X-men Character Pitch

Think this would make a good character for x-men

Real Name: Jamal Jones
Aliases: Mr Powerhouse
Notable aliases: Dominance Tusk, J.J. Powerhouse, The Paragon
Identity: Secret
Occupation: Adventurer
Legal Status: Citizen of the United States with no known criminal record
Place of Birth: Buffalo, New York
Marital Status: Single
Known Relatives: Steve Jones (father), Anita Jones (mother) Maggie Jones (Sister) Robert Jones (brother)
Base of Operations: (current)Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, Salem Center, Westchester County, (former) Massachusetts Academy (Part Time) X-Force headquarters,
Group Affiliation: (current) X-Men (former) New Mutants (PartTime) X-Force
First Appearance: NEW MUTANTS

History: Jamal Jones is young mutant alpha level mutant with paragon like abilities. When Jamal was a senior in high school his powers manifested after two bullies pushed him into the road unknowing that an 18 wheeler was coming towards him. The 18 wheeler crashed into Jamal's body, however when the semi crashed into Jamal's body the semi crumbled into pieces. Several people were stunned at jamals unharmed body. However as the sun continued to radiate, jamal felt enriched with power. The crowd however feared that jamal was a mutant and a mob formed. The mob attacked jamal and as the mob piled on top of him, with a simple shrug several people as many as thirty were thrown several distance and later hundreds of people began to storm towards jamal, with jamal analyzing that his strength was super human he pounded the ground causing it to cave in with shockwave energy collasping several walls and shattering several glass windows. As people fail into the ground jamal ran for cover after being chased by the authorities. As jamal ran he was cornered by two people from the mob in cars, as jamal jumped in the air he realizedd that he was floating in the air. He then realized he could fly but not control his speed and crash lands in a park playground with a bunch of kids surrounding him asking if he is a mutant. One of the children then coined the name yelling "bye Mr. Powerhouse". Jamal from then on kept a low profile by wearing hats and shades daily. Jamal was unaware he was being watched by professor x. Also jamal was monitored by a sentinel sent by Bolivar Trasktha t determained he was an alpha level mutant.

Sometime later but not to distant jamal had finished college near westchester. After his graduation he found himself in an unexpected battle fending off a powerful enemy however jamal was in for the shock and fight of his life when the enemy was revealed to be the hulk. As the x-men were alerted by cerebro of high level energy surrounding the area. A breaking news report comes on showing jamal holding his own against the hulk surprising the x-team. As the professor sent the team to break up the disturbance , xavier uses cerebro to speak with jamal telepathically helping him use and realize his powers. As he mentioned to jamal what to do, jamal is startled by xavier as to how he knows him and about jamals abilities. The x-men arrive and finally come the hulk as he returns to his banner form. The x-men take jamal with them to the x-mansion after he questions who they are and why the hulk was in westchester. After awhile of training with the x-men and accompaning them on some small to moderate missions involving one where jamal comes into direct conflict with the brotherhood of mutants and jamal finally comfronting the master of magnetism himself magneto to save one of the x-men members. As the fight moves outside the complex jamal is furthermore powered by the moonlight radiation which allows him to stalemate magento and the brotherhood. Jamal later is made an offical member before going undercover to investigate emma frost at her Massachusetts Academy.

During his early training with the team, professor x explains to jamal that his abilites are super-strength, flight and physical invulnerability and shockwave generation. Professor X explains that jamals x-gene allows him to utlize the radiation from the sun and the moon to grant his powers and that his powers increase the closer he is to each making him almost impossible to defeat. Xavier also explains that his body is still human and can suffer damage. A full eclipse would render jamal powerless and he would become like a normal human. Jamal's powers are also drained if underground to deep as when accompained to storm to the morlock tunnel. With his extreme strength jamal has to endure heavy stress to keep his strength in check.

Height: (6 ft. 1 in.)
Weight: 200
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Black
Distinguishing Features: His signature Tan long coat with brown jeans a tight fitted black shirt with a black X across the front middle and stealtoe brown boots.

