Irony

Started by riv66721 pages

Irony

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/25/wild-boars-overrun-islamic-state-position-kill-3-militants/100876844/

Three Islamic State militants setting up an ambush in a bitterly contested area of northern Iraq were killed by a herd of stampeding boars, local leaders say.

Sheikh Anwar al-Assi, a chief of the local Ubaid tribe and supervisor of anti-ISIS forces, told The Times of London the militants were hiding on the edge of a field about 50 miles southwest of Kirkuk when the boars overwhelmed them Sunday. Five other militants were injured, al-Assi said. He said the group was poised to attack a band of local tribesmen who had fled to nearby mountains since militants seized the town of Hawija three years ago.

“It is likely their movement disturbed a herd of wild pigs, which inhabit the area as well as the nearby cornfields,” he said.

Al-Assi said the militants had summarily executed 25 people attempting to flee the militant's would-be caliphate in the three days before the boars attacked. Hawija, about 100 miles south of Mosul, sees dozens of residents flee to Kurdish Kirkuk daily, and the Iraqi military has planned to launch an offensive in the region after a laborious effort to liberate Mosul is completed.

“We know that a massacre took place in Hawija district through our sources," al-Assi told the Times. "This will not be ISIS’s last massacre against citizens."

Hawija is strategically located east of the road from Mosul to Baghdad, on the edge of the oil-rich region of Kirkuk. U.S.-backed troops launched the effort to drive the militants out of Mosul in October. Eastern Mosul was liberated in January, and the Iraqi military claimed Tuesday it had taken control of the al-Tanek neighborhood, the largest on the western side of the city.

Kirkuk Gov. Najmaldin Karim renewed calls to the Iraqi army and government to free Hawija.

“The suffering of the people of Hawija and its surrounding areas is intolerable,” he told The Times.

That's why Muslims dislike ham.

Originally posted by vansonbee
That's why Muslims dislike ham.

According to Conspiracy Theorists this reads "Russia testing secret weapon that makes animals go berserk"

According to religious propaganda this reads "the possessed swines from the Bible attack ISIS, proof that the Devil sides with the West"

I'll update the thread with more lazy jokes if I find any.

Are you sure the first part was a joke? Because "it's a Russian plot" is something some posters here would legit believe is a possibility.

Well, by design conspiracy theories sound like poor jokes.

... because the Illuminati has been tampering our sense of humor by funding non-fun comedians in order to make it rhyme with their actual mass-control plots!

The Illuminati doesn't exist. Putin used time travel technology to plant seeds of such a group in the past in order to distract conspiracy theorists from focusing on Russia.

You've been awakened.

Originally posted by Bentley
Well, by design conspiracy theories sound like poor jokes.

... because the Illuminati has been tampering our sense of humor by funding non-fun comedians in order to make it rhyme with their actual mass-control plots!


That explains Lisa Lampanelli...✅