Stuck living with someone I absolutely hate down to my core

Originally posted by rudester
But a friend to a friend. You need to learn to let things go, as you get older you become more wiser and you need to learn when to pick a fight with someone and when to walk away. Holding in anger is waiting for a bomb to eexplode. You need to find someone who's subjective that you haven't talked to about this situation and talk to them for advice. You also need to be responsible in life because you are a father, your actions have consequences and how you deal with your problems will ultimately form how your kids deal with life. You are teaching them skills as well. Dude, learn to meditatemeditate everyday through breabreathing techniques, learn to forgive people and theirtheir" way of lifelife whatever that might be. Finally forgive yourself for wanting to hate someone else. You can't control others only yourself. Master yourself and you master the universe.

How do you let things go when they continue to go on about it, to the point that it irritates them if you ignore them?

That irritating them causes things to eventually get physical.

Like, example, he always encourages us to beat our dog if she does anything wrong, kick her even, in the face.

He routinely threatens to kill the dog whenever it does anything wrong, out of pure anger and hate.

He has no filter, he does not see a difference between young and old, skinny or fat, nor does he think he's ever wrong, even in the face of his girlfriend's (my mom's) mother. (my grandmother).

I think everyone's so scared of him that they just refuse to kick him out because he'll get violent, and they're also too scared to call the police.

But they also discourage us from saying anything back to him, or standing up for ourselves.

I've also seen him intimidate 4 grown men at once, I'm not talking causing them to walk off angrily or storm off, I'm talking INTIMIDATING them, to the point their voice shakes and they are apologetic.

You teach them and you teach yourself. My dad is a very special human being, he's one of a kind. He never lets things go and will bring it up years later out of the blue. Sometimes I step out of the room just to breath. But I've taught my dad a lot of life's lessons and one is to have patients with yourself. Let's face it life isn't easy for anyone, everyone has their shit stick. You need to form your life around people and things that make you happy. If you can't move then bloCK him out by ignoring him completelycompletely or forgive him. Forgive his parents who made him the way he is. Forgive God whoever your God is for putting him infront on you and move on. Set a goal to move out, if you can't do it on your own ask for helphelp! Churches take in families and set them up, go talk to a priest.

There's a movie you should watch it's called, shack. It's about a man who goes to rescue his daughter from drowingdrowing and his youngest daughter gets kidnapped, raped and murdered.

Sorry Jman he sounds like a real shithouse. What did he do exactly that he can be charged for? You can't help who your mum likes but if he is that bad I don't blame you for wanting to smack him. Maybe you should teach him a lesson.

I'd say just try how ever you can to move out, maybe move in with your girlfriend somewhere. Or you could create a fake Facebook and cat fish the guy, reveal it to your mum and get him out.

Originally posted by rudester
There's a movie you should watch it's called, shack. It's about a man who goes to rescue his daughter from drowingdrowing and his youngest daughter gets kidnapped, raped and murdered.

Originally posted by walshy
Sorry Jman he sounds like a real shithouse. What did he do exactly that he can be charged for? You can't help who your mum likes but if he is that bad I don't blame you for wanting to smack him. Maybe you should teach him a lesson.

I'd say just try how ever you can to move out, maybe move in with your girlfriend somewhere. Or you could create a fake Facebook and cat fish the guy, reveal it to your mum and get him out.

why would watching that movie help? That sounds really depressing

Though I doubt it'd stick, even back then. My own mom and others would stick up for him and I was basically told by EVERYONE, including people who didn't like him, to keep quiet, as it would embarrass our family.

As you get older your perspective on life changes, what seems like the end of the world one min is small peanutspeanuts later. Telling someone to be violent won't solve your problem, even though it might feel good. Who are you to judgejudge a man you don't knowknow? Did you live his life? Did you go through the pains and struggles he went through to be the man he is today. For all you know he was raised to talk back to dogs, to use bad words and to not care. Can you change himhim? No!! You need to find your supports and move forward with your life. Move out and do what u have to do to live the life you want.

1) Wrestle him to the floor, sodomize him, thereby asserting your dominace

2) Find a way to move out

4) Start secretly filming his insane and violent moments on your phone, get lots of these. Him making threats, him beating the dog, him breaking things etc. If he catches you filming, keep filming, even if he threatens/attacks you, but don't fight back, get him on camera beating you. Then you can press charges and the cops will believe you. If you get lots of footage, you might purposely let him catch you filming him during a violent episode so he does attack you and you can't record it.

edit: Obviously be wary of your safety and don't let yourself get in critical danger

Originally posted by Robtard
1) Wrestle him to the floor, sodomize him, thereby asserting your dominace

2) Find a way to move out

4) Start secretly filming his insane and violent moments on your phone, get lots of these. Him making threats, him beating the dog, him breaking things etc. If he catches you filming, keep filming, even if he threatens/attacks you, but don't fight back, get him on camera beating you. Then you can press charges and the cops will believe you. If you get lots of footage, you might purposely let him catch you filming him during a violent episode so he does attack you and you can't record it.

Like, to the point where, if you walked up to me, and said you'd pay me $100 to punch me in the face.

It's not that he's super violent, he's just very... quick to jump to very angry emotions. Anger controls him, its clear.

