The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses
I figured this might interest some people, I mentioned one part of it in another thread. It's from when Cracked used to be good:
The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses
My favorite so far is Judges 15:15-16:
"Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men.
16 Then Samson said,
“With a donkey’s jawbone
I have made donkeys of them.[a]
With a donkey’s jawbone
I have killed a thousand men.”
Owned.
There is also this crazy ass cartoon featuring Samson and it really doesn't f*ck around lol. As in, dude murders a whole boatload of people, sometimes for the smallest slight.
You can see in this clip some people make a wager with Samson and they cheat and win. Samson is pissed but says he will honor their deal and give them what they won(clothes). He goes out and murders 30 random people for their clothes lol. This is a movie for kids.
"Yet she multiplied her whoring, remembering the days of her youth when she played the whore in the land of Egypt. She lusted after her lovers whose penises are like the penises of donkeys, and whose ejaculations are like the ejeculations of horses. Thus she longed for the lewdness of her youth when the Egyptians handled her breasts, because of the breasts of her youth."
—Ezekiel 23:19–21
23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. 25 And he went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.
I feel like there is actually some poetic justice to this story. The young laughing at the aged, unaware or failing to reflect on their own inevitable demise. And then bam, out of nowhere nature comes crashing down on them in their moment of folly.