Open Marriage

Why is open marriage so stigmatized? I am currently giving it a shot and I am in fact more satisfied and secure in my relationship than I was when I was firm in monogomy. Monogomy implies love with limits in my opinions.Why marry someone if you don't love them unconditionally? I mean biblically speaking, God wants us to love as he loves us. He wants our marriages to reflect the love that he has for us. So why not love without such damaging conditions as "you are a slave to my body"? Also, polygamy and marriages in which the man took lovers are quite common in the Bible, even among righteous men. So again, I ask, why restrict sex to an emotional bond between two people; why limit the power of love in your marriage by saying, "I will only love you if..."? Please, I welcome your thoughts.

An open marriage is dating while cheating, with legal repercussions. No thanks.
Glad you're enjoying it, though.

The legal side only adds trouble to a balance that is already hard to find, both monogamy and open relationships have a difficult need of compatibility that is hard to assess in a society whose economical basis is selfish consumersm and social conformism.

Also, Open Marriages are next to impossible without emotional maturity coming from every part of the equation and more responsability when dealing with sexual protection. Self-esteem issues are also a big problem, you can enter an open relationship thinking you'll be fine with having your partner engaging in sexual activities with other people but then you can find yourself questioning your desireability or cheaping the overall value you have to yourself and your body. That last part might be unconscious and hard to measure before committing to the act, which makes it a risky bet to transition from monogamy to an open couple.

Last but not the least, marriage is about stability. People who value marriage might not consider that sexual freedom leads to stability, this assumption is enough to make open relationships a rarity among emotionally mature people -the only ones that have a snowball's chance in hell to make it work-.

... Open Marriages are next to impossible without emotional maturity ...

Originally posted by riv6672
Just MO: having your cake and eating it too, in regards to sex, isnt a sign of emotional maturity.

I never said it was an implication. You need some emotional maturity to engage in a (or several) sexual relationship and assume it's every consequence. This doesn't mean people who have sex are mature by the sheer virtue of having sex. You can say as much for open marriages.

Being responsible for your sex life is a sign of maturity.

I agree with your definitions, just not their applicability to open marriages.

Surprised more folks havent chimed in on this one.

Originally posted by riv6672
I agree with your definitions, just not their applicability to open marriages.

Surprised more folks havent chimed in on this one.

Well, open marriages are impractical but not theoretically impracticable or inherently immoral. They have odds stacked against them by the sheer number of people involved and the current status of sexual partnership in our society.

If you and your partner are comfortable with this sort of thing, power to you.

I couldn't do something like this if I was married. Sounds like things would get messy

One aspect that is missing here, is control and dominance.
People are very controlling in their relationships and as John Lennon said in Imagine, I wonder if people can think of such a thing happening as open marriage.

Then again, that was said about gay marriage too. Too much ego, vanity and pride involved for most people to consider such a thing, let alone maturity issues.
And self esteem seems to be an odd issue. If you feel good about yourself, should you feel bad about yourself because your partner is involved with someone else, when you know about it?
Sounds like an I, Me, Mine issue of not wanting to share with anyone else.
Horders have been proved to be mentally ill to some degree!
And as animals, yes humans are that, we are fiercely territorial and protective of our own interests.
So, to best honest with you, most people do not have it their DNA to have an open mind about it. Johnny L. was right, "I wonder if you can" imagine it.

I've had offers that I turned down. I don't regret it either.

Originally posted by anonymom
Why is open marriage so stigmatized? I am currently giving it a shot and I am in fact more satisfied and secure in my relationship than I was when I was firm in monogomy. Monogomy implies love with limits in my opinions.Why marry someone if you don't love them unconditionally? I mean biblically speaking, God wants us to love as he loves us. He wants our marriages to reflect the love that he has for us. So why not love without such damaging conditions as "you are a slave to my body"? Also, polygamy and marriages in which the man took lovers are quite common in the Bible, even among righteous men. So again, I ask, why restrict sex to an emotional bond between two people; why limit the power of love in your marriage by saying, "I will only love you if..."? Please, I welcome your thoughts.

A/L?