Strength Level: Superhuman Class 100 (with potential unlimetd strength due to exposure to the sun and the moon)

Known Superhuman Powers: Mr. Powerhouse is a mutant who possesses super-strength, flight and physical invulnerability and shockwave generation. Mr. Powerhouse is imune to all physical attacks and external attacks. Mr. Powerhouse has been known to fly at speeds of 1000 mph and survive a brief misson to chernobyl to neutralize a disturbance before the radiation could affect him because of his invulnerability however he still went through the cleanse process to be decontaminated from nuclear poison and sickness.

Weakness: Extreme levels of nuclear radiation, Lighting/Electricity, certain viruses, toxins and dieases. Mr. Powerhouse is vulnerable to telepathy attacks with only mild resistance. Telekinetic attacks can be effective if the mutant is strong enough as in Jean Grey being of the few that can actually stop Mr. Powerhouse.

Personality: Jamal "Mr. Powerhouse" Jones is a young black american male college graduate with a technology degree. Unlike most mutants even though Mr. Powerhouse is one of the strongest mutants he is very gentle by nature and often feels very nice even when dealing with enemies like the brotherhood and Mr Sinester who are very evil and vow to destroy or turn jamal to the side of evil. Jamal has many friends and is considered one of the friendlist of the group dispite his large intimdating statue. Though he is a very private person he is often seen lending an open ear to other x-men who need to vent. Also his nice spirit brings him to conflict with team members such as wolverine, warpath, cyclops and sometimes emma frost. Although he respects wolverine.

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Simply put. He wouldn't be a good character for X-Men. Too powerful. Too perfect. Too much of a Gary Stu.

Who is gary stu

Gary Stu and Mary Sue is way of calling a male or female character perfect. He has no personality flaws. He's powerful enough to fight Hulk and be okay, he's powerful enough to take on not just the entirety of the Brotherhood, but Magneto at the sametime and stalemate them on his lonesome.

He's a private and quiet person, but is friends with everyone and always has time to lend an ear or shoulder to cry on.

His backstory is the same as hundreds of others. There's nothing original or interesting about him. You just made an uber strong character who has no challenges and can solve most of the X-Men's problems by winning a fight with no problem.

Him being so powerful and amazing and perfect would make him an extremely boring character.

So he is a goody toshu basically. At least he can die unlike some

Not just a goody two shoes. A goody two shoes who is apparently as strong and durable as he needs to be because he's powers infinitely by the sun and moon.

As for killing him, it seems like it's damn hard and would take some huge amount of power to do it.

Lol yeah killing would be hard. Thanks for responding and i like that you were honest

nah just wait for the new moon and sick ol wolverine after him or have doc strange portal him to an abysmal plane of no light and let him eek out an existence in total anonymity, and isolation.

Ok^ but do you have a more serious opinion

Originally posted by rox
Ok^ but do you have a more serious opinion

If he was some sort of bubble boy who ventured out into the world because some accident claimed the life of his parents and no one knew he existed because they moved around alot and/or were ashamed.. He has to venture out then almost dies until the sun comes up granting him super powers (lesser version of what you have going on here where its more 30-80ton range so he is strong but not punkin the hulk unless he is grey or is part of a well planned and coordinated strike with the other x-men.. Dialing him back makes him actually fit into the story you want him to take part in)
He figures out he has powers but is all alone and really doesn't understand how the world functions or the prejudice Ppl have toward mutants. He only knows his comics and maybe the sheltered television they allowed him to watch (older shows like I love Lucy) so he has a unique outlook and quirky personality. Eventually given his lack of control of his powers he can hurt someone trying to be a hero (misunderstanding a situation) and even hurt cops who come to get him and identify he is a mutant. (he tries to show them he is a hero. Lifts a car or he bends a pole blah blah) they can even open fire on him in a pure panic and he flees. Drifts from place to place doing some good, some bad until he learns of the x-men school. He can quote older shows and movies when he speaks and retain his 'good guy' nature by retaining a innocent outlook and values (be it a little shaken by the harsh world around him) sort of like captain America being a man out of time. Hell him being a bubble boy could of been seen as a blessing by his family and they kept him isolated from the realities of the world because they hated what it had become. (maybe older parents who missed those 'leave it to beaver' days) so they kept him separate because 1) he would never have a place in it anyway due to being a bubble boy and 2) they weren't ashamed of him but the world around them.

