Count Dooku v The Occupants of the Millennium Falcon

Combatants:

The legendary Jedi Master, feared Sith Lord, respected political separatist and Yoda’s ”greatest student", Count Dooku (Revenge of the Sith incarnation)

versus

The occupants of the Millennium Falcon, circa 0 BBY:
- Han Solo
- Princess Leia Organa (with blaster)
- Chewbacca (with bowcaster)
- Luke Skywalker
- Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi

Setting: The Millennium Falcon

The towering hull of the Invisible Hand was drawing ever-closer. "I have a bad feeling about this," Solo muttered, resigned to the fact that despite his years as one of the greatest smugglers in the galaxy, there would no escaping the tractor beam he had become entangled in.

Behind him, the venerable Kenobi got to his feet.

"We must leave," the Jedi Master whispered. "This ship belongs to Count Dooku." His voice was soft, but Solo heard a decided note of urgency. And fear.

"There's no way I'm abandoning this old girl! They'll bring us on board, and we'll fight our way off. Simple."

"You don't understand!" Kenobi was visibly shaken now. "There is no way we can simply 'fight our way off'. This ship belongs to Count Dooku. The most powerful and feared force practitioner that has ever been. We won't win."

Han decided better than to make a cheap remark about old magic tricks. The gravity of the situation was becoming clear.

"What shall we do?"

"There are alternatives to fighting. This is a smuggler ship, no?"

"The best in the galaxy."

"Good. We hide in the smuggling compartments, and ambush the Count once he comes on board. We have the high ground, as it were." Kenobi forced a weak smile.

"That's foolish. I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."

"Who's more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him? It is the only way. Once Count Dooku makes his way on board, we wait for the opportune moment, and then surprise him. With the element os surprise we are doomed! We must gather the others and hide. Quickly!"

Dooku curbstomps. Welcome back.

This is only slightly better than Dooku vs Old Kenobi.

Dooku TKs the neyophytes then takes down old Kenobi in sabers.

Dooku fries everyone but Obi-Wan and takes him down in sabers.

If Obi Wan was unable to beat Dooku with the help of Anakin in RotS it is highly unlikely that Obi Wan would be able to defeat Dooku without Anakin, especially since, in ANH he specifically told Luke "I am getting too old for this sort of thing."

Based on this, what makes any of you think that Obi Wan would last much longer than any of the others on the Millennium Falcon?

Dooku would also probably want to wait to kill Luke and Leia also, as they are the children of Anakin, so Dooku will have a lot of resentment towards any Skywalker. In my opinion, everybody but Luke, Leia, and Obi Wan die within a minute, including C3PO and R2D2 being fried. Then Obi Wan dies, as Luke and Leia are too weak in the Force at that point to do jackshit to Dooku, so Count pays them no heed until he is finished with Obi Wan.

Finally, drawing on the building fear of the siblings, he says "Now, children of Anakin Skywalker - Or should I say children of Vader - you shall die a short and painful death. Your father was ordered to kill me by his current, and my former master, if not for my secret cloning facilities, I'd be gone. Now, I can exact my revenge. The Skywalker bloodline ends here with you two." And he cuts them down.

Don't critique any of that quote I placed above, I just made shit up that seemed to work.

Originally posted by jmoul
If Obi Wan was unable to beat Dooku with the help of Anakin in RotS it is highly unlikely that Obi Wan would be able to defeat Dooku without Anakin, especially since, in ANH he specifically told Luke "I am getting too old for this sort of thing."

Based on this, what makes any of you think that Obi Wan would last much longer than any of the others on the Millennium Falcon?

Dooku would also probably want to wait to kill Luke and Leia also, as they are the children of Anakin, so Dooku will have a lot of resentment towards any Skywalker. In my opinion, everybody but Luke, Leia, and Obi Wan die within a minute, including C3PO and R2D2 being fried. Then Obi Wan dies, as Luke and Leia are too weak in the Force at that point to do jackshit to Dooku, so Count pays them no heed until he is finished with Obi Wan.

Finally, drawing on the building fear of the siblings, he says "Now, children of Anakin Skywalker - Or should I say children of Vader - you shall die a short and painful death. Your father was ordered to kill me by his current, and my former master, if not for my secret cloning facilities, I'd be gone. Now, I can exact my revenge. The Skywalker bloodline ends here with you two." And he cuts them down.

Don't critique any of that quote I placed above, I just made shit up that seemed to work.

Nigga you high?

Originally posted by Mizukage Yoda
Nigga you high?

Yes, I am very high on cocaine. Learn from me and don't do cocaine. Just remember: Cocaine is one hell of a drug.

Originally posted by jmoul
If Obi Wan was unable to beat Dooku with the help of Anakin in RotS it is highly unlikely that Obi Wan would be able to defeat Dooku without Anakin, especially since, in ANH he specifically told Luke "I am getting too old for this sort of thing."

Based on this, what makes any of you think that Obi Wan would last much longer than any of the others on the Millennium Falcon?

He said that to Luke because he wanted Luke to come with him and learn the ways of the Jedi. He also told Luke that Vader betrayed and murdered his Father. Old Ben was just full of s***

And besides Dooku's much older than Old Ben.

Very true, but still, Old Ben was dumb enough to LET himself get cut in half, even if it was to let Luke get away and to become more powerful than he ever was.

Originally posted by jmoul
Very true, but still, Old Ben was dumb enough to LET himself get cut in half, even if it was to let Luke get away and to become more powerful than he ever was.

That wasn't dumb at all. There was no way he was making it off the Death Star alive once Vader confronted him.

Originally posted by DARTH POWER
Old Ben was just full of s***.

But what he said was true, from a certain point of view.

Dooku wins extremely easily with kenobi being the only one to even last a decent amount of time maybe but his rots self got just wtf owned by dooku and he is out of practice and old by this point so kenobi stands no real chance.

Also rampant Ox, your one of the few people I still recognize on here. Sup? Lol

Originally posted by jmoul
But what he said was true, from a certain point of view.

Many of the truths we cling too depend greatly on our own points of view Amirite???? 💃

Originally posted by ((The_Anomaly))
Many of the truths we cling too depend greatly on our own points of view Amirite???? 💃

Yes youarerite.

Originally posted by ((The_Anomaly))
and old by this point so kenobi stands no real chance.

Unlike Dooku who was very young.