” I gave up and when to bed “night.” As I thought about the day I felt happy. But the dream made me sad again I don’t know why but the dream with the weird kid came back but it was clearer. Like that kid was closer to me somehow. did light and dark really like me?
CHAPRTER 1- END

this is the final part

please give some good critiques and say whatever u think we should change becuz i desperately wish for ur comments

The plot is good and the general story could be developed into a really good book but you are correct about your writing. I think you need to list your characters and the parts they play plus an overall plot. You also need to consider what questions the reader will want answered such as the role the beasts and blue guardians play both on earth and between each other, and why they are interested in our planet. have a think and put it on this thread