Darth Vader Vs The Care Bears

The Dark lord of the Sith, right hand man to Palpatine, faces off against the Care Bears on Hoth.
He commands the attacking forces seen being unleashed in Empire Strikes Back.

Can he stop the Care Bears and preserve the dignity of the Empire, or will the Care Bears be the fluffy, saccharineish downfall of Palpatines forces in an insurrection that would make the Ewok battle of Endor look like Wookies Vs Stormtroopers complete with arms getting pulled out of sockets, and beheadings.?

Who wins?

What does the Care Bear Stare do, anyway?

Seems to depend on the individual power of the bear using it.

http://carebears.wikia.com/wiki/Care_Bear_Stare

F**k em up Bear definitely had different powers to Tenderheart bear, for example.
Just as rip-of-their-heads-and-shit-down-their-neckhole bear differered a bit from Love-a-lot-bear.

Originally posted by Impediment
What does the Care Bear Stare do, anyway?

destroy Vader 😄

While the Hoth forces didn't seem nearly as incompetent as the forces on Endor, I don't think they can defeat the combined might of all the Care Bears.

Vader's the most ****ed here though, he's easily susceptible to being changed back to the Light side, as that's part of what a Care Bear stare can do. I can see him going down to a combo blast from Tenderheart Bear and Love-A-Lot Bear, likely while he's busy choking out Birthday Bear and putting Sea Friend Bear under the sabre.

As grown men, we shouldn't know the names and abilities of these f*cking bears.

This is what happens when you have kids.

Originally posted by Impediment
As grown men, we shouldn't know the names and abilities of these f*cking bears.

This is what happens when you have kids.

Tell your wife Sodomy Bear is coming to "stare" at her tonight.

Originally posted by Impediment
As grown men, we shouldn't know the names and abilities of these f*cking bears.

This is what happens when you have kids.

as well as nieces and nephews who watched the Care Bears

Originally posted by Impediment
As grown men, we shouldn't know the names and abilities of these f*cking bears.

This is what happens when you have kids.

I remember the cartoon's existence, but I do admit Im having to be googling it on this one myself.

And from what I can see, the Care Bears also have to voice activate their stare with their leader announcing that the stare is on, then they get in a line and unleash their voodoo.
I bet blaster bolts can shut em up before that point and Vader can crush larynx with chokes/force throw his lightsabre at Care Bear head/neck level, giving some levelling up possibility...

Yes i reckon that the air would be tainted by seared bear flesh and singed hair before they could turn him...
Worth also remembering too is that Vader only turned because of Luke.
As far as we know at this point, Vader never fathered any Care Bears. (Although that could yet happen in the CW cartoon judging by its hideous tone..)

YouTube video Remember this? 😛