Stuck living with someone I absolutely hate down to my core

Moving out isn't an option, nor are interactions with them, as they sleep out in our living room.

What do I do? Today I reached a boiling point where me and this individual got into a physical altercation.

Neither them, nor I, are moving out anytime soon, enough if we wanted to, we can't, for the moment anyway.

Nothing happened but my mom had to physically move me back into my room, insults were thrown and we both had our fists raised.

Please give me some insight on how to deal with this, it's to the point where it's making me depressed just having them in the same house.

They don't have a job, they do not go out (They really CAN'T either, but thats beside the point).

The sit in the same spot all day, and I have to pass them to get to the kitchen.

My mom is on his side and if he is forced to leave it probably means she'll go too.

I also don't want to join the army, nor do I have friends I can stay with or even remotely the money to get even a really shitty apartment.

Please help.

Who is this person?

Originally posted by Quincy
Who is this person?

Move out.

You're not going to like hearing this but all you can do is live with this situation, keep the peace and deal. I was in a similar situation but I was 6-10 and lived through 4 years of hell and if I can do it then you can and you will.

Is this person abusive? Physically or emotionally? Or involved in illegal activities? Or do your disagreements come more from personal distaste?

Originally posted by Quincy
Is this person abusive? Physically or emotionally? Or involved in illegal activities? Or do your disagreements come more from personal distaste?

If me and my girlfriend are arguing, we make it discreet, we don't involve the whole damn house.

To be fair, I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that I could beat the hell out of him, I weigh more, I'm younger, I'm stronger. He's 50, has bad legs (can walk but has trouble getting up), and frequently gets dizzy to the point of nearly passing out.

The problem is, the dude's a damn psycho, I legit think someone could hold a gun with his head, and his immediate response would be to try and punch the guy and get himself killed.

His first response to any type of male trying to tell to even calm down, is to get louder and angrier.

Originally posted by Nuke Nixon
You're not going to like hearing this but all you can do is live with this situation, keep the peace and deal. I was in a similar situation but I was 6-10 and lived through 4 years of hell and if I can do it then you can and you will.

You need to physically assert yourself as the man of the house. Make your step-dad understand that you are your mother's son and that he while may financially support her, her heart, and her body, belong to you.

This sounds alarming but don't despair. EVERY son of divorce has had to go through this. Just remember your birth rights and you'll be fine.

Originally posted by Tzeentch
You need to physically assert yourself as the man of the house. Make your step-dad understand that you are your mother's son and that he while may financially support her, her heart, and her body, belong to you.

This sounds alarming but don't despair. EVERY son of divorce has had to go through this. Just remember your birth rights and you'll be fine.

My mom's screaming at me defending him to the teeth.

I use to work in a shelter. U can go there for as many nights as possible.

Originally posted by rudester
I use to work in a shelter. U can go there for as many nights as possible.

I'm thinking about checking into a mental institution to see if I qualify.

I need to be able to keep in touch with my girlfriend so no wifi isn't an option.

Umm actually a mental institution has a drop in as we.. Heating food etc.. But u have to tell them ur hearing voices and would like to check in.. They should be able to accommodate u. They do however steal in those places.

Originally posted by Jmanghan
Is there heating among other stuff? Any guarantee I won't get belongings stolen?

I'm thinking about checking into a mental institution to see if I qualify.

I need to be able to keep in touch with my girlfriend so no wifi isn't an option.

When i said move out, i meant it.
You are wasting the best years of your life in a situation you can change if you really want to.
Dont want to join the Army? Join the Navy. Its a lot easier. Apply to the police academy. The frikkin' peace corps.
Get out and see the world, or at least more of where you live than where you are now.

Jobs with room & board:

https://www.thebalance.com/top-jobs-with-free-room-and-board-4114192

The above was said with about as much caring as i can muster for someone i dont actually know.
Rest assured if i knew you in RL i'd have gotten you off your ass way before now.
Anyway, good luck.
I wont post in here again as i'm not gonna hold your hand and tell you how bad you have it.
Thats not what you need to hear.

Whatever you do, good luck with it.

hey jman hope it gets better and sorts itself out, shit situation by the sounds of it. stay positive.

This is going to be hard to take in

but you do not always know the one on one

personal history and dependency two people have.

The person you see today 50 with bad health in a bad place.

That person may have helped your mom through an even worse situation than you're going through - whatever they have between them - I think you've got to respect that - those two have something - walk past him - respect the fact that he's your mothers friend - say hi

Like Riv says - work on moving out
And at the same time - in your mind treat it as a grace period - you've had the physical altercation - you've had the strong words - you've had the death stares - the toxic body language - Draw a line and say ok - done that - now I'm going to be me.

Theres enough sadness in that house. This may seem impossible but while you are there try to laugh

One place I was at - it was terrible - To protect his spirit one guy would sing and he was an awful singer - but it lifted the atmosphere - I used to talk - I talked to the people I hated - I wasn't going to be like them - I was going to be me - Fair to everyone - If you keep in your mind at all times everyone - even a completely insane psycho - can do something that can actually help people - it can make it easier to talk to and to be polite - over time if you do this enough - you will develop very good people skills - in my case - some enemies became warm allies - People are funny.

You have a fight and a flight instinct

Turn off your fight instinct (It won't help you or your mom)

Go with the flight instinct

Although you don't have an option out right now - Today - right at this second

Say to yourself I have a new job I'll be starting soon - You're obviously intelligent

And put all the energy and all the thinking and 'feels' you would have put into getting your point accross, winning the battle of the living room, winning your mom all that energy all that thought all the research into this situation - all of that energy into actually getting work - opening up your wings and flying the nest.

Everyone has to fly the nest at some time

All our stories are different

As you get to work on your own story

to make it easier on your mom - to give her some solid memories of you when you're gone - show her you - her son - at your best.

I'm the type of person that can't let stuff go.

One day I am going to have to do something TO him.

I'm not the type of person that just goes on with my life later on.

Like, for me to have closure, I am going to have to... 1. Beat the shit out of him. 2. Get others to know of him and know what kind of person he really is. 3. Get him put behind bars.

It's gotten so bad that I've actually started to despise people in my own family who are fine with his actions.

I plan on having children one day and I just wanna keep my kids away from my mom and anyone else who condones his actions.

Anyone who doesn't cut him out or say something to him, I just can't deal.

Yeah its selfish, but I can't change that decision, I can't knowingly let my child around someone who didn't immediately ditch someone who was a child abuser.

Furthermore, if I pressed charges, would it stick?

So punch him in the face and move on, you could kill him but you'll get 20 to life. The DNA is always under the fingernails.

But a friend to a friend. You need to learn to let things go, as you get older you become more wiser and you need to learn when to pick a fight with someone and when to walk away. Holding in anger is waiting for a bomb to eexplode. You need to find someone who's subjective that you haven't talked to about this situation and talk to them for advice. You also need to be responsible in life because you are a father, your actions have consequences and how you deal with your problems will ultimately form how your kids deal with life. You are teaching them skills as well. Dude, learn to meditatemeditate everyday through breabreathing techniques, learn to forgive people and theirtheir" way of lifelife whatever that might be. Finally forgive yourself for wanting to hate someone else. You can't control others only yourself. Master yourself and you master the universe.