Lying to someone involving their religious beliefs over yours
Should you stick to your beliefs and what you think is wrong or right 100% of the time when having a convo with someone, even when they might believe in something else ?
Or out of respect is it better to give them the anwer what they want so they dont look at you the wrong way involving a convo that links to something they are against in their religion ?
Awhile back me and my mom got into a discussion over a conversation she had with one of her catholic friends. My mom's Friend's Name is Cheryl and she is verry religious, doesnt believe in abortions or none of that.
But just recently one of our friends thats known us for many years had an abortion awhile back because she broke up with her Hubby and they were only married a month. He just ran off and Kamila didnt want to put a 2nd child in a position without a father, liker her 1st son, so she had an abortion. Cheryl asked my mom not to long ago and when is the baby due, and my mom said to cheryl that Kamila had a miscarriage instead of telling the truth and saying she got an abortion, only because sheryl is catholic and is against that. Do you think that was the best move ?
by lying to her friend about that, that means she is putting her friends beliefs over her own. I understand she did it out of respect some and didnt watn to start some arguement. But at times like that I think you should always be honest.
If I am talking about my religion to anyone or if someone ask me about my beliefs I give them the answear and don't lie to them.After all lieing just makes things worst.
pick your battles, if you feel the need to take someone up on something, do it, but if it serves absolutly no purpose, at least take that into consideration
Lying to avoid an argument is only putting off the inevitable. At least with religious beliefs like that. You can tip toe around it if you're careful enough, but being on eggshells every time you're around the other person will not breed a very healthy relationship. Eventually, the truth is going to come out. Depending on how good of friends they are, she's likely eventually going to learn that her friend finds abortion acceptable. Better to just let her know how the she feels and talk it out. If you cannot get along with each other and the "friendship" falls apart, then you'll have to accept that and move on. Can't make everyone happy.
Re: Lying to someone involving their religious beliefs over yours
I will never lie about my beliefs. Even if it's too a friend, hell I told my overly religious 87 year old great-grandmother that I'm atheist. If I can tell her, I can tell anyone.
In that situation, I would have said that the baby died, then you wouldn't be lying. I wouldn't be avoiding it to consider her beliefs, I would be avoiding it because it wouldn't be my place to tell. If the one who had the abortion wanted her to know she had an abortion, she would tell her.
Now, I don't think you should ever lie, given, there are almost always exceptions, but in my eyes, those are all dealing with your, or someone else's lives, not someone's feelings, or the way they feel about you. Lies eat you alive, sure it would suck to have your friend hate you, but it sucks way more to hold on to something like that, and you don't know what your friend would think, or rather how she would react.
I am personally against abortion, but if a friend of mine had one, I wouldn't stop being their friend because of it, I would be disappointed in them, and I would probably voice my disappointment, but I would still support my friend, and if someone can't do that, they need to change their thinking.
at that moment might bring positive consequences, but later on when some one finds out the truth, it hurts them more then knowing that you lied to them all that time instead of telling the truth from the begening.
Not only this, but YOU know you are lying, and it hurts you, I don't care what you say, but it does hurt, you might be callused to it, but by then the damage is done.
The idea that lies are wrong no matter what the context is absurd. We can all imagine a situation in which we would not only willingly tell a lie for some greater good, but it would result is such a better outcome with little or no consequence that we'd happily take it to our graves. Or, if you can't conceive of such a scenario, you haven't much imagination.
That said, it's just a matter of the line at which we separate good lies from bad ones, and the levels of guilt (from wracking, constant guilt to none at all) that we'd feel as a result. Obviously it's not a clear line, but there's going to be a fair number of lies that fall on the "good" side with little to no guilt. Less than the number of "bad" lies I'll grant, but that's about it.
Anyway, as a result, I have a hard time judging the lies of others. You don't know the full context, the relationship of the liar to the lie-ee, how people have reacted to the liars truths/lies in the past and how that affects their decision, etc. etc. Outside of clear and demonstrable suffering as a result of them, I have a hard time labeling a lot of lies as bad in any sense. We aren't owed the truth from people in most cases. It's considered socially unacceptable far more often than I believe it to be morally unacceptable.
Sorry but absolutes and pat little aphorisms bother me. Saying things like "lies always hurt more" is a great thing to teach children to avoid them becoming chronic liars, but we should be able to deal with life in more nuanced terms as adults. That said, I haven't the first opinion about the OP. That's not for me to decide.
There are no scenarios I can think of that a lie would be a better outcome (barring life threatening, or the equivalent, situations). But that may be that I just value the truth more than most people, but I still think that everyone would be much happier if they were always honest.
But what about when it comes to a point when you lie about an opinion on something just to be nice ? For example a girl you just started dating asks you if you like the dress, sure probably everyone here is gonna say yes even though you might think its out dated or makes her look more fat or the dress sucks.
do you think its ok to lie during a time like that ?
Hmm...you may have gotten me on that one, but I don't know actually, I haven't been in that situation, I may (and wouldn't you think this would be the reason they ask anyway?) just take it as a legitimate question of weather or not she should wear the dress, because I liked it, and answer honestly. If she doesn't like the answer, then that sux, but at least she knows how I feel about the dress, and it is just a dress, not like it matters at all. She might be mad for a little bit, then when she realizes that what I said was just being honest, and reasonable, then it will be all ok. And if not...I probably wouldn't want to be dating her anyway.
Well, to be fair, that doesn't mean that lying is good in their case. Any number of examples can be shown of people who do evil to make money and the same thing could be said about them. They're just trying to put food on the table for their kids...
The argument could then be made that Lawyers need to find a new way to support their family. It isn't like they are being forcd to be lawyers.
Just to be clear. I'm not saying Lawyers are evil, I'm just saying they don't provide a valid example of a "good" lie situation.
I would stop being friends with my friend if she had an abortion.It is just something that I can't stand and the friend would be like a different person to me.
but that would be her personal decision, It would be wrong for a friend to stop being friends with you, if you started a Relationship with a guy that your friend couldnt stand.
your friends arent always going to make the choices that you make, thats for sure.
EDIT: any time you tell a telemarketer you are busy
a friend comes to you with something they are proud of, but you don't think it is very good. Obviously you don't want to heap undue praise on it, but you would be against phrasing constructive criticism in a positive light?
your need for truth would have you belittle and criticize their work?
the ability to not be entirely honest is actually critical to our existence as social animals... Hell, you could reframe any time you aren't just oggling pretty girls into a dishonesty to your own feelings, thus, you must act like a creeper on the bus, else you are lying to yourself
__________________ yes, a million times yes
Last edited by tsilamini on Apr 25th, 2011 at 05:45 PM
KMC Community Forums
Lying to someone involving their religious beliefs over yours
Apr 21st, 2011 10:25 PM
