Originally posted by rudester
Some kids need it. My nefew is a brat, but he's only 4 and is as tall as an 8 year old. My parents spoil him, my sister.. Is a bad mother. She buys him everything he doesn't need and it really has to do with giving him watever he wants, that can damage a kid later on in life. But I'm sure he will grow out of it. Hopefully!
I argee some kids do need it. Some kids don't. But I don't see how putitng your kid in time out or going to there room would help anything. Sometimes a good spankin is all they need. 🙂
I feel that some children need to be spanked when they are little brats, such as throwing a toy at my head, or saying bad word, and just endless crying for nothing deserves a spank or cold shower.
Corner/time outs are for when guest are over, eveyone knows that. laughcry
My experience with little kids some, are just brats and need to be dealt with and others respond good with just talking to them like an adult.
Originally posted by Kharhmah
Fyi, there's a huge difference between "beating" your kids, and giving them a clip round the ear 'ole..Jus' sayin'
Not to say that you shouldn't punish bad behavior. But there's a difference between grounding, and exerting physical punishment. If you don't have the self-control to not hit a physically inferior children--with no means of defending themselves--when you're inclined to, then you're not fit to be a parent, and you belong in prison.
I'm not a nationalist by any stretch, but I'm proud that Sweden was the first country to outlaw child chastise. I was never hit by my patents as a child. I understand why people want to justify their parents actions, but from what I've seen a lot of the people in this thread that admit to have been hit by their parents rarely displays normal behavior and are rather quick to wish the pain and suffering of others.
The consensus among psychologists is that corporeal punishment is destructive. Dr. Alice Miller wrote a book called: "For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence" I'd recommend people to read it.
Originally posted by Astner
No it's not. If you raise your hand against your child you've failed as a parent.Not to say that you shouldn't punish bad behavior. But there's a difference between grounding, and exerting physical punishment. If you don't have the self-control to not hit a physically inferior children--with no means of defending themselves--when you're inclined to, then you're not fit to be a parent, and you belong in prison.
I'm not a nationalist by any stretch, but I'm proud that Sweden was the first country to outlaw child chastise. I was never hit by my patents as a child. I understand why people want to justify their parents actions, but from what I've seen a lot of the people in this thread that admit to have been hit by their parents rarely displays normal behavior and are rather quick to wish the pain and suffering of others.
The consensus among psychologists is that corporeal punishment is destructive. Dr. Alice Miller wrote a book called: "For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence" I'd recommend people to read it.
I remember when I was about 7, I started breaking stuff. Why? Dunno. My mom (who is the sternest woman you'll meet) kept on yelling and punishing me, but I just wouldn't stop. So one day she grabbed me and slapped my bottom like it owed her money, and guess what? BAM, no more breaking things. And at the same time, I still love my mom.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
I remember when I was about 7, I started breaking stuff. Why? Dunno. My mom (who is the sternest woman you'll meet) kept on yelling and punishing me, but I just wouldn't stop. So one day she grabbed me and slapped my bottom like it owed her money, and guess what? BAM, no more breaking things. And at the same time, I still love my mom.
Just because the "BAM" prevented you from continue to break things and that you consciously still love your mother does not mean that it was without destructive influence, or that it couldn't have been accomplished in any other way. Also to some degree it seems that you're sugarcoating the story, as parents who hit their children tend to reenact said behavior.
There's nothing to argue. If your parents as much as pinched you or grabbed you by the ear as punishment, then they were not fit to be parents, and their ignorance or lack of education in terms of psychology is no excuse.
Originally posted by Astner
Sitting in the sofa yelling "You're grounded mister!" is not how you punish a seven year-old. You sit down with them and you explain the situation to them, of how the money that could've be used for toys now has to go to replacing the broken items. Now, why you started to break stuff at the age of seven is not random either, but a consequence of seven years of bad parenting. See, behavior modification comes as early six months after birth, and some would argue even sooner. A normal seven year-old would not break things because he was thought at an earlier age that breaking a toy, or a dinner plate has negative consequences.Just because the "BAM" prevented you from continue to break things and that you consciously still love your mother does not mean that it was without destructive influence, or that it couldn't have been accomplished in any other way. Also to some degree it seems that you're sugarcoating the story, as parents who hit their children tend to reenact said behavior.
There's nothing to argue. If your parents as much as pinched you or grabbed you by the ear as punishment, then they were not fit to be parents, and their ignorance or lack of education in terms of psychology is no excuse.
Yes, reasoning with a 7 year old will do wonders 🙄
Sorry, but I do spank my children when explaining to them what they did wrong fails.
Originally posted by Astner
Also to some degree it seems that you're sugarcoating the story, as parents who hit their children tend to reenact said behavior.
Ok, THIS is where I tell you to go **** yourself. You do NOT know the difference between teaching a kid and abuse. Guess what? I do. I've had both, and my mom at no point EVER hurt me. And yes, that was the only time that she ever spanked me. I say that with a drop of reality, not sugar. Giving a little shit a spank is not at all the same as beating a child. I should know. And my mom never hurt me in her life.
And if your parents never hit you, they probably should've, considering what type of condescending asswipe you've turned out to be.
Originally posted by Astner
No it's not. If you raise your hand against your child you've failed as a parent.
Do you have children? Who are you to tell people they have failed as parent if a parent decides to spank their child for being a little brat? No one is saying beat the child till they are black and blue and need medical attention.
Watch this kid, he throws a tantrum and take his mom over 3 mins to get his ass in the car. This would have ended faster and he would have cooled down faster if she would have raised his voice at him and given him a spank, not a hard one, just enough so they know we tired talking it didn't work out, so now its a spank.
