Dear God, my prayer for 2016 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don't mix it up like you did this year.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is not one of them.
Just heard that in 2016 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.
This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.