" come here Xsavra" Elasco cried.
From the shadows came a a girl in a black velvet belly top adn a mini skirt she was chaned to the pilar near the table where Elasco voice came.
" Li, is that you." Harry asked. He was getting a headache again. He closed his eyes once more.
" Harry, harry are you ok."
He opened his eyes Li was over him crying. He sta up, he must have fainted. He turned to Li nad she turned away.
" So you know my secret." she whispered.
" What i don't understand." Harry said.
"I'm an exanigus, I can see the future, read minds, become invisible and live in more then one demention."
Plz carry on...
Li turned to run but harry stopped her.
" please take me back, I want to talk to sirius."
" Well ok but you have to promise to call me Xsavra if they find out my real name i disappear from that world. Grab my arm."
Harry did what he was told. He touched her and His scar began to burn. Harry's eyes glared over and he fainted. He woke in a bed in the corner of Elasco chambers. Li was sitting in a corner her hands berried in her hands. She had welds on her arms. Elasco had obviously been beating her.
He sat up and Sirius was sitting on a chair by his bed he was out cold. Harry watched his for awhile and every so often he would slap himself in his dream. Elasco was now visible on a high back chair in the corner near the pillar wear Li's chains wear bolted.
Li was no longer wearing the black velvet ensemble but a long red silk dress.
**review: whoa! Li has got some interesting powers! what have you done to Elasco?! i never meant him to be evil nor have slaves nor have chamers like that! sorry, i didn't know how much the story could change. maybe he's just dreaming that part?
i originally was going to have Elasco's Safe Haven going to be the new Hogwart's. in harry's sixth year. after he defeated voldie and ended up destroying the school by accident (didn't happen in the book), i wanted that to be the new school. where everyone is moving in and so forth. dumbledore had it arranged long ago with Elasco that the place was to be a back up school. so the youkai can be in second in command of the place, manage it and teach certain subjects. like the main building the group is in, that'd be the great hall, classes held and teacher's offices. then there would be seperate buildings behind the main front for each house and teacher's to bunk/stay in. elasco's is on the way far side of the forest and very far away from hogwart's. dumbledore felt it was time to move away from there because they were so cursed with evil coming there.
well, i'll explain more of my master plan later. i don't mean to flame your posts. i just never thought elasco would be evil. gtg for now! **
wow your master plan was so not what i expected it to be like...I thought that he would take over for voldie in sort of a way. I thought Li and Harry could fall in love adn then try to defeat Elasco togetther. I thought to kill off Dumbledore and wow i thought it more to be a kind of dungeon/castle that Elasco lived in. Yah so i like it more sort of a evil guy well maybe we can negotiate later about it and come up with something better. Yah and Li's powers was part of a sixth short version of the book i wrote and tryed to send in to j.k.rowling but it got sent back to me. Li was dumbledore great great grand duaghter nad she has four simblings three sister and one brother all of them in their sixth year and they came from usa from a school call Kiyaher in California and their mom was killed off my voldermort adn yah their dad had come to help albus with the order. Yah and Wow..... so yah i dunno what should happen anymore. I love the name exanigus! hahaha
Back to the story: She stood up and began to collect the lates from their meal earlier. She still had tears running down her face. She faced Harry and smilied, while pointing at The door way behind where Elasco chair stood. He nodded, leant over the bed and grabbed his trainers. he pulled each one on his feet and stood up. Harry walked up to Li.
hey, I live in england, I know them all! hee hee hee! Yah, trainers are shoes if you wanted to know! ha ha haa haa!
About the story so far, goodness me! Ok, well some things have to be said...
Wow that was good. Some very good points lead off from the original, and some very interesting new characters. Can you pm me, when you get a chance, BOPrecruit16 and let me know a little more about the character styles, and where the mood is going. I'll need some hints for such a pleasurably complicated twist of the story line!
ps, the evanescance CD for mood is perfect, i love it i love it i love it!
An excellent piece with many defining qualities.
I would suggest more adverbs within the content, and a litlle more description of surroundings so that readers who have less experience won't get lost, but all the same, bloody well done!
P.s, the story id moving very quickly, perhaps we should create some sort of conferancing thread?
let me know if there are changes atc. I will wait for BOPrecruit 16 to add to the story and to pm me before I will add to the story.
Im in for a lot of work! hee hee