Age disparity and love

Originally posted by Stoic
Actually not that it's really any ones business, but this is about my little sister, and her much older boyfriend. I'm a bit protective over her, and I just didn't know how to act with the guy.

not to put my psychologist cap on here or anything, but regardless of how you feel about the age difference, it is best to let your sister feel like she has autonomy on this issue. So long as there is no actual abuse, the best you can do is offer support, and if it is some childish indiscretion, a place to stay, etc.

If you try to put yourself between them, no matter how right you might seem or might actually be, to her, it will just be another reason to side with the BF. She has to know you respect her right to make choices, whether you agree with them or not, and no, there isn't an easy answer.

I don't see anything morally wrong with it. It's fine.

Bash his face, rip his f..ken balls off

Originally posted by Major_Lexington
teens and old people both like movies........

True, but hardly something to base a relationship on (in my opinion).

Originally posted by rudester
clearly u have never gone dating w someone older, there are 36 year olds tat still live at home and act like 4 year olds. Age is a state of mind, tat being said there are 18 year olds tat act mature and are mature for their age. It all comes down to the need to be loved.

That's quite an assumption.
I have dated older women when I was younger (I was 20 she was 30) and younger women when I was older (she was 19 I was 28) and I learned that the commonality of experiences was too distanced for an actual relationship.

The sex was great, but the older woman lacked the maturity to have a relationship with someone her one age and dating the younger was the exact same experience.

I know that I will get crushed for this on this forum because so many people are younger and will take offence to it, but though you may have common interests with someone older, your life experiences [should] be different, and those experiences really make the difference.

Originally posted by Oliver North
not to put my psychologist cap on here or anything, but regardless of how you feel about the age difference, it is best to let your sister feel like she has autonomy on this issue. So long as there is no actual abuse, the best you can do is offer support, and if it is some childish indiscretion, a place to stay, etc.

If you try to put yourself between them, no matter how right you might seem or might actually be, to her, it will just be another reason to side with the BF. She has to know you respect her right to make choices, whether you agree with them or not, and no, there isn't an easy answer.

Thanks man, I didn't really know how to react when i saw this guy. I didn't say much to him, but I could tell that he knew that I was uneasy about the fact that he was dating my kid sister. I shook his hand, and looked sternly at him, and told him to take very good care of her, and I split. I know you're right, but this is someone that i used to push around in a stroller, and feed baby food to, so I guess i would be like that to anyone she dated. I trust her, so I know that she's making good decisions, I mean she's a good kid to me. All I want is for the best for her. Thanks for the words of encouragement, because i really needed to hear this from someone outside of my normal circle of friends.

Originally posted by Stoic
Well said, but did the H key on your PC break off?

😂

Oliver NorthWest is right on the money. As hard as it is you need to let her live her own life and, if this happens to be the case, make her own mistakes.

Originally posted by Stoic
Would it be okay if a man or woman that is 18 years old had a relationship or got married to a a man or woman twice their age if the elder woman or man was neither their teacher, friend of the younger persons family, or their parents? Why would this work, and why wouldn't it? Is love enough? Would this relationship be improper? What is the age of consent? My first thoughts were that it would be wrong, because the elder may be taking advantage of a developing mind. But I would like some insight from others before passing a hard judgment on this subject.

Comments.

But in terms of having a a solid relationship I think it's an uphill battle.

Even if the 36 year old is still living at home with their parents they still have 18 years of experience on the other person. The way they view the world is different from a time stand point.

On a personal note I've seen a few of these relationships form and it always appears as if they older person ends up taking the dominate role in the relationship often because they are just at a much more mature point in their lives.

I also have noted it tends to be younger woman going for older men and they end up miserable because they don't feel like they are in control of their lives anymore. Of course this is just personal observation and could not be the norm.

I have two older sisters, the youngest is bossy mean and scary but shes my sister and i love her. We also have a close relationship and can talk. Wen it comes to guys my sister is emotionally retarded, she lets guys rule her. Im always giving her advice but she never takes it. Her older bf is almost 40 and still lives w his mother and father, shes 29. He has no future goals, no car..likes to make money fast and thinks hes brad pitt. My sister however has a degree in law, works in the government and gives him money for his projects. Plus she does not let anyone tell her wat to do..so me and my family have stopped. Now all i do is ask her if she is on the pill..Her bf bosses her around and ignores her wen he doesnt want to see her. Every time my sister gets paid hes the first one there. All i can do is watch, ive notice tat girls tend to fall in love fast. Im pretty sure hes just using her. Now all i do is try to inspire her with some of the people im dating.

I'm not a fan of age disparity, but I think it all depends on type of person, and it's all relative. Of course, there is a huge difference between brain of 18-years old and 30-years old person, but if someone can hold it, I don't mind, I just wont personally ever be with someone who is so much older or younger than me. It's also difference when, for example girl has 20 and guy 30, than when girl is 16 and guy 26.

Originally posted by Stoic
Would it be okay if a man or woman that is 18 years old had a relationship or got married to a a man or woman twice their age if the elder woman or man was neither their teacher, friend of the younger persons family, or their parents? Why would this work, and why wouldn't it? Is love enough? Would this relationship be improper? What is the age of consent? My first thoughts were that it would be wrong, because the elder may be taking advantage of a developing mind. But I would like some insight from others before passing a hard judgment on this subject.

Comments.

But seriously, who would want to be married to an 18 year-old, or be married at 18??

what about a 30 year old man with a 21 year old woman

Now a 21 year old guy or girl should be able to marry anyone they want no matter their age and it really shouldn't be weird at all because that's the legal age to drink, by that age you're well into college and not fresh out of high school, etc.

I'm 34. I have dated many 20 year olds.