The Christmas Log or the post long haul flight shit?

This question vexes me; I am unsure if I am honest, which provides greater pleasure. Is it the pushing, squeezing and passing of an object so glorious sometimes it seems a shame to flush it. Is it a sculpture that should instead be placed in our art galleries of personal excess—a tribute to the wealth of a western salary? Or does the release caused by eight or nine hours of pressurization working on a stomach fueled by business class food and drink service and inactivity, further churned by the aspirin you pop every four hours to avoid deep vein thrombosis. The product is very similar, again often lightly speckled with sweet corn and cashews, firm, yet moist and the relief equally orgasmic. Which thing of beauty provides the greater Joy to you, gives you a greater sense of freedom and restores balance and order in your life? As someone much smarter than me once said, life is not a puzzle to understand it is like indigestion from many good meals relieved by the opportunity the clear your bowels every so often... Hang on, perhaps that was me, I am getting so old I forget.

I'm unsure of the question, m8

But taking a large well earned shit is enjoyable cos most releases in life are just that, enjoyable. Be it piss, poop or semen.

Originally posted by Robtard
I'm unsure of the question, m8

But taking a large well earned shit is enjoyable cos most releases in life are just that, enjoyable. Be it piss, poop or semen.

This thread is disgusting.

Originally posted by Old Man Whirly!
Ahh sorry, I wax lyrical about the babies arm of faeces (feces to you guys) I pass yearly on Christmas Day. Does it provide me with the greater relief or the shit I pass after along flight and my stomach has got over pressurization... Which is the greater pleasure, both are wonderful... but, surely one must be superior. "What is best in life?"- Conan

So the shit after a large Christmas meal or the shit after a long flight.

Hard to say, I'd lean to the post flight dump, cos flying sucks even with a good seat, so the end reward seems like it'd be greater. You suffered for the reward, in a manner.

Originally posted by Robtard
So the shit after a large Christmas meal or the shit after a long flight.

Hard to say, I'd lean to the post flight dump, cos flying sucks even with a good seat, so the end reward seems like it'd be greater. You suffered for the reward, in a manner.

Originally posted by wxyz
This thread is disgusting.

Originally posted by Old Man Whirly!
This is true, flying is horrible am I weird that I really enjoy a good shit?

That makes you human.

Originally posted by Robtard
That makes you human.

There are a wide variety of shits to choose from and many are satisfying in their own right.

A detailed list to pick a favorite from can be found here-

http://www.asandler.com/jokes/lists/shitlist.shtml

Originally posted by Raptor22
There are a wide variety of shits to choose from and many are satisfying in their own right.

A detailed list to pick a favorite from can be found here-

http://www.asandler.com/jokes/lists/shitlist.shtml

The post music festival shit after you've been ramming imodium tablets down your neck for a week so you don't have to use the festival arena toilets then you wolf a bunch of laxatives after getting home then go to sleep and wake up a few hours later before utterly destroying your toilet bowl with a dump that's more densely packed than a neutron star that is simply a plug for the torrent of diarrhea behind it.

Originally posted by jaden_2.0
The post music festival shit after you've been ramming imodium tablets down your neck for a week so you don't have to use the festival arena toilets then you wolf a bunch of laxatives after getting home then go to sleep and wake up a few hours later before utterly destroying your toilet bowl with a dump that's more densely packed than a neutron star that is simply a plug for the torrent of diarrhea behind it.

I still recall the biggest turd I've ever seen in person, let me regale you...

Was back in middle school, I was either in the 7th or 8th grade, I believe it was 8th. It was during our short break, I was walking to the bathrooms to take a piss and as I got closer I heard the laughing and jeering of several of my peers.

As I entered the bathroom, there were 10-11 students in and surrounding the far right toilet stall, all of them laughing and making "it's so huge!", "my ass hurts looking at it" and similar type commentary, needless to say, my adolescent curiosity was piqued.

I pushed and shoved my way past my class mates until I was in front of the bowl and my eyes fell upon the biggest and deepest brown turd I have ever seen to this day. This fecal-monstrosity was easily over 18 inches long that I could see, it's tail sweep all the way down into the toilet nether, disappearing into the watery darkness beyond. While the rounded head broke the water by a good 5 or so inches, like those pictures of the Loch Ness monster, just nearly falling short of touching the inner rim of the bowl.