Sorry if it's not easy to understand I just wrote it quick.

I like ur backstory better. But i wouldn't reduce his strength. Not enough strong characters to fight hulk or mags

Character is too boring and a Gary Stu. His backstory blatantly disrespects the 616 continuity and it seems like a self-wank character and you want him to be that strong just so he can trounce Hulk and Magneto. Your character just out of nowhere, with no training whatsoever or any real skills just whoops on Hulk. He's powered by the moon and sun so he's always at full strength throughout the day? Where are the challenges in this character, seems like he doesn't have any problems, he stalemated the entire brotherhood. He's just boring and really has nothing unique going for him.

Some ideas? Granted i have written a full backstory yet which i probably should

Tone him down, being a nice match for Hulk after maturity and years honing his powers then sure but off the bat able to beat Hulk, Magneto and the Brotherhood? That's just self-wank. The entire background needs to be redone, Shackles made a much better one.

Ok that works. I have better one i thought that involves a major accident with him fighting hulk and misunderstanding the situation and hulk and leaving to hide in shame coming back later on.

Thanks for liking my little attempt at a backstory lol.
Honestly your trying to make him fit into the x-men but the x-men is a team book and your character operating at the lvl that you want isn't a real good fit for the team. I'd you dialed his lvls down and maybe gave him super strength for sunlight and flight for moonlight (keeping super durability for each) he could be a interesting character and it can give his powers a more interesting plot device to take advantage of where certain forms of light develop different powers in him, or not. But yeah x-men has always been a team driven story and when the need for the team is taken away by a 'I can do it alone' type character then it might as well not be a x-men story. Even juggernaut was toned down when on the team and fell into the 'colossus' role of the team.
His full potential can be what you want but not what he starts off with because in all actually that kids life will be hell as shown in x-men often, the children have limited control of their powers. He will accidentally kill someone, even fighting the brother hood if he is tanking the team do you really think it's all that believable for him to be beating on blob, stressing out magneto and still find it in himself to hold back when toad lunges at him? It will be like superboy prime, he will hit him into a mist cloud of blood and be traumatized.
If he does have such precious control of himself then he doesn't need the school and even in a fanfic it's hard to just insert some random kid inside the core x-men team.

Do I make any sense?

Problem is he is like superman, that's a little overdone. Id rather look into his nature Ok he is African American, what could have transformed him is he a mutant?
Maybe celestial bodies like the moon and sun have nothing to do with his power but instead maybe he is an answer to an ancient prophecy given about one who would come from the past with all his peoples woes and lead the oppressed to the homeland and its dream.
Seeing a rare artifact The Spear of Sumahsra from the Manhyia Palace while on sebatical in Kumasi. Overcome you lose consciousnesses and your mutant ability is triggered by the symbol of your family. In a dream you are reunited with your ancestors and see the tragedy that would become your people through slave trade and colonization. The faces and color of skin blur as you begin to see signs of mutant hate and genocide, out of the fog of the past you see a strong warrior walking in the jungle a large black cat beside him. He looks down at you offers his hand, as you take his hand he lifts you off the floor, looking intently into your eyes he simply says in the ancient tongue of your people "Guard them you people, succeed where the past failed, take the spear of justice into your heart, and let it guide you with the purpose of good".
You come to leaning on a bronze statue of a warrior named Sumahsra and there is a burning above your heart, what looks like a deep scratch resembles a spear.
You run faster than normal speeds, capable of great physical prowess able to leap like a panther, and strong enough to lift a car, your spatial awareness acts constantly allowing you near danger sense perception.
Your metabolic rate forever altered and your body is capable of carrying greater amounts of oxygen allowing you feats of endurance that are superhuman. You heal most wounds within a night, and emit an empathic aura of fear when engaging combat, through time you have learned to control this to allow it to target rather than broadcasting it solely in a radius.
A strong pull lured you to westchester New York where you met another ororo Monroe here she and a bald man in a wheel chair offered you help but asked you to work as a silent member in third world countries with three others in an attempt to subvert threats that might challenge the World at large.

