srug
It wasn't a very good joke.
As for the thread:
1) Maybe Aquaman or Antman. I think Spider-Man is capable of knocking them out in the right circumstance, but I don't think it's likely.
2) I'm trying to imagine what Spider-Man would do with 4 hours prep. I guess maybe Morlun or Carnage.
3) Lots of people are probably fair answers here. Professor X, Dr. Strange, a glass cannon character.
4) The Fantastic Four, maybe an Avengers lineup.