He just has a very very warped sense of right and wrong, he's a hardcore redneck, is the best way I can put it. He has a son that doesn't bother with him... at all.

His mom was a very nice woman, to me and my siblings, but from what I heard, his dad wasn't horrible, but had a very messed up way of discipline.

He would throw shit at his kids, which is horrible, but its not excuse for his actions, and its certainly no excuse to hit kids who aren't even yours.

We told people and the consensus was for me and my brother to literally stop spreading it around or telling people, by everyone we told.

I consider him a redneck by the company he keeps (they're all bums), and the fact that all he watches are shows like Duck Dynasty, and a show about hunting alligators in a bayou.

I'd still try to secretly record him when he's making threats and acting insane, in case anything happens, you have proof of his anger an instability.

Though making threats is enough for you to call the cops on him, just have evidence. It that happens enough times, they will arrest him, otherwise they could be held accountable in not acting beforehand if he does attack you/someone at some later point. But of course, be aware of your safety.

He sounds like a Grade A piece of shit bully.

Originally posted by Robtard
I'd still try to secretly record him when he's making threats and acting insane, in case anything happens, you have proof of his anger an instability.

Though making threats is enough for you to call the cops on him, just have evidence. It that happens enough times, they will arrest him, otherwise they could be held accountable in not acting beforehand if he does attack you/someone at some later point. But of course, be aware of your safety.

He sounds like a Grade A piece of shit bully.

He just thinks he's right a bit too often, like one night, we got into an argument simply because he assumed I yelled, had no proof and said he saw me yelling, when I wasn't, and of course eventually he got louder and yelled himself. I feel like some days are cool, in which I can even get along with him somewhat, other days are simply hell incarnate where he's just irritable at everything.

I understand, the dude's been through some shit, friends have died, dad would throw shit, I get that. At some point he just needs to look at himself and realize he needs to calm down. One day he's going to say something to the wrong person and they will legitimately beat the **** out of him.

Where do you live? How old are you now? You sound young.

Getting beaten as a kid is normal, don't let that phase you. You need to find a positive role model that's male in your life. You need to find a social worker that you can talk to to figure out what to do next. Social workers are free unless you live in some third world country? Education is the most important thing you can give yourself, it will give you the power to control your life the way you see fit. You need guidance it seems.. Go to a community centre or neighborhood centre and ask if they have a community social worker. Start saving up money to escape and move out.

Originally posted by rudester
Where do you live? How old are you now? You sound young.

Getting beaten as a kid is normal, don't let that phase you. You need to find a positive role model that's male in your life. You need to find a social worker that you can talk to to figure out what to do next. Social workers are free unless you live in some third world country? Education is the most important thing you can give yourself, it will give you the power to control your life the way you see fit. You need guidance it seems.. Go to a community centre or neighborhood centre and ask if they have a community social worker. Start saving up money to escape and move out.

Lol.

Yeah, no.

I'm sorry you seem to come from a fairytale land where parents dont discipline their kids. Depends on the degree of what is being donedone to you? How old are you Jman

Join the military j , you move out and get a job in one go

Air force might be easier for you

Originally posted by walshy
Join the military j , you move out and get a job in one go

Air force might be easier for you

Plus I need to be near family of some sort.

Originally posted by rudester
I'm sorry you seem to come from a fairytale land where parents dont discipline their kids. Depends on the degree of what is being donedone to you? How old are you Jman

I don't care how angry they are, and I'm sorry, even if they killed your pet cat or something, you damn sure don't have the right to hit them. If I started dating a girl and I found out she had hit one of my children, I've never hit a woman but I would smack the **** out of that girl and throw her out of my apartment/house. Damn that, I went through hell for years just for doing the tiniest things.

Secondly, if you are gonna discipline your kids, you do not ever use a closed fist, and you don't hit them as hard you can unless it's serious, and they're old enough to be hit like that.

For real, one time when I was 9, I made a bird noise, right? Thats it, I made a noise at his pet bird.

He tried to hit me for that, punch me, actually, and my mom was holding him back, so since he couldn't hit me cause my mom was in the way, he threw water in my face.

Apparently he was mad cause I "made fun of his pet bird".

Was also swung around a room, and then literally thrown against a wall cause me and my little brother were play-fighting.

He also screamed angrily for hours like a madman because I (using MY money) wouldn't buy him food. I bought myself a calzone and something else, and he was absolutely ****ing LIVID that I didn't get him anything, even after I offered to let him eat the thing I bought exclusively for myself, he still went ballistic. He walked into our bathroom and started screaming like a crazy person, and I mean SCREAMING, he was going absolutely apeshit crazy. (It's worth mentioning he apologized, but only because my mom forced him to)

Kill them.

Originally posted by Dramatic Gecko
Kill them.

Like no joke I've had dreams where I've joked him to death.

I do get afraid that one day I will snap and actually legitimately kill him and go to prison.

He just doesn't know when to shut up, he talks about everyone behind their backs too, my grandmother, my sister, my, my brother, my mom to her face but also behind her back, our whole family.

He believes we're weirdos because of the way we live, and honestly we live relatively normal, he is obsessed with appearing tough and dominant.

But honestly, I feel like he has severe bipolar disorder, in all honesty.