Stupendeous.... Whether or not that really works, I have yet to see it. Girls, or women tend to be interested in feeling safe and only safe, well, that does not leavemuch room for us computer geeks who lack the muscle to fend off a pack of hungry wolves, now doesn't it. Unless I get the Kung fu Program downloaded in my body, I don't stand a chance of getting a date for a long time, now do I??? If that is all women are looking for, security, thhen we do have a huge problem. Anyone agree?? Or is this forum packed with gmy addicts who like to work out on their biceps for 5 hours +?? If so, Uh, s-sorry guys, heh heh, I, uh, didn't mean any-anyth-anything by it (sweating buckets right about now as he is being cornered big a bunch of muscle men) 🤓 ❌
Ok! Here we go, the second part of my Edna Crush story, complete with board nostalgia, telling of how we first met!
So then, so far, myself and Edna have met on the boards here, Edna has made herself a very popular member and I am ridiculously smitted with her. After incredible effort, where I have had to play her name-guessing and then looks-guessing games, Edna and myself have formed a firm attachment.
We are chatting a great deal by mail and the chat room Raz provided for us on the old episode-ii.co.uk site. We take time to find out all about each other, she learns of my illness and life troubles, I learn of her life and immense fear that had always prevented her from getting intimate with guys. Nonetheless, I am devastated to learn that she has a boyfriend named David, and also learn that her romatic past has been complicated by a man named Darren that she met on-line and who has recently turned weird and obsessive and seriously scared her- the main reason she left her old forums (a Playstation forum, I believe) and come to these ones instead. Still, we talk often about meeting. We live a couple of hundred m,iles apart, so it is not easy. Also, she is terrified of telling her parents about me, fearful they will disapprove of how we met and shut off her net access.
The board, meanwhile, is slowly growing and Edna and myself post a lot. Still, the differences between then and now are palpable. This thread:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1291_1.html
Worries if this place will be shut down soon (as if!) and this one
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1297_1.html
celebrates that we have reaches 200 registered members- a pifflinf amount compared to now!
It was a smaller and more intimate place, and everyone knew each other relatively well. Still, as I said before, much remains the same, and this thread:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1279_1.html
Started by me, asking how everyone got their names, is now repeated about once a month around here!
Edna and I were having sucb a close relationship on the board I even started this absurd thread:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1294_1.html
in which to play out our weird twists we brought on the bar threads... all a little silly in retrospect, but we had fun!
In this thread:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1299_1.html
We are starting to flirt more and more on the boards (sadly, reading the thread is difficult as it has become scrambled in various database tranfers over time. Edna;s opening post is halfway down the first page!)
Edna has developed quite a crush on me as well by now. And to my amazement, in May, she suddenly decided to meet me,.She was visiting her sister at university in London, close to me, and would pretend to her that she was going to Essex to visit a friend she had met at a Medlink conference she had been to before- Eleanor being a very intelligent pupil who planned to be a medical student. She planned to catch a staggeringly early train and spend as much of the day with me as possible.
The plan was, of course, insane. Aside from a ridiculous episode with a girlfriend of a friend, I had never even get vaguely close to a girl, ever. Elle was spoken for, and was still beset by her huge fear problem. And meeting someone from the net, either of us could easily turn out to be psycho axe murderers! Yet we were flirting like crazy whenever we could, and we just HAD to meet. I supplied her with a map telling her how to get here, we agreed to meet on neutral ground, she could leave any time she wanted and there was no obligation for her to come to mine.
The days passed slowly, sleeplessly, nervously. I was convinced everything would go wrong- I would not recognise her, she would hate me, I would go too far and mess things up, she would not even COME, any number of problems.. I had just convinced myself that everything was fine, on the night before she was going to come, when she contacted me to say she was not coming, due to work commitments (she worked a crappy job for crappy pay at Theme Park she hated)
The full force of the power of my crush was laid bare then, as I cried and wailed all the way through the night that the one thing that might possibly be positive in my life had been yanked away from me at the last moment. I am never at my best at times like these... so it was rather fortunate that she managed to get time off from work to come the day after instead. Yayyyyyyy!
It was damn hot, I was very unwell, but I managed to stumble into town and meet her; we saw wach other at opposite sides of the road and my heart was beating so fast as she crossed over that I thought I was going to faint. I tried to make small talk as I walked her back towards mine, intending to take her onto the park as she was too nervous to actually enter my house. I asked her why she wanted to do medcine, she had no idea, saying she thought perhaps she should do maths instead, but now she had started down the objective of doing medicine she was going to stick with it. But the talk was stilted, nervous, uncomfortable.
When we got to my house on the way to the park I was visibly flagging from illness and the heat and to my astonishment she agreed to come inside with me instead. I got us drinks and we sat on the sofa downstairs together, still stiff and formal, with the intellectual pleasures of Big Brother 2 live playing on the telly nearby. I made some off-hand comment about whether we were going to sit uncomfortably next to each other all day, which I had hoped would put her at ease, but instead freaked her out even more. Half-crazed with panic, I came up with a random idea. I had a very funny interview with Liam Neeson, about his Qui-Gin Jinn role, that I had wanted to show her. I think she was so keen to escape the uncomfortable position that she was in that she thought nothing of coming into my room! I sat on the chair, she sat on the bed, I out on the interview, we laughed, and relaxed, and I put on some more Star Wars stuff to show her, and slowly my hand had inched towards hers, and inch by inch our hands slowly touched and grasped around each other, and once holding hands I FINALLY calmed down because I knew everything was going to be ok after all. Soon afterwards we were laying on the bed together, feeling quite comfortable, and I started to hug then stroke her, stroking her hair as she had told me she liked, and I rolled onto her and took the ABSURDLY brave step of trying to kiss her, and for a moment the world almost ended around me as she did not kiss back, but then I somehow got the courage to try again, and she DID kiss back...
... and the rest of the day was rather pleasant! So, bingo, we had ogtten away with it. We had found each other, we LIKED each other, neither of us had tried to kidnap and harm the other, and we had gotten one better than we could have dared hope. I was alarmed by one thing only- I thought I was a principled man. Eleanor was already spoken for. Not only had I encouraged her to break that, I did not care in the slightest, slightest bit. She said it was his fault for not making her feel relaxed like I had- we had already gone further than they ever had,. Yet she did not want to be my girlfriend, just my friend- certain as she was that taking it further would ruin things. So her relationship with Dave went on.
When she got hime she sent me this:
"Well right now I really can't stop grinning. I don't think I can see myself getting in a bad mood for a very long time because every time something annoying happens or something that normally makes me really angry, I just think of you, your wonderful face and your touch and I seem to develop an indelible smile. Really! I don't think I have ever smiled so much. Its starting to make my cheek muscles ache!"
We considered keeping it all a secret but that would be pointless, so I announced we had met that night as she journeyed home, here:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1216_1.html
(seriously, she didn't eat a thing and barely drank... she always worried me!)
And so this was the start of things- it was simple then, but soon to grow more complex, and this board would chronicle and- sometimes- infleunce things strongly. The coming summer was to be the first major crisis point in things, a story I shall tell soon...
(incidentally... I did call her Edna once or twice by mistake... eep!)