Originally posted by Salthasha
Problem is he is like superman, that's a little overdone. Id rather look into his nature Ok he is African American, what could have transformed him is he a mutant?
Maybe celestial bodies like the moon and sun have nothing to do with his power but instead maybe he is an answer to an ancient prophecy given about one who would come from the past with all his peoples woes and lead the oppressed to the homeland and its dream.
Seeing a rare artifact The Spear of Sumahsra from the Manhyia Palace while on sebatical in Kumasi. Overcome you lose consciousnesses and your mutant ability is triggered by the symbol of your family. In a dream you are reunited with your ancestors and see the tragedy that would become your people through slave trade and colonization. The faces and color of skin blur as you begin to see signs of mutant hate and genocide, out of the fog of the past you see a strong warrior walking in the jungle a large black cat beside him. He looks down at you offers his hand, as you take his hand he lifts you off the floor, looking intently into your eyes he simply says in the ancient tongue of your people "Guard them you people, succeed where the past failed, take the spear of justice into your heart, and let it guide you with the purpose of good".
You come to leaning on a bronze statue of a warrior named Sumahsra and there is a burning above your heart, what looks like a deep scratch resembles a spear.
You run faster than normal speeds, capable of great physical prowess able to leap like a panther, and strong enough to lift a car, your spatial awareness acts constantly allowing you near danger sense perception.
Your metabolic rate forever altered and your body is capable of carrying greater amounts of oxygen allowing you feats of endurance that are superhuman. You heal most wounds within a night, and emit an empathic aura of fear when engaging combat, through time you have learned to control this to allow it to target rather than broadcasting it solely in a radius.
A strong pull lured you to westchester New York where you met another ororo Monroe here she and a bald man in a wheel chair offered you help but asked you to work as a silent member in third world countries with three others in an attempt to subvert threats that might challenge the World at large.

❌

Originally posted by Salthasha
Problem is he is like superman, that's a little overdone. Id rather look into his nature Ok he is African American, what could have transformed him is he a mutant?
Maybe celestial bodies like the moon and sun have nothing to do with his power but instead maybe he is an answer to an ancient prophecy given about one who would come from the past with all his peoples woes and lead the oppressed to the homeland and its dream.
Seeing a rare artifact The Spear of Sumahsra from the Manhyia Palace while on sebatical in Kumasi. Overcome you lose consciousnesses and your mutant ability is triggered by the symbol of your family. In a dream you are reunited with your ancestors and see the tragedy that would become your people through slave trade and colonization. The faces and color of skin blur as you begin to see signs of mutant hate and genocide, out of the fog of the past you see a strong warrior walking in the jungle a large black cat beside him. He looks down at you offers his hand, as you take his hand he lifts you off the floor, looking intently into your eyes he simply says in the ancient tongue of your people "Guard them you people, succeed where the past failed, take the spear of justice into your heart, and let it guide you with the purpose of good".
You come to leaning on a bronze statue of a warrior named Sumahsra and there is a burning above your heart, what looks like a deep scratch resembles a spear.
You run faster than normal speeds, capable of great physical prowess able to leap like a panther, and strong enough to lift a car, your spatial awareness acts constantly allowing you near danger sense perception.
Your metabolic rate forever altered and your body is capable of carrying greater amounts of oxygen allowing you feats of endurance that are superhuman. You heal most wounds within a night, and emit an empathic aura of fear when engaging combat, through time you have learned to control this to allow it to target rather than broadcasting it solely in a radius.
A strong pull lured you to westchester New York where you met another ororo Monroe here she and a bald man in a wheel chair offered you help but asked you to work as a silent member in third world countries with three others in an attempt to subvert threats that might challenge the World at large.

Huh?