Who is your favorite stand up comedian?

Andrew 'Dice" Clay

Originally posted by DigiMark007
So I have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm also one of those guys who thinks stand-up comedy is completely do-able by most people, myself included. I realize it's a bit pretentious, and that it's probably a lot harder than it looks, but I can't help how I feel when I watch most stand-up acts. I always feel like a week or two worth of planning and I'd have a similarly sweet act.

There's a Dino Comic that sums this up rather perfectly, but I couldn't find it when I searched.

Anyway. Open mic night, here I come.

awesome

....

Also, Bill Hicks

damnit, my bump deserves better treatment than the end of the page.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.

Jill came down with 2.50, ehh.

Originally posted by McLovin
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.

Jill came down with 2.50, ehh.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Stupid Jill
forgot her pill
and now they have a son.

Hickory Dickory Dock.
My balls fell out of my jock.
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And the ***** got a bone of her own!

Roll, roll, roll your ****
Gently down my prick.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Then you'll suck my dick.

Peter peter pumpkin eater
had a wife loved to beat her
smacked her twice across the head
****ed her ass and went to bed

Twinkle twinkle little star,
Will she blow me in the car.
I bought her dinner, she had fun.
My balls are boiling, I'd like to come.

Hickory Dickory Dock
The ***** was suckin my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
And dropped the ***** off at the next block!

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.
Whacked off in the movie theater.
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic's final scene

Anyone, anyone?

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored those flabby ****
And licked her ******* clean

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shine upon the parking lot
As I eat my girl friends ****.

Patty cake, patty cake,
Baker's man
If your chick's on her period
**** her in the can

Dice Man
Richard Pryor

Sarah Silverman

Originally posted by The Grey Fox
Bill Hicks, R.I.P

Originally posted by guy222
Dice Man
Richard Pryor

Lee Evans