ph34r + ty0ps on t3h int4rn4t!!1!!
Right. As you may have heard me complain in the Matrix forum, this is only a sort-of-flame-more-a-word-of-advice to people whose first language is English, and they are not dyslexic or have any other physical/mental ailment which prevents them from typing correctly.
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How to not l0s3 by Agent Ikobe
Lesson One: Punctuation
It's a key thing to remember that written language uses punctuation. If you're going to use it, then use it properly, damnit! So here's how to post in a polite and appreciative manner.
Good example:
Hello, I'm Agent Ikobe, and today I thought it'd be fun to correct people's terrible typing!
Bad example:
Hello Im Agent Ikobe's and today I thought itd be fun to correct peoples terrible typing's!!!!!!!!!!!
For more information of the joy of apostrophes, please take the time to see Bob the Angry Flower's opinion.
If you're going to use commas and full stops (that's a period to you American folks - no, don't laugh at the fact that's also a menstruation term you freaks), then please, for great justice, use them correctly! Commas should be used to space out long sentences. Sentences end in a full stop. A capital letter follows a full stop. Duh.
Lesson Two: l33tsp33k et al
Okay, so typing long words may not be your thing, but people still need to understand you. Those who are sane and/or have watched the movie 'Hackers' (starring the lovely Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie, who has a very Girl, Interrupted haircut) and understood the terrible 'l33t' terms... I'll continue anyway.
Good example:
Hiya, I'm Agent Ikobe! Wow, Hackers was actually a really good movie, I was laughing all the way through! Jonny Lee Miller is cute, don't you think?
Bad example:
HIya im 4gent 1k0b3!!!!1 wwo H4x0rs was atully a rlE gud mov3 dnt u think/??? LOLOLOlolol sooooo funny omg!!!1!!!!! jony l33 milr is soooooooo ctue dnt u think?>??/
Nobody likes posts that consist of only "LoloLOOLOLOLOLOL!!!11!" so please, don't do them.
Lesson Three: Spelling
Now, I know for a fact that everyone here is generally 13 years old, or older, seeing as it's illegal not to be. Now, seeing that English is your first language and you've all had some kind of tutoring, you should be able to spell accordingly. If not, there's online help 24 hours a day. Now, the occasional typo is fine, as it's a common error if you type quickly. Having a post with several typos is just terrible, especially as I've seen words that are incredibly hard to misspell typo-ed.
Good example:
I'm Agent Ikobe, and I'm a wonderful literate fourteen year old girl with a knack for spelling long words such as antidisestablishmentarianism without a dictionary! Haha!
Bad example:
Tihs a bad exsample of terrribl spalling. Plese fxi 4 gret justise kthx
The only excuse for different spelling is that some spellings change slightly either side of the Atlantic (ie. colour/color, favourite/favorite, cypher/cipher, sulphur/sulfur, etc.)
Lesson Four: Images in Posts
Now, using images in posts is a great way to distribute media. However, there are times when it's just not a good thing. A few tips on posting images...
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[*]Make sure the image is on-topic. Good example: a picture of on-set action in a Matrix Revolutions topic. Bad example: a picture of a ricer in a Matrix Revolutions topic.
[*]If the image is particularly large, then simply post the URL, as some people have low bandwidth, slow modems, unstable connections or are lagging anyway, and just don't have the time for large and possibly pointless images
[*]If there's no real need for it... just don't put it there, okay?
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CrazyShady, I suggest you read that through a good few times. Normally I'm not one to name names, but you really annoy me when you post pictures of topless girls in Matrix threads. And those 3d-rendered cars. Some of us run AOL, yanno.
Lesson Five: Civil Behaviour
Some people have a tendency to *****-fight in threads, and I've noticed a lot of the time they seem to be chasing each other and posting accusative messages, pitifully namecalling, trying to instigate a slag-match that nobody really wants to know about. If you're going to slug it out, then please do it via IM/PM/E-mail. We are a community and as in any community, bad behaviour should not be tolerated.
Congratulations! If you've learned something, well done, moron! You're now a fully-fledged able person! Go and celebrate your new-found abilities with the world! But for Chrissake, don't go yelling 'OMG I CAN SPALL!!!!!111111!!1!!!!!!! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH W000000!!!!', or I will have to hunt you down and destroy you.
~Agent Ikobe