What was even more impressive if you can believe, was not the length of this colon-wrecker, but the sheer girth of it. It was somewhere between the circumference of a Red Bull can and a Coco-Cola can and this was uniform for its entire length. Whomever passed this rectal-reaver, be it student or possibly a teacher, also had the humanity to neither wipe nor flush, cos I tell you there was not a shred of tissue in sight, the creator wanted his creation to be seen as nature intended in it's full unadulterated glory.

edit: Never found out who created it, the person never came forward

Originally posted by Robtard
I still recall the biggest turd I've ever seen in person, let me regale you...

Was back in middle school, I was either in the 7th or 8th grade, I believe it was 8th. It was during our short break, I was walking to the bathrooms to take a piss and as I got closer I heard the laughing and jeering of several of my peers.

As I entered the bathroom, there were 10-11 students in and surrounding the far right toilet stall, all of them laughing and making "it's so huge!", "my ass hurts looking at it" and similar type commentary, needless to say, my adolescent curiosity was piqued.

I pushed and shoved my way past my class mates until I was in front of the bowl and my eyes fell upon the biggest and deepest brown turd I have ever seen to this day. This fecal-monstrosity was easily over 18 inches long that I could see, it's tail sweep all the way down into the toilet nether, disappearing into the watery darkness beyond, while the rounded head broke the water by a good 5 or so inches, like those pictures of the Loch Ness monster, just nearly falling short of touching the inner rim of the bowl.

What was even more impressive if you can believe, was not the length of this colon-wrecker, but the sheer girth of it. It was somewhere between the circumference of a Red Bull can and a Coco-Cola can and this was uniform for its entire length. Whomever passed this rectal-reaver, be it student or possibly a teacher, also had the humanity to neither wipe nor flush, cos I tell you there was not a shred of tissue in sight, the creator wanted his creation to be seen as nature intended in it's full unadulterated glory.

edit: Never found out who created it, the person never came forward

Originally posted by Old Man Whirly!
That sounds so ****ing hardcore, only a Scotsman would think of this! Respect! 👆 😂

T in the Park toilets are not suitable for humans after the first day. Back then the ones in the campsite didn't get emptied all weekend. By the third night you'd have to check every toilet to find one that didn't have a multi-layered lasagne of shit-paper-shit-paper that extended several feet above the bowl rim.

I'm almost certain the Auschwitz toilets were more humane.

taking a massive dump is always good.. i do it regularly

Originally posted by jaden_2.0
T in the Park toilets are not suitable for humans after the first day. Back then the ones in the campsite didn't get emptied all weekend. By the third night you'd have to check every toilet to find one that didn't have a multi-layered lasagne of shit-paper-shit-paper that extended several feet above the bowl rim.

I'm almost certain the Auschwitz toilets were more humane.

Originally posted by Robtard
I still recall the biggest turd I've ever seen in person, let me regale you...

Was back in middle school, I was either in the 7th or 8th grade, I believe it was 8th. It was during our short break, I was walking to the bathrooms to take a piss and as I got closer I heard the laughing and jeering of several of my peers.

As I entered the bathroom, there were 10-11 students in and surrounding the far right toilet stall, all of them laughing and making "it's so huge!", "my ass hurts looking at it" and similar type commentary, needless to say, my adolescent curiosity was piqued.

I pushed and shoved my way past my class mates until I was in front of the bowl and my eyes fell upon the biggest and deepest brown turd I have ever seen to this day. This fecal-monstrosity was easily over 18 inches long that I could see, it's tail sweep all the way down into the toilet nether, disappearing into the watery darkness beyond. While the rounded head broke the water by a good 5 or so inches, like those pictures of the Loch Ness monster, just nearly falling short of touching the inner rim of the bowl.

What was even more impressive if you can believe, was not the length of this colon-wrecker, but the sheer girth of it. It was somewhere between the circumference of a Red Bull can and a Coco-Cola can and this was uniform for its entire length. Whomever passed this rectal-reaver, be it student or possibly a teacher, also had the humanity to neither wipe nor flush, cos I tell you there was not a shred of tissue in sight, the creator wanted his creation to be seen as nature intended in it's full unadulterated glory.

edit: Never found out who created it, the person never came forward

Originally posted by BruceSkywalker
taking a massive dump is always good.. i do it regularly

Originally posted by Raptor22
his name might remain a secret throughout the ages but the glory of his work will live on in the memories of all who witnessed its magnificence and in the hearts if those of us who have heard the tale.