When you have your own kids, then come back to this thread and preach what you just said.
Originally posted by Leo.M
Do you have children? Who are you to tell people they have failed as parent if a parent decides to spank their child for being a little brat? No one is saying beat the child till they are black and blue and need medical attention.Watch this kid, he throws a tantrum and take his mom over 3 mins to get his ass in the car. This would have ended faster and he would have cooled down faster if she would have raised his voice at him and given him a spank, not a hard one, just enough so they know we tired talking it didn't work out, so now its a spank.
When you have your own kids, then come back to this thread and preach what you just said.
I agree and disagree. It depends on the child...and the cultural context is important (that's what the science shows). I would say a very calm parent that had told the child what exactly they were doing wrong and then gave a single spanking to the child's bottom would be okay. It may not be the most effective method, either, but the research does show that method to be as effective as any other discipline method (IF it is done with an explanation in a very calm and controlled manner and a consequence is communicated beforehand).
However, there are alternative methods to discipline the child, as well, that are just as effective (and some science shows it to be more effective) in disciplining the child. In this case, that means that the child's behavior change should be gauged against multiple disciplinary techniques to find the most effective one for a specific behavior. Parenting is much more scientific and complicated than many parents believe.
BTW, my son is very well behaved and my daughter is quite naughty. Even with awesome knowledge that took me ages to study for and acquire, you still can't stop a child from being naughty if they refuse to behave: they have their own free will. Part of the problem in my home is the lack of my presence in the disciplinary process: my wife is extremely passive and a major pushover. I was there more to discipline my son, during his toddler years. 🙁
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
And if your parents never hit you, they probably should've, considering what type of condescending asswipe you've turned out to be.
I disagree: he would probably have responded better to privilege deprivation rather than corporeal punishment. I also believe part of his problem was empty threats from his guardians: they would threaten but not follow through.
Astern, do you agree with my assessment?
Originally posted by dadudemon
No you haven't.
Originally posted by socool8520
Yes, reasoning with a 7 year old will do wonders 🙄
Originally posted by socool8520
Sorry, but I do spank my children when explaining to them what they did wrong fails.
Originally posted by Leo.M
Who are you to tell people they have failed as parent if a parent decides to spank their child for being a little brat?
Originally posted by Leo.M
No one is saying beat the child till they are black and blue and need medical attention.
Originally posted by Leo.M
Watch this kid, he throws a tantrum and take his mom over 3 mins to get his ass in the car. This would have ended faster and he would have cooled down faster if she would have raised his voice at him and given him a spank, not a hard one, just enough so they know we tired talking it didn't work out, so now its a spank.
Secondly. Did the mother hit the child? No. She didn't.
Furthermore it's sickening that your justification for beating a child is to save three minutes.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Ok, THIS is where I tell you to go **** yourself. You do NOT know the difference between teaching a kid and abuse.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Guess what? I do. I've had both, and my mom at no point EVER hurt me. And yes, that was the only time that she ever spanked me.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
And if your parents never hit you, they probably should've, considering what type of condescending asswipe you've turned out to be.
Originally posted by Astner
Yes you have. There's absolutely no need to ever hit a child.It will.
Then you've failed as a parent.
I'm educated.
Neither am I. I'm speaking of child chastise, which is anything from a pinching.
First and foremost, that child is diagnosed with autism, oppositional defiant disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder according to the description of the video. It's not a normal situation, nor something that every parent has to deal with.
Secondly. Did the mother hit the child? No. She didn't.
Furthermore it's sickening that your justification for beating a child is to save three minutes.
Well clearly you didn't turn out to be the most level headed in the lot, now did you? Subsequently strengthening my position.
Please look up the definition of the word "hurt", because you're misusing it.
Let's see. I'm well educated, I'm confident, I'm extrovert, I have a girlfriend, like-minded friends, and I love my family. Oh, and I don't turn frantic over others' standards.
Glad you responded.
But what about the portions of my post above that one?
Read that very last part I addressed from Mr. Am I right? Am I wrong?
Originally posted by Astner
Well clearly you didn't turn out to be the most level headed in the lot, now did you? Subsequently strengthening my position.
Notice how I wasn't the one who took a cheap shot and defined it 'logical' to further a point. Level headed I may not be, but at least I'm not manipulative, cold, and conclusion jumping.
Please look up the definition of the word "hurt", because you're misusing it.
"To cause physical damage or pain to; injure."
I was never given a physical damage, nor was I injured. Physical action does not immediately create damage.
"To cause mental or emotional suffering to; distress."
None of that happened at all.
Interesting, I'm STILL right.
Let's see. I'm well educated, I'm confident, I'm extrovert, I have a girlfriend, like-minded friends, and I love my family. Oh, and I don't turn frantic over others' standards.
You seem to have forgotten pompous, rude, quick to judge, thinking you are smarter than you really are just because you have strong grammatical prowess, and use "girlfriend, friends, and love my family" like that's different from any other human in modern society.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
You seem to have forgotten pompous, rude, quick to judge, thinking you are smarter than you really are just because you have strong grammatical prowess, and use "girlfriend, friends, and love my family" like that's different from any other human in modern society.
lol
I didn't know you could bring the pwn hammer. You're always really nice and laid back.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
[B}You seem to have forgotten pompous, rude, quick to judge, thinking you are smarter than you really are just because you have strong grammatical prowess, and use "girlfriend, friends, and love my family" like that's different from any other human in modern society. [/B]
This is what WIN looks like 😆