Re: Sympathy
Originally posted by Time Immemorial
Does anyone actually feel sorry for the bad news unless it directly impacts them or their loved ones?
Most people (myself included) are terrible at expressing genuine sympathy in a way that doesn't seem canned or perfunctory unless the tragedy directly impacts them. This is true for face to face interactions but becomes more pronounced online or over the phone.
Re: Sympathy
Originally posted by Time ImmemorialYes because I engage in hyper-cognition, for hours on end.
Does anyone actually feel sorry for the bad news unless it directly impacts them or their loved ones?
If you think about something, not nearly to that level, you realized it happened, you're in their shoes.
Hyper-cognition, or more properly, metacognition, is to consider the source of your thoughts. Do your emotions have some say, is this thing happening to you influencing them, your dreams? And you build off ad infinitum. I do it for hours in solitude. Falling asleep into a random dream and snapping awake at times.
Originally posted by ArtificialGlory
"It is pleasant, when the sea is high and the winds are dashing the waves about, to watch from the shores the struggles of another." - Lucretius.
Yes, you're not being hurt, but;
"The real greatest pleasure of men is to repress rebels and defeat enemies, to exterminate them and grab everything they have; to see their married women crying, to ride on their steeds with smooth backs, to treat their beautiful queens and concubines as pajamas and pillows, to stare and kiss their rose-colored faces and to suck their sweet lips of nipple-colored. "
-Genghis Khan
These are not the thoughts of noble men. They are ignorant and stupid.
More than the thought, is the emotional depth, the ability to feel the way they feel, and feel the way a pure of heart man feels. As opposed to merely pondering it.
And that doesn't take skill, it requires experience. Traumatizing, or invigorating. The joy of helping others, the adrenal rush of rage and the megalomaniac's pride and false-justification for why he was right to hurt another, and the misery of being hurt by others.
Juz an observation but a lot of people hide behind humour, no matter how crass,when the feeling of sympathy is not enough. Or maybe more to the point, when the human mind cannot cope with the extent of sympathy needed.
I mean, how fast is the internet flooded with jokes after a tragic incident?
OJ. Rodney King. 9/11....
These jokes are usually followed by,"Too soon?" remarks hinting to sympathy.
^that could also just be that they either don't want to look like a bad person or maybe they are acknowledging that it's a ****ed up joke on purpose cause that was the only thing that made it funny in the first place.
me personally, i feel bad if it is something that involves a lot of continuous suffering with no end in sight, like kids starving in africa or whatever. if some random person gets murdered or dies in some sort of tragic accident it's kind of hard for me to care all that much tbh. i mean i'd prefer it didn't happen but it doesn't actually make me feel sad or anything like that.
Originally posted by ArtificialGloryGotcha.
That's not quite what Lecretius had in mind. Here's the rest of the quote:"Not because any man's troubles are a delectable joy, but because to perceive from what ills you are free yourself is pleasant."
But that does require empathy, one can be sympathetic to another's pain, but grateful that it is not your own.
I've felt genuine sympathy and sadness for complete strangers. When you see someone crying that deep anguished cry that comes from losing someone they care about, particular a child lost to a tragedy, it's hard not to feel bad for them. One of the vivid memories of my childhood was seeing a kid die in a hit and run when he and his older brother were attempting to cross the street to get to an ice cream truck. The older brother was right there beside him and the car missed him by a couple feet. The look of pain and the sound of the mother's cries when she ran to hug her son's corpse was heartbreaking. I could only imagine the pain she felt and the guilt and grief the older brother felt for not being able to save his little brother. I guess for me it's sympathy and empathy. I feel sorry for the losses of others, and I introspectively try to put myself in their shoes and discern how I would feel if I were in their position, or if I have been in my life and can relate.
So yes, I for one feel sorry for bad news, whether it directly effects me or not, and if I'm capable I'd lend a hand to alleviate the pain that caused it, even if it's just providing a sympathetic ear.