Re: You just find out that someone close to you is gay
Originally posted by CroftAlice
How do you react?
I'd also ask them if they had any concerns with their close circle of people, work, etc. Because if they are my friend, I should be there to help them through their journey to normalcy.
Guess what? I had this scenario happen to a friend. He came out first to his mother and then to me. I was the second person on his list. And his list was 2 people long. Why? Because f*cking super red state Oklahoma, that's why.
When he told me, his voice was shaky. Not shaky because he was trying not to cry. Shaky because he was extremely nervous about my reaction. I was the only Mormon in our high school grade. But we were friends. At least enough to shoot the shit during school and we got along well.
When the words left his mouth, I immediately said, "I knew since we were kids. No surprise at all. What do you need me to do?" His face filled with subtle shock but it left quickly and was replaced with pure and unadulterated relief. Then next it was joy. Genuine joy.
He asked me to smack around any of the assholes at school who would give him trouble over it. Here's the good news: I never had to. The next day at school, I gave a speech "to the boys", told them to not be pieces of shit or I'd bury them, bla bla bla, etc.. I also asked for their support to watch over him. And we did.
Why was this important? Because it's not necessarily about your reaction. If you're a decent person, your reaction should be inconsequential. You don't get a cookie because you don't react negatively to a friend coming out to you. There's no reward for doing the minimum of what is expected of common human decency. That should be a given. Falling below that line makes you subhuman, trash, and someone that does not belong to society.
No.
Your reaction should be about what you can do to help your friend transition into a happy, comfortable, and productive life. It's about the friend. Not about you virtue signaling how accepting and righteous you are.
Re: Re: You just find out that someone close to you is gay
Originally posted by dadudemonBut did the whole bus cheer?
I'd also ask them if they had any concerns with their close circle of people, work, etc. Because if they are my friend, I should be there to help them through their journey to normalcy.Guess what? I had this scenario happen to a friend. He came out first to his mother and then to me. I was the second person on his list. And his list was 2 people long. Why? Because f*cking super red state Oklahoma, that's why.
When he told me, his voice was shaky. Not shaky because he was trying not to cry. Shaky because he was extremely nervous about my reaction. I was the only Mormon in our high school grade. But we were friends. At least enough to shoot the shit during school and we got along well.
When the words left his mouth, I immediately said, "I knew since we were kids. No surprise at all. What do you need me to do?" His face filled with subtle shock but it left quickly and was replaced with pure and unadulterated relief. Then next it was joy. Genuine joy.
He asked me to smack around any of the assholes at school who would give him trouble over it. Here's the good news: I never had to. The next day at school, I gave a speech "to the boys", told them to not be pieces of shit or I'd bury them, bla bla bla, etc.. I also asked for their support to watch over him. And we did.
Why was this important? Because it's not necessarily about your reaction. If you're a decent person, your reaction should be inconsequential. You don't get a cookie because you don't react negatively to a friend coming out to you. There's no reward for doing the minimum of what is expected of common human decency. That should be a given. Falling below that line makes you subhuman, trash, and someone that does not belong to society.
No.
Your reaction should be about what you can do to help your friend transition into a happy, comfortable, and productive life. It's about the friend. Not about you virtue signaling how accepting and righteous you are.